Page 5 of Doll's Eye
I frown at him.
“I was the one who decided to call you Alessia. The defender. Do you want to know why?”
“Yes.” I am so enthralled by this piece of history that I want to sit here and make him speak for hours. Give me every single detail of those first few days I was alive.
“Since the day you were born, you would find a way to comfort your sister when she’d cry.”
“Mamma said I hardly ever cried.” I smile a little.
“That’s because your sister would, and it seemed like you were always trying to be strong for the both of you. Be her defender. I saw your strength from those first moments, mypiccolina. I am gentler with Gemma because she needs it. I could have sent you away to college, but I know where you would always want to be, where your heart will always be. Your mother and I have alwayswanted to shelter our girls from this life, but I don’t think that is possible with you. And as for affection.” He scoots in closer and wraps an arm tightly around my shoulders, squeezing me, making me grin like the little girl he somehow always makes me feel like. “You should know why I do not shower you with affection like I do her.”
“The same reason you don’t with the boys?”
“To make sure you are prepared for this life, I mustn’t be soft with you all. It does kill me to withhold my love from my children, you must know that. To refrain from hugging you when I feel the urge. To restrain myself from comforting you when you need it. But it has to be one way or the other. I cannot give you both, and if I was wrong to think this is what you have always wanted, then I am terribly sorry for that.”
I’m the one who has had it wrong for all these years. So very wrong. My father was trying to find that balance between being a father and being a boss with me. It’s easier to do so with my brothers since he was raised in the same fashion, but women don’t typically want to be included like I do.
“You weren’t at all wrong,Babbo. My life is being a Bonetti, and a part of its legacy.”
He gets this beamish smile on his face and kisses my cheek. “That’s my girl.Ti amo, mia piccola guerriera.”I love you, my little warrior. “Massimo will be good to you. He gives me his word. But if he isn’t, you do not hesitate to tell me.”
“I can take care of myself.”
“That I know you can, but I will always be your father. I would never forgive myself if I married you to a monster. So, you must promise me if he tries to hurt you.”
“I will tell you if there is something I cannot handle,Babbo. I promise.”
Chapter three
Alessia
Once I told Gemma the news, she insisted on flying home the very next morning.
She’s appalled at the prospect of me marrying Massimo De Luca and thinks of me as some victim being forced into this no matter what I tell her, and when Gemma gets like this, it’s hard to get through to her. So, I called in our cousin Fia, who is our best friend, for reinforcement.
As soon as my sister walked into the door this morning, there was yelling and screaming in rapid Italian between all of us. Tullio is the only one out of my siblings who isn’t upset with the arrangement because he knows damn well I would speak up if I were not on board. I’ve never been one to keep my thoughts and opinions to myself, especially if I am unhappy about something.
The rest of my brothers are riotous over Massimo's being much older than me. He isn’t wrinkling, and yes, he’s technically old enough to be my father, but he can’t be more than thirty-nine years old. The men are to marry by forty, and my brothersseem to miss the fact that I am a woman. One beyond my chronological years.
Mamma was just as upset as Gemma and tried to talk me out of it until late in the night last night, but she, too, knows me well. She knows that I cannot and will not be forced into something I did not want to do or forced out of it. And if I have my mind set on something, then that’s it. It’s done, and no one can stop me or change my mind. I’m always more willing to learn the hard way if necessary.
Looking around at my family arguing about me and my future, I’ve had just about enough of it.
Heading over to a chair, I stand up on it and open my lungs. “É abbastanza!”That’s enough! The whole room falls silent and turns to me. “Mia famiglia.”My family. “I was a part of this decision, and I agreed to it knowing exactly what I was agreeing to.” Armando and Paolo open their mouths to protest. “Sta’ zitto!”Be quiet! “I am not a child. I’m a woman, and I will do what is expected of me just as is expected of each and every one of you. When you are called to step up, do you not? Now, it’s my turn. I will marry Massimo De Luca, strengthening us as a whole.” Paolo and Gemma now look sheepish, but Santino and Armando still look upset.
Tullio remains reticent, most likely blaming himself for this. If he went through with the original arrangement, I would not be asked to do this. But I am not upset about this, nor am I with him. I’m elated to finally be able to step up and show my importance. To not only marry into another eminent family, but to someone who will become a capo.
Gemma and I finally head up to my room to be alone as Fia follows us. “Well, that was entertaining,” Fia muses as she plops down on my bed.
My sister remains meek as we both climb up to join her. “Gemma, I promise it’s okay.”
“How? How can you be okay with this? You’re being forced to marry Massimo De Luca. He’s…he’s…”
“Scary as fuck?” Fia fills in for her.
“Yes! Scary as fuck!” My eyes widen in faint shock at the profanity she never uses. “You’ve heard what they say about him!Ieven hear what they say, and you know I stay out of that business. But people still talk. He like…ties up women and beats them!”
Fia giggles as I roll my eyes at her dramatics. “He doesn’t beat them, Gem. It’s called BDSM.”
