“It’s nothing. I got Viv, she is all the lovin’ I need.” I hum, letting my head fall back. “Really though, it’s just exhausting out there. It’s either pigs who commit borderline assault, or they get so attached they cling to me. I just want something easy, no strings, but with a good dicking.” That gets me a string of giggles, but the ghost of Caleb’s words hit me out of nowhere:You know I can give you everything you need, without the strings. So why won’t you let me?
He could, too, I have experienced firsthand the kind of orgasms Caleb Smith can dish out…I just can’t work out why I am hesitating.
“Any New York boys catch your fancy, Stells?” I ask to get the spotlight off me.
“Oh, I’m off men. For at least the next century.”
“Oh, batting for the other team?” Addison wiggles her eyebrows.
“Ha! If only. Women would be less complex.” She huffs.
“I don’t know about that. I’m bat shit crazy,” I say through a mouthful of wine. “And then there is Addison.”
“Hey! I’m an angel.”
“Or are you the devil? Walls are thin, babe. You have no idea how happy I am to have this apartment to myself now.” I roll my eyes as she and Casey descend into giggles.
“Yeah, what was that like? Both your best friends getting railed a couple doors down. That would be depressing,” Stella queries, like she is actually interested.
“Weird dynamic for sure, not depressing though…just kind of…gross.”
“Hey, we make love, there is nothing gross about that,” Casey scolds me, and thankfully we are interrupted by the buzz of the oven, and she gets up to sort it out.
“Anyway, men rule much of the world, let’s not give them the one girls’ night we have. Stells?—”
“Knew this was coming.” She grimaces and buries herself further into the couch.
“Hear me out, you can’t blame me for being curious. You kind of came out of nowhere. Ilovehaving you around, it feels like you balance us out.” I gesture to sunshine Casey and crazy-rage-girl Addison, then myself, the obvious queen of our group. “I just want to know more about you. You certainly have the guys scared within an inch of their life.”
She hums a low laugh before she sits up. “They are a good bunch of guys. That’s hard to find. You girls are really lucky.” Well…that was surprisingly sincere. Stella looks at the three of us as we freeze in our spots, not really sure what to do with that.
Casey, of course, is the first to break the weird silence. “They are fab. Annoying and impossibly protective.” She gives Addison a look, who raises her glass in agreement. “But they are great. You and Lucas are close?”
“Yeah, he’s been amazing since I moved here. Gave me a shot at the bar…well, thanks to you, Addy.” Both the emotionallychallenged weirdos smile awkwardly and drink their wine. It makes me chuckle.
“This is so weird, can you just tell us something super bizarre so we can gawk for a few minutes and then move on to cooler topics?” Addison sits up straighter, ready for a story.
Stella twirls her long black ponytail around her hand a couple times before huffing a huge breath, making quick eye contact with the three of us as Casey brings down the tray of warmed pasta and four bowls. “Okay, well, I…” She clears her throat.
Casey leans forward and rests a hand on her thigh. “You don’t have to tell us anything if you’re not comfortable, Stella.”
“We aren’t going anywhere though, if you do need someone to talk to,” Addison chimes in.
“What they said, but also, I really want the details.” Addy and Casey hit me with matching looks of exasperation. “What, I’m not going to lie, how does that build trust?”
That seems to loosen Stella up a bit. She chuckles, looking up to the ceiling and then back to us. “Umm…okay, well, I’ve been alone for a while. I came from a small town with a lot of nothing and nobodies. This dynamic”—she gestures to us—“is new to me, and I’m not a trusting person. I’ve never really had girlfriends—or friends of any kind. A girl has to keep her secrets, something has to fuel our power, right?” She bites on her lip, avoiding eye contact, but the three of us seem to be on the same wavelength, not wanting to say anything that might interrupt her. It doesn’t do us much good. Stella wasn’t joking about keeping her secrets. “This…it’s nice. I’m grateful to you girls for the friendship but also the…security.” It wasn’t scandalous or heavily detailed by any means, but from the way her shoulders droop and she avoids eye contact, from the way her knee bounces and she plays with her fingernails, for whatever reason, that was hard enough for her to admit.
“You plan on staying at Bozzelli’s?” I query.
“It’s good for me, for right now. It’s stable and I work with a lot of people…goodpeople. Plus, it feels…safe, you know? Security, there’s, like, cameras, or whatever. And Lucas”—she waves a hand like it’s self-explanatory—“he’s, like, a tatted-up doberman in human form.”
“Facts,” Addison and Casey agree.
“Yeah, but with the mind of a child,” I counter.
“Most men have the mind of a child.” Addison chuckles.
“Yeah, but you should see him when he walks into the bar with his freaking bike helmet on.” Stella fans her face.
