Page 139 of Hate So Deep
When I’m not sunk in guilt over the fact that my feelings for Dirk remain as passionate as before despite his confession, I’m also praying that in the end, Dirk survives the consequences.
Does that make me a shitty person? I quite simply don’t know. My relationship with Buck was complicated, that’s for sure but what it wasn’t, was loving or reciprocal in any fashion.
Buck wasn’t a nice human being. He killed his girlfriend. He conspired with my mother to frame me for the murder, even going so far as to accept drugging me as the only way to do it.
These aren’t the qualities of a brother that I can admire. However, in the quieter moments when it’s just me and my thoughts, I also mourn the brother that could never be.
They say love is blind and I concur because Dirk may never truly love me, but I do him and all I want is for him to get through this legal process and come out the other side a free man, whether that freedom includes me or not.
Since everyone still refuses to speak to me about the whole damn thing, I remain in the dark, but I have hope even if most days, it’s buried beneath the weight of my sorrow.
Now, I have to suck it up and spend the weekend pretending I’m not as broken as I feel on any given day. I know that if I don’t, my dad will suggest counseling again and I’m not prepared to go down that road either.
I don’t want to speak of the atrocities committed by my mother and brother. I just want to look Dirk in the eyes and see the same emotion I feel, shining back at me.
This is after I punch him in the dick, of course, for torturing the shit out of me.
The resort Dad chose sits on a cliff overlooking a huge lake. The crystalline water sparkles in the oncoming dusk as I exit my car and adjust the hem of my little black dress. I chose four-inch heels in the hopes of infusing something other than despair in my life and I regret it as soon as my feet hit the pavement.
When a sweet breeze blows across my arms, I exhale and make my way up the sidewalk toward the main entrance.
The music from the restaurant where we will be dining flows out of the floor to ceiling glass doors, standing open beyond the terrace.
It’s quite busy already but that doesn’t stop me from finding the man, standing at the railing, unerringly in the crowd.
My heart skips a beat at the sight and reminiscent of the last time I laid eyes on the jerk, I follow the line of his arm as he drinks from the bottle in his hands, spying a new tattoo.
Licking my lips to drum up some spit, I cover my confusion with a raised brow, simultaneously ordering my burning heart to proceed with caution.
What is he doing here?
This can’t be a coincidence. Right?
Of course, his sexy lean once he’s done kills me and when his lips pull into his wickedly beautiful smirk, I can’t help but to frown.
Is this a fucking game to him?
Asshole.
Ignoring the zing that cascades through my limbs when I lean against the railing beside him, I mutter, “Thirsty?”
Those gorgeous dark eyes drop to my dress, taking in the sweetheart neckline and the swell of my cleavage before roving over my stomach, down my legs and back.
When he licks his lips, I bite my own because fuck me, I will not let him see what he does to me.
“Always,” he breathes before chucking the half full bottle into the bin beside him.
Huh?
It’s all I have time to think before he wraps his hand around my neck and pulls me close, his mouth dropping over mine.
My traitorous heart thumps heavily at the sweet caress but it’s over before it starts when he breaks the kiss to grab my hand.
We’re halfway through the lobby of the hotel when I break from my stupor and tug on his arm, asking, “Where are we going?”
What the hell is going on?
“It’s just through here, baby girl,” he rasps as we step through the doors on the opposite side and proceed down a path leading to a series of bungalows.
