I feel her shift, draping an arm over my shoulders as she smiles down at me. The man offers his departing words, “Eres un hombre afortunado,” before disappearing.
“What’d he say?”
“You being lucky and all that.” She rolls her eyes when my smile grows.
“Well, can’t argue with that.”
“No?” She raises a brow at me.
I shake my head, my smile not dropping an inch. “I’ve got the prettiest girl in my lap, and I know you don’t want to label it…” I let my voice drop into a whisper, and with my hand on her cheek, I pull her a little closer, letting my thumb swipe across her soft skin. “But right now, you really feel like mine.” And I know with certainty that I am completely hers. Everything I feel for Rosie Garcia is all-consuming. You could rip open my chest, and there on my heart, it would readProperty of Rosie—she had all of it. I’m not sorry about it either.
When I look into her swirling brown eyes, I see her smile, but it’s guarded. Her lips part and I watch a million emotions flood her face, each one gone too quickly. But the pucker of her brows and the tight-lipped smile on her face, it’s like a punch to the lungs when I realize what emotion she lands on: guilt.
I don’t get to push her on it, though, because she closes the distance and kisses me. I can’t help but deepen the kiss, my tongue slipping past her lips and tangling with hers as she softly sighs and relaxes against me. I know I should try harder to break down her walls. That I should be working on getting her to let me in instead of accepting her guarded smiles, but her lips are on mine, and she tastes like spice and soda and my favorite flavor of all, her.
Eventually she pulls back, her forehead resting on mine. “I can’t thank you enough for today. This…this is possibly one of my favorite days. I will never forget that you did this for me, Caleb.” Her voice sounds alarmingly like an apology, but I bury the feeling. Telling myself that my reservations, my fears, are all stemming from the little voice that usually pops in to tell me that I’m not enough. And I refuse to listen to it. I refuse to let it ruin this perfect day with the perfect girl.
The words are on the tip of my tongue, the need to tell her. I’ve known for so long, been so afraid to tell her, and God, I wanther to know that she owns my heart. I want her to know. “Rosie, I—” I stutter, my eyes searching hers, and she sits a little farther back so she can really look at me, and then her brows pull down just a little more, her guilt turning into something like worry. “I…I lo?—”
“No,” she whispers, her hand reaching up and covering my mouth. We both sit there startled for a moment, her eyes blown wide, mine the same. My heart goes still in my chest, shocked at her response. “We can’t, Caleb,” she rushes out in a panicked whisper. “We agreed. Please…please don’t say it.” Her eyes start to look watery and it has a crack splitting down my chest.
I realize in this moment, there are other secrets she keeps buried. Secrets she’s deliberately doing her best to hide from me, and whatever they are, they are stopping us from being what I know we could be. I know that she’s the perfect woman for me. Because I can finally envision a future shared with another person. Before it was just cold walls, empty rooms, and utter silence; it now looks like full bookshelves, the scent of frustration-fueled mass cleaning, a bathroom vanity covered in a million and one products, oversized band T-shirts, late-night cereal, and movie marathons. It’s teasing, and games, and comfortable silences with her in my arms and my fingers tracing the delicate lines of her incredible body.
Iwant. I have neverwantedso badly, and it’s her.
I just needed to take the can’t for what it is.
It wasn’t no, and that’s enough…I think.
CHAPTER 36
watching my world burn
Rosie
“I’ll need a few of your signatures on a couple of press releases, it’s time.” My father spoke the words like he expected me to take them without rebuttal.
“No,” I say quietly, trying not to antagonize, but desperate to keep my life the way it is. The sharp fury of his stare flicks up to me the moment the words leave my mouth.
I’d been summoned this morning; the call was foreboding and I hadn’t known what to expect. Now I knew why he hadn’t mentioned me leaving the family lunch last weekend, because he had every intention of pulling on his puppet strings.
“This isn’t a debate, Rosita. You’re thirty in twelve months, it is time the world knows. It’s time for things to be set in motion.” It unnerves me how he hasn’t mentioned a word about how he’d single-handedly ruined my career, but between my job at the publishing firm and my…situation with Caleb, I am becoming quite desperate to continue running away from this life, no matter how inevitable I know it is.
“How is this a fair deal? I get nothing out of this. My life meansnothing.”
“You got thirty years to behave like a child. That is longer than you ever should have been allowed. It is longer than I was given. I have tolerated your childish decisions, your pointless decisions to entertain work, and spending your time with nobodies that do nothing but make it harder on yourself. I gave you what you asked for, I have been more than fair. And now, you will fulfill your end of the deal, you will do as your told and uphold your duty to this family, Rosita.” Each word is clipped and spoken specifically to be imprinted on my brain. It’s a final warning. If I refuse him, there is no telling what he will do.
But then…I think of what I’d be giving up. There is a reason I have been telling Caleb I can’t promise him a thing and this is why, but his deep blue-violet eyes come to mind, and that annoying little dimple that appears when he smiles at me, all boyish charm. And then there is the weight of his body on mine, how I feel whole when his warmth is pressed against me. I feel like I’ve finally figured out my path in life with Vixen Publishing, and all I want is to run my own life.
“I don’t want to do this,” I whisper, blinking back the wet sting in my eyes. “You can’t make me. There are laws?—”
“And they meannothingif you lose the respect and connection with your family,” he shouts back, now standing from his seat at his desk. My eyes drop to my lap, willing my body to stop its shaking. Not out of fear of him, but out of fear of losing my life, the one I’ve built and the one I wish I could escape into. He heaves a heavy sigh, like I’m an entitled princess he doesn’t know how to handle. “I never wanted it to be like this, Rosita.”Liar.“Had we had a son, perhaps this wouldn’t be an issue. But this family business needs to go somewhere when I die.”
“At the cost of my soul?” I whisper the words, unable to hide the hitch in my voice and feeling so vulnerable showing him so much weakness.
“This is a part of life. It is not so deep that it need brand your soul. We all have sacrifices we have to make, and it is time for yours. My patience has officially run dry with your childish games.” Another heavy breath leaves him as he runs a hand against his jaw, retaking his seat. It’s all I can do to keep my back straight and my chin high. “There will be a party held in two weeks to celebrate, there will be important and impressionable people there. For the sake of our legacy and our companies, I do hope you will be on your best behavior. You will also need to relocate, and now that you no longer have that ridiculous job?—”
“You mean the career you stole from me?” I seethe at him, letting the rage shine through my eyes as I stare right through him. Tears of anguish and grief fall in slow, silent drops as he meets my gaze. Not a flicker of emotion crosses his face. This isn’t a father.
