And if you have a broken heart, baby,
I’ve got a matching set of blues.
It wasn’t the song he’d intended to write, but he could see where it was going, and maybe that was enough of a sign. He put down his pen and sighed as he reached for his car keys. Time to see if his parents were home.
Chapter Seventeen
IT WASJax’s idea to meet at a coffee shop, even though he didn’t drink the stuff. Neutral territory, somewhere they could each storm out if the mood struck. And because Jax was a practical man, he’d chosen Starbucks. He wasn’t sacrificing his good memories of his favorite pastry place on the altar of their relationship if the shit hit the fan.
He arrived fifteen minutes early and ordered a mint tea, hoping to calm his nervous stomach. Then he sat at a table in a corner and made himself as small and unapproachable as possible.
He expected a disaster.
Ari came in five minutes before the appointed time and ordered a London Fog. The drink suited him—looked nice, smelled better, unexpected depth of flavor. Jax raised his head and made eye contact to acknowledge he’d seen Ari, and ignored the butterflies attempting to stage a coup in his belly. They could keep their fluttering to themselves.
Finally the drink was ready and Ari sat down, glancing around as though to gauge their privacy. Shit, Jax hadn’t thought of that. He’d never dated anyone kind of famous before. He hoped it wouldn’t become an issue.
“Thank you for agreeing to meet with me,” Ari began formally as he ran his long fingers along the edge of his cup lid. For a moment he watched his own hands, and Jax wondered if he was going to keep talking to them, but then he lifted his gaze and met Jax’s eyes. “I treated you abominably. You deserve better.”
Unless Ari was a better actor than Jax gave him credit for, he meant that. He looked like he hadn’t slept in two days, and his eyes were shadowed with guilt as well as exhaustion.
Maybe they could salvage this. “Yeah, well.” Jax wrapped both hands around his cup and tried to draw strength from the remaining warmth. “Either you’re going to earn a second chance or I’m going to get closure, I guess.” He didn’t like that it came to an ultimatum, but some things could not be compromised.
Ari swallowed. “I understand. It was inexcusable of me to keep our relationship from my parents without at least explaining my reasons to you. I shouldn’t have made you feel as though I’m ashamed of anything about you. Nothing could be further from the truth.”
Jax let out a slow breath. Ari still had a ways to go, but he was on the right track. Jax could acknowledge that and attempt to explain the strength of his own reaction. “Thank you.” He cleared his throat. “It hit a nerve, you know? Not just because of things with my own mom, but.” He rubbed at a little run of spilled tea dripping down the side of his cup. “One of the things with ADHD, it can make you feel like you’re not good enough, being left behind. So anything that seems to confirm those feelings is a big deal. I’m telling you now because it’ll come up again.” It was easier to manage now that he had medication and a diagnosis, but twenty-seven years of baggage didn’t unpack itself overnight.
Especially since the PhD was on indefinite hold.
Ari looked stricken. “Jax… I regret that I hurt you.”
Jax nodded and lifted his cup. Lukewarm tea proved a poor distraction.
“Also, I should have told you the truth about Sohrab when it happened.” Ari put his cup down, flexed his hands into fists, then released them and twitched his fingers as though he were warming up for the piano.
“Why didn’t you?”
He sighed. “I was embarrassed and ashamed I hadn’t told my parents about us, and that it led to such an absurd situation.” He made an abortive motion toward Jax’s hand, and after a moment’s hesitation Jax reached out and allowed him to take it. “I don’t ever want you to doubt my loyalty or my feelings for you.”
Two for two, Jax thought. “Apology accepted.”
That left the restitution, though. Ari could apologize all he liked, but— “So what are we going to do about it?” He should’ve saidyou, but he’d used up his assertiveness.
Ari took a deep breath. “I have told my parents about you and they wish to meet you.”
“Oh.” Jax hadn’t expected Ari to fix that so quickly. “Okay.”
Ari squeezed Jax’s hand. “I want to warn you… I wasn’t exaggerating when I said that my parents have chased away men.”
“It’s okay. I’ve got excellent meet-the-parents game.” That was probably an exaggeration—Jax hadn’t met a lot of parents in this context—but he was great at charming people.
“I am aware of how charming you are. But Jax, I need you to understand something. There is a reason my parents picked Sohrab. Remember when I told you about them wanting me closer to home? Well, mostly they want me to marry a rich Persian doctor and be his househusband. They have probably already gathered information about surrogates and adoption.”
“That’s, uh, a very specific wish list.” Surely his parents couldn’t be that restrictive? Then again, Jax’s mother’s dream for him involved a PhD in math at a Canadian university.
“Indeed. And yes, they love me, but they also love the image they’ve created of my future. And you are definitely not a Persian doctor.”
“Ah. Right.” So Jax was starting on the back foot. That was fine; in a manner of speaking, he’d been on the back foot most of his life without knowing it. He could work with that. “I guess that means I have to try extra hard to be lovable.”
