Page 76 of Hate So Deep
My steps slow when I find Lauren standing where I left her, staring at the floor. Her shoulders tremble under the weight of what we just did or maybe the words we exchanged after.
I don’t know but I feel as though I’m missing something when she glances up and over before her gaze hardens when she spies Kayla beside me.
“Why did you really bring me into this shit, Dirk?” Kayla asks and I grab her arm before pushing her down the hall.
When we reach the thankfully empty lobby, she wrenches away as I say, “Fun, Kayla. Remember that? Or are you suffering from fucking amnesia?”
Her cheeks heat and she looks away but after a moment she turns to me and says, “You’re so fucking stupid, Dirk. Girls don’t do shit for fun and if that’s what you’ve convinced yourself all these years, then you're the asshole.”
“Really?” I sneer. “I didn’t fucking lie. It’s not my fault you didn’t believe me.”
“No,” she says, cocking her head, “but you lied just the same. I’m not here for “fun” am I? I’m here because of her.”
She waves behind her, and I lock my jaw because I’m not about to admit that I welcomed the buffer when Kayla reached out. I guess I don’t have to though because she shakes her head and says, “You’re a fucking liar, Dirk. You’re lying to her. You’re lying to me. You’re lying to your-fucking-self.”
She walks away before I can respond, which is just as well because despite everything, my veins burn to go back and check on Lauren.
Did I push her too far?
Fuck me.
Either way, I have no intention of leaving her stranded here but when I step into the empty room, she’s gone and there’s fuck all I can do about it.
Chapter 30
NOW
Dirk
There were times in the past when standing within these four walls made my skin crawl. It’s no different now as I pass the faded blue couch I used to hide behind when I was a child.
The hardwood floors still creak under my boots as I ascend the stairs. The hole in the wall, put there by a weak man with a diabolical mind, remains at the top just beyond the railing.
The door to my room is closed and I ease my way inside before closing it behind me.
It would seem that no one has been here since I left, which is good for me because it’s easy to find what I’m looking for.
After grabbing an old ratty backpack from the closet, I shove a few shirts and a jacket inside before opening the bottom drawer of my dresser.
This is where I stashed all the things I thought to be valuable over the years.
Rummaging through the shit, I pass over an old key to the first piece of shit car I ever owned, a marble I found when I was a stupid kid and presented to my mom with a proud smile.
Underneath the random coins, a pocketknife and a picture of my mom that I set aside, I find the small box I’m looking for.
Within is the purple heart awarded to my grandfather for his bravery overseas when he saved three of his fellow soldiers but stepped on a mine for his efforts.
Although he lived to tell the tale, per my mom, he was never the same after.
My memories of the man were less than poetic. He may have been a hero, but he was also an asshole.
However, when he gave me this damn medal, he said: A man does what he has to do, Dirk. You understand?
At the time, I didn’t but over the years, I’ve come to see what he meant. It may not always be the right decision but if it has to be done, it’s up to me to do it.
Beneath the faux velvet layer the medal is laying on, I remove what I came here for and stuff the key in my pocket before moving further down the hall.
Although I came back for Colt and Finn, I can’t leave without seeing my brother.
