Page 57 of Doll's Eye
Truth is, Alessia eats most men alive. I know I’m the only man to be able to go head-to-head with her and manage to keep mine. Sure, a man would have to be blind not to find her drop-dead gorgeous, but she’s too much woman for average men.
My father once told me that women can only weaken you, but she drives my ambition. Makes me see clearer even when she makes it hard to even breathe around her.
She’s majestic as she holds her head high and makes her way around the room, being sure to talk to everyone who came. She excels with diplomacy when her temper is in control. Poised and cogent. Hiding behind her resplendent veneer of an innocuous woman as if she couldn’t even hurt a fly.
I clear my throat. “How’s your mother?” I mutter lowly. Small talk isn’t exactly part of my nature, and I know it isn’t for Santino either.
He sighs and rubs at his knee. “Confused, devastated, lost…”
The words are accurate to the way I would feel losing Alessia. I couldn’t imagine it, especially after decades and several children later.
With her amicable smile firmly in place, Alessia politely says her goodbyes to those leaving. Family from Italy flew in and arestaying here for a few days, which has occupied her more lately, and she continues to use that too as a distraction.
Once she tends to her mother and shows some relatives back to their rooms, ensuring they are well-fed and have everything they need, she starts whirling around the place to clean.
“Cara, let the maids do this. Let’s get you into a hot bath.” I spin her to face me.
“I—” I observe her face run through several emotions. She’s so used to fighting when someone tries to tell her what to do. “Okay.” She finally deflates in defeat.
We head up to her old bedroom, where we’ll stay for the night. I’m not sure if her brothers were so quick to grant me pardon for Alessia’s sake, or if they’re too burdened at the moment to hold a grudge, but they let bygones be bygones. They accepted me at Alessia’s side for the funeral and welcomed me into their home.
“Can I pour you a drink,mia amata?”My love. I offer as soon as we’re closed inside the room.
Turning into me, she wraps herself around my torso. Her nose buries into my chest to breathe me in. “Thank you for being so wonderful, Massimo.”
I smile as I hug her back. “Wonderful. Never thought someone would ever refer to me as wonderful.”
“Well, you are.” Her gold eyes sparkle as she props her chin up on my chest. “To me, that is.”
“I’ll make you a drink and draw you a bath.” I press my lips to her forehead.
“You meanusa bath?” she says smiling.
“If that’s what you want.” I kiss her again, then peel myself away from her.
Ten minutes later, we’re together in the lavish bathtub with the jets going and her resting between my legs. She had tied her hair up on top of her head, and there are little dark ringlets at her neck from the heat from the water. Her perky breasts arepeeking out of the water’s surface, and I’m hungry for her, but I restrain myself out of respect.
“I think I’m in shock,” she says after a while. “Or I’m heartless.”
“You are not heartless.” I kiss the side of her head.
“You sure about that?” She pauses. “At first, I was just trying to be brave. For Gemma. But then I wanted to cry…but I couldn’t. Ican’t.” She tilts her face up to me, not shielding her vulnerability from me. “I want to cry, Massimo. I want to get it all out. I feel like it’s all trapped inside of me, festering and burning, spreading. But it won’t come out.” Her eyes glaze over.
“With me, you can let go, Alessia. Crying will not make you weak.”
“How?”
“Running from your feelings is a weakness. Confronting what weakens you will only strengthen you.”
“Crying feels weak.” Her voice is so tiny. I wish I could absorb the grief for her.
“I know.” I drag my fingertips down the side of her gorgeous face tenderly. “But you have to get it out. Otherwise, it will take over and consume you. Drain you. Reduce you down to a weaker self.”
“I can’t,” she chokes out and closes her eyes. Her beautiful body quivers against me, so I tighten my arms around her. “I want to, but I can’t.”
“Take your time, baby. Take all the time you need.” I press my lips to her cheek. “I’ll be here the entire way, and no matter what, I know your strength. It’s okay to show me your weakness.”
Her eyelashes flutter as she opens her eyes. “Is it?”
