“It’s fine.” He could practically see his father brushing this off. “You know your mother and I are always here for you. What’s up?”
Nate took a deep breath, difficult with the lump in his throat. He hadn’t really even thought the words to himself yet, but it was time to admit it all out loud now. “I know you’re always saying you raised me to persevere against the odds.” Professional athletes didn’t stop when things got hard. They’d never make it if they did.
“We did. Your mother and I are proud of everything you’ve accomplished, your determination….” He trailed off, sounding uncertain. “What’s this about?”
“I…. Dad, I’m not a quitter, but I hate my job.” There. He’d said it. Pushing the words out seemed to loosen something in his throat, and more followed after. “I was so proud of everything Jess and I did, and Aubrey made it all feel like it clicked. Then the network sold us out, and ever since then—well, you’ve been watching.” Ratings in their previous demographic had dropped, though they’d picked up a few points in other areas. Nate was more miserable now than he’d ever been when he was John’s co-anchor. “Paul is a troglodyte. I feel like we’re catering to a completely different audience who wouldn’t like me anyway. I don’t have any creative control, and I miss Aubrey.”
“Nate….” He could almost see him shaking his head. His gut churned. Disappointing his parents was something he absolutely could not do. Not when they’d sacrificed so much for him. “I don’t know where you got this idea that not being a quitter meant suffering through a job that’s making you miserable.”
Nate’s breath came out in an unexpected rush. “I….”
“You want to keep your hand in in the sports-anchor world or in the entertainment world, then your mother and I expect you to put your best effort into that. What we don’t expect is for you to continue doing this show.” He paused, and Nate could hear something vague in the background. “Your mother says, ‘Please tell him to quit so we don’t have to watch this garbage anymore.’ Direct quote.”
Nate barked a surprised laugh that brought a tear with it. Did he have a Kleenex or something somewhere? He checked his pockets. “All right. Thanks. I—”
He paused and pulled a tiny piece of paper from his pocket. It was crumpled—had it gone through the wash? Absently, he smoothed it out.
Follow the middle path. Neither extreme will make you happy.
“I have… some more news,” he said roughly. What a stupid time for an epiphany, but— “I’m not coming for Christmas. Tell Emily—tell her I’ll make it up to her, I promise, whatever she wants. I’ll take everyone on a vacation somewhere, just… I have somewhere else I need to be.”
“I understand,” his father said, and Nate didn’t think he was imagining the approval in his voice. “Say hi to Aubrey from us.”
Nate laughed a little incredulously. “I will.”
In retrospect, an airport on December 23 was a stupid place and time to come to a decision. On the other hand, at least he’d finally made one.
The idea of getting back on a plane with Paul, who wasn’t Aubrey, going home to Chicago, where Aubrey wasn’t, dropping off his bag at home and then flying on to Michigan to meet his own parents, finally made something inside him snap.
This was stupid. He was stupid. But he had the resources tostop being an idiotand do what he wanted with his life.
He sent a text message to his agent, because this was going to get messy. He sent another to his mom, because she deserved an apology of her own.
Then he found a ticket counter and prepared to pay through the nose to change his flight to somewhere he actually wanted to be.
Chapter Twenty-Six
AUBREY HADonce had his own apartment in Vancouver, of course, but considering the difficulty of finding housing there and the restrictions on vacant real estate, he’d leased it out. So, for the first time in forever, he was staying with his family—albeit in his parents’ guest house instead of the main building.
His family. How strange. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d spent a holiday with them and actually enjoyed it. And sure, things weren’t perfect, but Rachel’s wedding was fun. He didn’t feel jealous, at least not of the attention heaped on her. The serene happiness she projected everywhere and the obvious adoration in her new husband’s eyes… those he could envy.
His mother must have noticed, because she’d reached over and squeezed his arm. “Give it time.”
He’d already tried getting Nate to move in with him. The ball was in Nate’s court now. Giving it time was all Aubrey could do.
Meanwhile, it was already the morning of December 24, and the tree needed decorating.
“No professional this year?” he asked as his father set a dusty box of ornaments on the floor next to the tree.
“Your mother’s therapist suggested it would be a good family activity.”
They looked at each other, then at the box, then at the tree, which was nearly tall enough to reach the fourteen-foot ceiling.
Aubrey said, “Does Mom’s therapist know you’re afraid of ladders?”
“Where’s your sense of adventure?” his mother chided, coming into the room with a stepladder that one of them might, generously, use to get decorations two-thirds of the way up the tree.
“I hung upside down from a roof last week with knives strapped to my feet,” Aubrey pointed out.
