They both stopped. A flush was creeping up Nate’s cheeks. He flexed his fingers as though he was trying not to fidget.
Aubrey shoved his hands in his pockets to quell the same impulse. This was stupid. He was smooth, God damn it. He didn’t fidget. He didn’t stammer. He did not have trouble getting hot men to go home with him for sex.
Before he could think of what to say next, Nate raised his arm and rubbed at the back of his neck. Aubrey followed the movement with his eyes, tracing the underside of Nate’s arm, the way the fabric pulled against his chest. “I mean,” Nate said, “we obviously came here with the same thing in mind. I know hooking up with someone you’ve already had sex with is sort of the opposite of the point, but on the other hand, that’s twenty minutes I don’t have to spend pretending to give a fuck about some spray-tanned brats in an ugly house.”
Fuck it. If this was all Aubrey was going to get, he was going to take it with both hands and be grateful. “You had me at ‘Do you want to get out of here,’” he said. “Let me pay my tab.”
Chapter Ten
NATE WOKEup five minutes before his alarm more well-rested than he had any right to be, given the activities of the night before. He made himself a breakfast smoothie, took a quick trip down to the gym to run a few miles, then hit the shower and grabbed his go bag from the hall closet.
Aubrey was waiting for their car in front of the building, sipping his abominable canned coffee, but even the thought of that couldn’t dim Nate’s mood. “Morning.”
Aubrey gave him a once-over that made the back of Nate’s neck feel hot. “Good morning. You look relaxed.” He passed Nate a coffee from the kiosk. “Good night last night?”
Oh, is that how we’re playing it?Nate took a sip and wasn’t even surprised when it turned out to be his usual order. He didn’t know whether Aubrey had memorized it or if he’d asked the kiosk guy. “It was all right,” he said casually. “Yours?”
Aubrey’s mouth curved up in a smug smile. “Best night’s sleep I’ve had in weeks.”
They made small talk on the way to the airport. They had next weekend off for Thanksgiving, and Nate’s parents were coming to town. Aubrey, being of the (wrong) opinion that Thanksgiving was an October holiday, was considering spending five days in Hawaii.
Nate wondered if he’d find someone to enjoy it with.
That took some of the fun out of his morning. Nate didn’t like to think of himself as selfish, but if Aubrey was going to have sex, he should have it with Nate, who had years of near chastity to make up for.
“Maybe I’ll go visit my parents at Christmas,” Aubrey said with a shrug, sounding like he’d rather rip out his fingernails with pliers.
That derailed Nate’s jealousy spiral. “You really don’t get along with them, huh?”
“It’s less that we don’t get along and more that we’re locked in a continuous cycle of mutual disappointment.” He turned away from the window and put his empty coffee can in the trash bag on the back of the seat. “They wanted a son who would take over the business, or at least one who’d have a family they could leave the business to. I wanted parents who cared about me more than building their empire.”
Suddenly so many things about Aubrey made sense. “I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be. I mean, I’m lucky. My parents love me. They’re not homophobic. I never went to bed hungry or whatever. They supported me when I wanted to be a figure skater. I had every advantage in life.”
Not every one, Nate thought, reminiscing on his own childhood. He’d always felt close with his family. “I had a typical hockey mom,” he offered, feeling the need to reciprocate somehow. “She used to get a part-time job whenever school was in to pay for all the hockey sticks, ’cause I kept breaking them. She never said that was why she did it, but I knew.”
Aubrey looked away from the window and favored him with a soft smile. “She must be proud of you.”
Nate swallowed. “I think so.” Then he shook his head as another memory hit him. “Tell you what, though, it wasn’t all smooth sailing. I thought she was going to hit the roof the day she caught me with my hand down Danny’s pants.”
Aubrey raised an eyebrow, that soft expression sharpening into amusement. “Oh?”
“I was fourteen. I wasn’t out. I mean, I wasn’t actively hiding it—at least not very well—”
Aubrey laughed, and Nate did too. Nate’s idea of not actively hiding it and Aubrey’s were probably a little different.
“—but I hadn’t told my parents. Mom was… surprised. Good, though. I think it would’ve been worse if I was caught with a girl. At least with Danny, neither of us could get pregnant.”
“Can’t jeopardize that budding NHL career.” Aubrey shook his head. “Though I guess being gay is its own kind of jeopardy. Probably not as much as a baby at fourteen.”
“That would’ve been a real nightmare.” Nate leaned his head back against the seat and closed his eyes. There was traffic on the way to O’Hare. Well, it was Chicago; there was always traffic.
“Did you want kids?” Aubrey asked suddenly, and Nate’s eyes snapped open again. “Or I mean, maybe you still do. Still don’t?”
Aubrey could really put his foot in his mouth when he put his mind to it. Among other things. “I always did. Marty and I planned on it, you know, in that vague ‘after retirement’ way.”
“Not just because it’s what hockey players do?”
