“Well, shit. I’m sorry, kid. I really thought….” He shook his head.
Jax wrapped his arms around his chest and eyed his friend. His face was all compassion and understanding. Suddenly Jax didn’t want to talk about Ari anymore. “Why didn’t you tell me about Naomi?” Oh, great idea, Jax. Poke atthishurt instead.
Hobbes flushed and smoothed a hand over the back of his hair. “Ah, well… it’s complicated.”
Jax had arrived home from dinner at Ari’s parents’ to find them asleep in bed at just past eight in the evening. It didn’tsoundcomplicated. “Really,” he said dryly.
The flush deepened. Maybe this wasn’t the worst idea after all. Jax did love to tease, and Hobbes was an easy target.
“Because I know I call you ‘old man,’” Jax continued, “but it’s a little early for bedtime even for you, isn’t it? Unless she wore you out, I mean, I wouldn’t judge—”
“Jax.”
Yeah, fuck, okay. Jax knew he was being an asshole.
“Thank you.” Hobbes shifted and looked like he wished he still had something to occupy his hands. “Considering the circumstances, we figured we’d make sure this was going somewhere before we told… anyone.”
Byanyone, Jax readyou. Still— “Circumstances?” he asked cautiously.
Hobbes was a pediatrician. Jax knew he had a lot of experience with difficult conversations. But it wasn’t something he thought about most of the time, because Hobbes wasn’tJax’sdoctor, he was Jax’s friend.
So he didn’t appreciate how sensitive Hobbes could be, how delicately he could convey difficult news, until he looked in Jax’s eyes with sympathy but not a trace of pity and said, “Kid… we didn’t want to hurt you if it fizzled out after a week.”
And Jax had thought his day couldn’t get any worse.
Hobbes knew about Jax’s feelings for him. Hobbes had probably known for ages, and he’d never said a word. He’d treated Jax with the same rough-edged kindness he had since Jax was a terrified student trying to make sense of medical software.
“Jeez.” Jax wiped a hand over his face. “I honestly thought this conversation could not get any more awkward.”
Hobbes snorted gently. “Don’t underestimate yourself.”
Jax actually did laugh at that. Okay.Sometimeshis taste in romantic interests didn’t completely suck, even if things didn’t work out. And that led him back around to things with Ari’s parents, because talking about that was actually the lesser of two evils. He wondered if Hobbes studied conversational strategy the way people studied chess. “I forgot my fucking pill today. Didn’t think about it until I was already on my way to Ari’s, and then it was too late.”
“That probably didn’t make things any easier.”
“No, I—” He huffed out a frustrated breath. “If I don’t take it, I don’t feel like I did before I started taking them. It’s so much worse, I feel… raw. I take everything too personally. My judgment’s not what it could be.”
Hobbes waited, but when Jax didn’t volunteer any more information, he must have figured out where he was going with it. “Said a few things you wish you could take back, huh?”
Jax shook his head. “I don’t know. Maybe.” He definitely could’ve handled dinner better. Yeah, Ari had hurt him with his lack of defense, but there was no question Jax had overreacted. Jax was the one who’d stuck a screwdriver in the fissure between himself and Ari’s parents and whacked it with a sledgehammer, then shoved in a stick of dynamite. “If it was going to implode anyway, better to know now, right?”
Then again, maybe if he hadn’t escalated—maybe if they’d given each other a chance—they could have found enough common ground to avoid this.
And maybe Jax would go back into academia and win the Millennium Prize.
“Don’t ask me, kid, I’m not any better at this than you are.”
Jax knew that wasn’t true, and even if it were, you didn’t have to be better than Jax at relationships to have successful ones, if you had less baggage. He mustered a smile. “Well, do me a favor and don’t fuck this up, okay? You literally cannot do better than Naomi. Sorry not sorry. You’re punching out of your weight class.” Jax knew something about that.
“I know,” Hobbes said wryly. “No pressure, right?”
“You survived med school.” Unlike Jax, who’d never finished his PhD. “You’ll be fine.” He gestured with his head toward the stairs. “Now go put your expensive education to good use.”
Hobbes buried his face in his hands. “Jax—”
“Yeah, all right.” Jax raised his arms in surrender. He wasn’t fit company for anyone tonight. “I think I’m just—going to go to bed too. With noise-canceling headphones. But thanks, Hobbes.”
Hobbes emerged from his finger cocoon. “Anytime.”
