Page 56 of Hate So Deep

Font Size:

Page 56 of Hate So Deep

“Oh,” I mumble, shrugging casually even though panic presses at my chest like a lead weight but I can’t exactly express the fear bulldozing through my brain.

It may have been brief, like a fucking mirage in the desert but Dirk gave me something no other person ever has…he gave me hope and the small burning flame that I refused to acknowledge has now turned to ash.

I’ve never felt so fucking alone.

Mentally groaning, I grab the drink Ramie hands me, staring blankly at the cup while she sings, “Hey, Lala.”

I can feel Colt’s stare boring into the side of my face, while Finn giggles from her perch on the couch and Ramie’s lips curl into a wicked smile.

“Yeah?” I mumble.

“I got a friend I wanna hook you up with,” she says and this time it’s Dirk who whips around.

While I appreciate what I think Ramie is doing, although I’m bewildered that she is, I’m not sure I’m in the headspace to play this game.

Still, I can’t just ignore her and frankly it’s a fine distraction from the other shit going on in my life which is why I ask, “Who?”

“He’s super-hot,” she says, waving her hand at Hayden when he stands from where he was leaning against the sofa. “Not as hot as you, babe.”

With a smirk, he leans over the couch, pulling her head back and I avert my gaze because the man is seriously gorgeous and the simple act of pressing a kiss to her lips makes my throat burn.

When my cheek tingles, I meet Dirk’s dark frown as Ramie continues, “So, like…hot. You in?”

I expect nothing less when Dirk’s eyes slide away and covering my hurt with a smile, I shrug and say, “Why not?”

After dropping beside Finn, I sip my drink while Dirk and Colt sit on the opposite couch and Hayden jumps over the back of ours before snuggling with Ramie at the end.

It’s so freaking cute that once again, I look away as Finn says, “By the way, you asshole. Why didn’t you say anything?”

The asshole in question is apparently Dirk and he raises a brow.

To my surprise, I’ve finished my drink, and I take the new one Ramie offers with a wink as Dirk says, “About what?”

“Kayla. Is it serious?” Finn snaps.

Although intensely curious to hear the answer, I turn to Ramie and say, “So, tell me about this hottie.”

She taps my hand while Dirk mutters, “It’s…whatever.”

That’s not exactly a ringing endorsement but what does it mean?

“You’re about to go off and play war,” Finn says. “Then Kayla pops up out of the blue. What’s the deal? You gonna marry her?”

Dirk spits his beer across the table and proceeds to cough as Colt says, “Huh?”

Looking away, I study the picture on the wall, an older shot of Celia with Colt and Cat while Dirk wheezes, “Uh, what?”

My cold fingers warm when Ramie takes my hand and I smile at her sideways as Finn says, “You should have fucking told us, ass.”

“Uh, nothing’s been decided,” he rasps.

When Finn’s eyes slide to mine, I shrivel in my seat.

I can’t move. I can’t breathe.

I…

He’s not going to pick me…ever and even though I’ve been telling myself this for months, it still burns as I move to the edge of my seat.