“Well, for the sake of sounding like a broken record, I want to fuck you.”This again.
“Ugh, man, I was just starting to enjoy your company.” I go to push up from the ground to put some space between us, but as I stand, he rises to his knees and grips my wrist to pull me to him. I tumble and land in his lap. “What are you doing?” I grumble.
“Stop. Juststopfor a second.” He almost sounds mad. “I respect your rule to not repeat. Losers get attached, and it’s too much energy and drama to have to let them down all the time. But we just established we’re both incapable of forming feelings for the other. So, if feelings aren’t a risk, and our chemistry is hot enough to light a city on fire, what’s stopping you?”Goddamnit, that is a good question.
His grip on my wrist moves to my waist, and for whatever god-awful reason, my body lets him readjust me so I’m straddling him. His grip moves from my hips to my waist, up my back and down again, my breath slowly increasing to a pant. One hand leaves my lower back to delicately comb through my hair, gripping my curls at the base of my neck where he pulls, and I gasp. He takes liberty on the moment of control I give over, angling my head so his lips hover just above mine. Those deep blue, almost-purple eyes are lust filled and hooded.
“You know I can give you everything you need, without the strings. So why won’t you let me?”
I raise my palms to his chest and push firmly so his back hits the floor, giving a slight rotation of my hips, a smile forming across my lips.
“Don’t go getting big and important in your head, hotshot,” I tease and let the words I want to say tumble around in my head, testing them, fighting over their bitterness and the unusual way they feel so right in this moment.Am I doing this?Am I really about to break one of my rules…for…him?
I search his eyes, there is so much sex-filled desire in them but also something else, something I cannot for the life of me pin down, and damn him to hell, I want to know how depraved and deranged I can have him.
Fine.
I concede.
“If we do this,” I whisper, “it stays between us.” A saccharine smile spreads slowly across his face. “All those wretched feelings and emotions stay at the door. You’re little more than a sex toy, and I yours. We are not exclusive. We are not besties, and we owe each other nothing, got it?”
“Jesus Christ,yes,” he breathes, and I can feel him hardening under my lap, causing need to pool between my legs. “Use me. Play with me. But don’t fall in love with me,” I whisper.
“Deal.”
It’s too easy, I can feel the control slipping…my heart races, the blood rushing through me, and a heaviness forms deep in my stomach.
“Good.” I almost growl as I slam my lips on his and his hands grip my face, immediately deepening the kiss. As though I weigh nothing, he stands and my legs wrap around his waist as he takes a few quick strides to the nearest wall and slams my back against it, his tongue dancing with mine in a kiss that is desperate and intense. His taste is bitter from his beer and sweet from the dessert, the perfect mix that brings me enough clarity, I pushhim off me and jump down. “Glad we’re on the same page.” I pat his chest and turn for the kitchen, fighting against my inner woman who just wants to shed clothes and have her way.
“What…” he pants, trying to catch his breath, following behind me. “What are you doing?” He crowds me, his warmth at my back as I stand at the counter. I can feel him close enough that if I let myself seek him out, I’d simply fall against him and he’d be there.
“I’m getting ready for bed, what are you doing?” I turn and smile innocently up at him. Power, I need to remain in power, I can’t give up control.
“Guess I am too.” His sly smirk has me laughing.
“Oh…pest, not tonight.” I give a faux yawn, patting him on the chest again, feeling the reverberations of his rapid heartbeat under his shirt. “I’m beat. Another time though. I’ll text you.”
“Wait a minute,” he whispers as I turn and head for my room, still needing to put distance between us that he keeps trying to close. “You just said?—”
“I know, and I meant it. But I’ll be the one to tell you when and where.” I let my perusal linger on his lips before meeting his eyes with a deliberate smile. “Night, hotshot. You can see yourself out.” When I make it back to my room, he stands at the end of the hallway, staring right through me like I’m prey caught in his trap.
“So, what? I’m just your dirty little secret now?” His voice has dropped to a dangerous octave that sends shivers across my whole body.
“Glad you can keep up.” I close the door on him. After a few tense minutes I hear the front door to the apartment close, and I quickly dart out to lock it before returning to my room, closing the door, and collapsing against it.
My fingers reach up to trail across my lips, remembering the searing heat of his on mine. The way he kisses is so differentto any other kiss I’ve had and I can’t work out why. The way my body hums with desperation for him is borderline pathetic, and God am I glad I kicked him out. Now I have to work out how to have casual sex on the regular…with the same guy…while keeping everything real about me hidden. All the dark and yucky parts that make people run and hide.
Why do I care what he thinks?I don’t, obviously. I don’t care.
Right?
CHAPTER 10
all little bitches need a collar
Caleb
“Kyla, Jeremy, you finish on the Baker account?”
