Page 33 of Hate So Deep
You would think my subconscious is trying to trap me, but if things turn out the way I planned, nothing and no one can stop me from blowing this town, not even the sexy little siren in the sleek black dress who was eyeing Hayden fucking Franks like candy.
It shouldn’t burn but it does. I knew before she ever opened those siren lips that she was trouble, yet, here I am, staring after her with a goddamn scowl.
I played this game once before and it wasn’t pretty. Girls like Lauren don’t live in the real world.
Ten years from now, Lauren won’t remember who I am, and I’ll be far the fuck away from here.
I’ve already done more than I should and I’m the last person who should be intervening. I hated seeing that lush bottom lip wobble though.
Either way, Lauren Stark is a good girl with a penchant for dirty and moving forward, it won’t be me who slakes that need. I should have left her at that table, and I can’t take it back but goddamn I need to figure out how to stop doing this shit moving forward.
There’s too much at fucking stake and if she so much as sniffs out a reason to be suspicious, I’m screwed.
“Thirsty?” Kayla purrs, licking her red lips and I eye her with a frown.
It was a mistake to open this door with Kayla because it’ll be hard to close now. We fuck now and then but I’ve always kept my distance because I know what I want, and it isn’t her or anything else in this fucking town.
However, hopefully, along with my words, spoken in a carefully careless tone, Kayla’s presence pushed Lauren away forgood. I may have retired the game but I’m willing to revisit the plays if it means Lauren will back the fuck off because every time I look at her my resolve softens.
For whatever fucking reason, I crave her warmth, even knowing that she’s a cold ass, stuck up, sassy wench.
Fuck me.
Despite the ashy taste it left on my tongue, I know what I have to do, which means Kayla is going to have her fun before I break it off.
Do I feel bad about it? Fuck, no.
Kayla knows the game. She participated in it. Back then, we were a bunch of stupid fucks who felt powerful for the first time in our useless lives. Fucking with girls like Lauren became my favorite pastime and I craved the feeling until even that didn’t bring me anything but a numb acceptance.
After all, watching these girls succumb to the sickness only further left a sour taste in my mouth.
Kayla enjoyed the chase just as much as I did because she hated the richies, for reasons that I’ve never asked. She’s too smart not to see the writing on the wall and if this inspires Lauren to walk away with a giant stick up her ass, then maybe now, when I see my dirty, little doll, I won’t have to worry about fucking her and she won’t look at me with those wide green eyes, begging me to do just that.
Lauren
Back at my house, I search the rooms for my mom and I’m at the point of giving up when I pause by the door that leads into the basement, finding it ajar.
“Mom?” I say, peering down the stairs.
The dim glow of the light at the bottom inspires me to step down where I find her standing by the back wall, staring into the darkness.
“Mom?” I whisper and she stiffens. “Are you okay?”
Silence stretches between us, and I shift uncomfortably until she says, “I almost aborted you, you know.”
Uh…what?
Speechless, I stand frozen as she steps further into the darkness, scratches her head, and says, “I didn’t tell your father for two months. Why bother? He made his choice even then. It was your grandfather who talked me out of it.”
“Oh?” I croak. I mean what else can I possibly say? Gee, that’s neat…
Her sigh flows over my skin like razors before she mumbles, “He was convinced you were a boy. Senile old fool.”
At that, she brushes past me like I don’t fucking exist, and I guess I don’t because I’m not Buck or the boy she hoped I might be.
Once she’s gone, I step into the spot she vacated, foolishly hoping that somehow taking her place might shed light on her vindictive words.
Nothing comes through though and rubbing away the ache in my chest, I glance down, confused to find a giant stack of boxes on the floor.
