Page 126 of Hate So Deep
Dirk
I feel no satisfaction for the words I threw at Lauren on the way to see her mother, but it worked. She was spitting fire when she marched inside her childhood home.
Unfortunately, when she emerged, she was back to the defeated girl I loathe to see.
It took everything in me not to pull her into my arms but the farther into this that we go the closer I am to wanting something that I cannot have.
I saw the hope burning in her eyes when I finally confessed to Colt what we did, and it fucking killed me because Iamleaving and that’s a fact.
I’m doing her a favor whether she realizes it or not, although my soul burns knowing that I cut her down right before her mother did the same.
I’m an asshole, it’s true but it brings me no peace to do these things.
After dropping her at home, I head across town. Although I finally told Colt the truth about us, and that’s a relief that I can’t really define, there's still more to this story and until I figure it out and see it to the end, I can’t leave.
This means that I’ve been cruising through town and speaking to everyone I know not only about Buck but about Aimee and even Lauren.
Unfortunately, this is going to eventually lead back to the cops, but I guess it’s the price that I’m going to pay for trying to find the answers.
After the altercation with Colt, he hasn’t really spoken to me again, but I know that it’s coming, and I will have to reveal part of those truths, even if it doesn’t include the depth of the feeling that I have for his sister.
In that respect I’m going to lie because it’s the only way, at least that’s what I’m telling myself.
Chapter 46
NOW
Lauren
The following morning, I’m picking at my breakfast when Dad appears at the threshold of the dining room.
When I meet his solemn gaze, I drop my fork to my plate, dread suffusing my bones.
This is it. Am I ready to go to jail?
“Sweetheart,” he says and then his shoulders fall, just as Celia appears from the kitchen.
“What is it?” she asks.
Since the fiasco with the police, I’ve been spared the specter of going to school. Cat left fifteen minutes ago, and Dad should be on his way to work.
“I received a call from Jones,” he says. “They plan to arrest you. If we go down there willingly, it will be better.”
Better for whom?
Numbly, I push back from the table mumbling, “I just need to brush my teeth.”
I mean, fresh breath while you’re in jail must be a priority. Right?
“I know this is scary, sweetheart but as soon as we figure out bail, I’ll get you out. I promise,” Dad says.
Bail? Is this really happening to me?
To my surprise, when I stop in the kitchen after changing and cleaning up, I find Colt and Finn sitting at the table.
Colt looks up and I eye his frown while Finn stands and walks around the table.
With tears in her eyes, she wraps me up in a hug and says, “I’m so sorry, Lala.”
