“He was,” she agreed as the server brought their drinks. They ordered, and the server left again with the menus. “Carter tells me you’re joining us for the memorial?”
“If that’s okay,” Jeff said. “I’d like to pay my respects. I was… I wish I’d been around sooner.”
She pulled her tea close to her. “You’re here now. And of course you’re welcome. Fred would have loved to have you there.”
He tried to internalize that. If it was good enough for her, it could be good enough for him.
They spent a pleasant half hour chatting about nothing in particular, and Jeff felt the agitation of the morning ebbing.
“I suppose I’d best get back to the garage.” Ella sighed and glanced at the time. “The invoicing isn’t going to do itself.”
Jeff hadn’t realized she was still working. He had thought she’d retire. “Would you like a ride?”
“No, thank you, sweetheart, I drove. But it was wonderful seeing you.” When the check came, Ella tried to pay.
Jeff said, “My treat. I insist. It was my pleasure. Anyway, Carter took me out yesterday.”
Ella shook her head. “Yes, I know. I should be thanking you, getting that boy to take half a day from saving the world.”
So Carter had grown up into a workaholic too. Somehow that didn’t surprise him. He had so much of his dad in him. “It was good seeing you, Ella.”
Jeff wanted to linger at the diner after she left, but the patrons in the booths kept glancing over. Any longer and he’d be inviting selfie requests. Instead, he paid the bill, left a generous tip, and slipped out the door before anyone could verify that he wasthatJeff.
He was most of the way back to his truck when his phone buzzed. Buoyed with a weird, unfamiliar hope, he pulled it out and unlocked the screen.
And promptly considered dropping it.
Howl Guitarist Caught with Pants Down
There went Jeff’s good mood. He climbed into the cab and sat to skim through the article, which included a video—with appropriate pixilation—of Max urinating on the outside of a bar in downtown Toronto. Trix was with him, just as drunk but with her pants on.
For fuck’s sake. Jeff hadn’t even been out of the city for three days and Max was being cited for public indecency. At least it seemed like he eluded possession charges this time. Maybe he left the drugs in Trix’s purse.
Maybe they shoved it all up their noses.
Whatever. Jeff wasn’t their babysitter, and he wasn’t their mom. Tim could handle it, or not. And surely to God journalists knew not to ask Jeff for a comment.
He started the truck but left it in Park as he leaned back in the driver’s seat and stared up through the sunroof.
“Fuck.”
JEFF WOULDN’Texactly call himself a gym rat, but the fact that he ate a majority of his meals on the road several months out of the year meant he had to keep physically active if he didn’t want to feel like garbage. Plus, he needed his body in good condition to keep his energy up during a concert. So after lunch, with irritation once more burning through his veins, he drove back to the cabin, changed into running shorts, and stuck in his AirPods.
An hour’s worth of exercise and cottage rock put him back on an even keel. It was a warm day now, but the path he took kept him within sight of the water a good amount of the time, so he stayed cool. Just that morning he’d felt like the waves were going to drive him crazy. This afternoon they were eroding his sharp edges the same as they did to the rocks on the shore.
Well. The waters of the Sound could change pretty quick. That was what Jeff told himself.
He took another quick shower when he returned to the cabin, which was so tiny that Jeff’s sweat stink would fill it otherwise. Then he took a Gatorade out of the fridge, made himself a snack plate, and went to go soak up the sunshine on the picnic table.
So things weren’t going exactly as he’d hoped. That was fine, right? He hadn’t written any music yet, but that didn’t mean anything. He hadn’t gotten up the nerve to officially quit the band yet either, but he wasn’t going to do that over the phone, so that was… fine. He’d made up with Carter and now he could work through fifteen years of regret and grow as a person or whatever. Now that they were adults, Jeff could get to know him for real, and inevitably he’d find some flaw that would prove they were ill-matched, as he’d found with every person he’d dated since, and he could finally get some closure on this part of his life.
The lap of the water in his ears was a perfect lullaby. With the breeze slowly drying his hair and the sun warming his face and his muscles pleasantly buzzing with exertion, Jeff let languor overcome him.
He couldn’t have said what woke him. Maybe it was the angle of the sun, or the rumble of his stomach reminding him it was time for more than just that half-eaten plate of fruit and cheese.
Maybe it was the shuffle of something in the pine needles next to the picnic table he was asleep on.
In any case, Jeff stretched languidly, relishing the twinge of muscles. He turned his head to the side, opened his eyes—
