And then someone else said, “Carter?”
Jeff turned to take in the newcomer, and Carter… sort of slipped behind him.
The new guy was a little taller than Jeff and more solidly built, with dark blond curls and a pink slash of a mouth parted in recognition—first of Carter, but then his gaze lit on Jeff and his eyes went wide.
Maybe Jeff should’ve let Carter hustle him out of here.
Behind him, he could feel Carter’s resignation. “Hey, Pacey.”
Wait,Pacey? Like that guy onDawson’s Creek? Jeff had never actually met anyone whose parents named them that, which meant this man wasn’t local, or at least he hadn’t grown up here.
Pacey cleared his throat and looked pointedly from Carter to Jeff. “Sorry, am I interrupting?”
“What?” Carter said, faux casual—way too faux for Jeff to fall for it, though he didn’t know about Pacey. “Uh, we were just grocery shopping.”
Pacey looked for all the world like the next words out of his mouth were going to bearen’t you going to introduce me to your friend, at which point Carter was going to lie to at least one of them. It didn’t take a genius to figure that out. “And I realized I lost my phone somewhere on the walk in,” Jeff filled in before Carter had to profane himself. “Carter’s going to help me look for it. Right, Carter?”
He chanced a look back just in time to see Carter’s expression go from resigned-deer-in-headlights to unlooked-for-relief. “Uh, yeah. Maybe you dropped it on the way over from the bakery?”
Whatever. Jeff could play along. “Yeah, I did stop to take that selfie with the bear claw.” He set the basket, eggs and butter and all, down on the reshelving table.
Carter mustered an anemic smile for whatever hell demon from his past Pacey was. “Nice seeing you,” he said, putting his basket next to Jeff’s, and they walked out of the store together.
Jeff was kind of worried Carter was going to have an anxiety attack, so he didn’t ask the question right away, instead steering him down the street in the direction of the bakery.
When they were half a block past the grocery, Carter started to unclench. He dropped onto the bench in front of the pharmacy and put his head in his hands.
Jeff strongly wished he had a Frappuccino or something to sip on while he waited for Carter to collect his wits, because he was lining up any number of caustic one-liners on the same theme and having a difficult time choosing between them, and a Frappuccino would pass the time. But finally Carter raised his head—not enough to look at Jeff, but at least so he was gazing across the street and not at his shoes—and said, “Thanks,” his voice laden with all kinds of trouble.
Jeff decided on the straightforward route.
“So,” he said conversationally, “who was that?”
Carter sighed heavily. “Pacey McNaughton. His family owns a summer cottage about fifteen kilometers down the road.”
Obviously not the information Jeff was looking for, but sometimes you had to be patient with Carter or your suspicions would grow into conclusions and then you’d have way too many emotions to deal with on a public sidewalk at not even ten in the morning. “And how do you know Mr. McNaughton?”
Finally Carter looked up and met his eyes. “How do you think?”
Patience had never been Jeff’s strong suit. “Well, Carter, myfirstthought was ‘Wow, that is definitely Carter’s ex-boyfriend,’ but then I thought, ‘Nah, that can’t be it, Carter definitely would’ve told me if he was into dudes.’ You know, like fifteen years ago, or at least last week.”
Carter’s mouth flattened into a thick line. “That’s not fair.”
I’ll fucking say, Jeff thought, narrowly tamping down on a surge of panic. Because it was one thing to have been in love with Carter fifteen years ago, knowing he was unavailable. It was another thing to crush on him now when they’d be going their separate ways by the end of the summer. And it was something entirely different to realize the bedrock he’d based his assumptions on was actually quicksand.
Then Carter went on, “I’m not famous, okay? Maybe you don’t remember what it’s like, but for the rest of us, it’s not like there’s oneVanity Fairarticle and then you never have to come out again. You have to keep doing it again and again and again. Forever.” His nostrils flared a little, and the corners of his mouth turned down. “And sometimes the longer you know someone, the harder it is.”
Bullshit.He couldn’t have told Jeff back when the two of them were thick as thieves? Carter had been Jeff’s confessor. It stung that he hadn’t trusted Jeff enough to reciprocate—not back then, and not in the past few days either.
But that was Jeff’s problem, not Carter’s. No one owed it to anyone to come out before they were ready.
He sank down next to Carter on the bench, all his fight replaced with guilt and hurt. “You’re right. You’re absolutely right, I’m being a shithead, proving your point for you. Sorry. I didn’t mean to make it more difficult.”
But in typical fashion, Carter was already finished being angry, because he waved off the apology. “It’s fine. I know if I’d mentioned it that day we went for lunch it would’ve been fine. I just get…. Well, this isn’t the only time it’s happened, obviously.”
“Obviously,” Jeff said. “And I mean, you’re mostly right that I don’t have to come out to people, but it’s not like everyone in the world knows my face. Sometimes I do have to. And it does get tiring correcting people’s assumptions.”
Carter smiled wanly. “Thanks.”
