At least the wine wouldn’t go to waste.
Still—“Excuse me,” he said, and slipped away from the table to beg a favor from Sophie under the guise of using the restroom.
Ten minutes after his return, Paloma brought the next course and two wineglasses once again. But she then turned around and produced a large martini glass filled with something pink and fizzy. “I heard you’re a bartender,” she said conversationally, sliding the drink in front of Jax. “Certified virgin cocktail. Though I’m not sure I caught the name of the beverage…?”
“That’s—thank you.” Jax took it, flushing slightly, and glanced sidelong at Ari. “The version I make him’s called a Sparkling Conversation.”
Paloma laughed. “That’s fabulous. I might have to bribe you out of your recipe. But what would you call the no-alcohol version?”
“Hm.” Jax tried a sip. “A Diverting Discourse?”
“Needs work,” Paloma noted, but she left them to their next course.
“You didn’t have to do that,” Jax murmured.
“I wanted to.”
He wanted everything to be perfect.
“THIS ISthe nicest first date I’ve ever been on,” Jax commented as they walked back toward Ari’s apartment. The original plan had been to take a walk after dinner, but the forecast called for rain. The sky was rumbling, and the winter chill had finally arrived.
“I’m glad,” Ari answered, squeezing his fingers. “I was nervous.”
Something warm fluttered in Jax’s chest. “Yeah? I’m kind of a sure thing, you know.”
Even without looking, he could feel Ari’s wry side-eye. “Perhaps. But I… it may shock you to know that I’m not actually very good at dating.”
This information caught Jax so off guard that for several seconds, his mouth hung open and nothing went inorout of it. At length he managed, “Well, you’re faking it very well as far as I’m concerned. A chef’s table for a private tasting menu? With wine pairings?”
“Wine pairings I forgot you wouldn’t be able to enjoy,” Ari pointed out.
“Still impressed.”
A moment of comfortable silence passed before Ari volunteered, “In fairness, it’s not usually the actual dates that are the problem.”
Jax glanced over, but he couldn’t glean anything from Ari’s face—not enough light, and the man could play professional poker if he wanted to. “No?”
“It’s a lot of things. People sometimes find me a bit cold.”
What?Jax thought of the softness of his eyes, the way he said Jax’s name, the tenderness of his touch, and the passion he put into his music. “Have these people met you?” He rarely felt as warm as he did under Ari’s focused intensity.
“Unfortunately a different me, I think.” Ari tugged on their hands, consciously or not, and Jax stepped closer, until their shoulders were brushing. “I don’t always find it easy to connect with people. I often express myself through music instead of words or actions.”
Okay, that made sense, and Jax could maybe forgive some of these hypothetical past lovers for missing the larger picture. Maybe. “But not with me?”
“Alsowith you,” Ari corrected. “But you understand the music, I think, and….”
Jax’s pulse beat high in his throat. “And?” Why was he holding his breath?
“And unlike anyone else, you’re worth putting in the effort to remember words and actions too.”
There was that warmth Jax was talking about. It practically flooded through him as they reached Ari’s building.
Jax cleared his throat. “You know, I’m not actually great at dating either. I mean, sometimes it’s not my fault. Just because when I’m not in a relationship I’m a promiscuous pansexual doesn’t mean I’m a cheater, but try telling that to assholes. Maybe that’s why, ever since I was a kid, get me in a relationship that doesn’t suck, and I….”
Ari waited patiently, tugging Jax’s hand again until they faced each other in the glow of the streetlamp.
It was harder to say this while looking straight at him. Jax cut his gaze away and looked down the block at the quiet street. “I just go all in way too fast, you know? My sister says I fall in love at the drop of a hat.” His voice broke a little on that all-important word, and he quickly added to cover it up, “It freaks people out.”
