“Okay, we get it.” I grumble at her, crossing my arms over my chest as she chuckles, Addy staring at both of us with her mouth agape before it turns into a smile.
“Ruined sex?! You mean you didn’t have sex with anyone else after…for a whole fucking year? Who are you and what have you done with Rosie?” She chuckles as I throw a pillow at her.
“No, I did sleep with other people…or at least I tried. It just wasn’t…as good. Caleb…”
“You guys had a spark,” Casey provides, unhelpfully, when I don’t finish my sentence.
“I don’t know. It was just really great.” I sigh, thinking back to that first time…and, well, every other time after.
“Okay, serious question,” Casey starts, clearing her throat, her face suddenly serious, and I raise a brow at her.
Then her hands move, lifted in front of her and moving outward with a curious look on her face.
“You’re the worst.” I can’t help but laugh, because it wasn’t all that long ago I was pestering her about the same thing, and despite me shaking my head at her, she keeps going.
“Okay,thisis impossible. I’m starting again…say when.” She focuses hard on her hands. Addison and I snicker, but I decide to play. When the gap between her hands starts to resemble the length of sex pest’s magic penis, I raise a hand. “When.”
“Nice. I’m so happy for you,” Casey says as she breaks into a chuckle.
“Impressive,” Addison agrees. “I can’t wait to tease Noah about this.”
“Why, Caleb’s bigger?” I beam a menacing smile at Addison, but then her lips spread in a slow, satisfied smile, making direct eye contact, her head shaking ever so slightly in ano.
I open my mouth to unload a myriad of questions, but she chuckles and raises her hand.
“Back to you?—”
“Whyyy,” I complain, throwing my head back to the couch. “I preferred when it was about you guys.” They snicker. Those bitches.
“Look, I don’t want to freak you out with love talks, maybe it’s not that yet?—”
“It’s not love,” I interrupt, sternly making sure that point is very,veryclear.
“Okay, fine. But would it really be so bad for you to at least consider something serious? Like, with the labels. It’s not like you’re committing to forever right away. If Caleb cares about you, which, from what we saw, he does—very much.” Casey provides an unhelpful “Mm-hmm” in agreement with Addison’s ever-so-astute observations. “If he makes you as happy as you say he does, and he’s already treating you better than any man in your life, what could possibly be the issue with at least seeing where it goes?” I appreciate her gentle tone, a lot more gentle than I’ve ever been with them about boys, but I just bite my lip and look at my lap.
Because they don’t know. They don’t know why it won’t work, why I can’t be with Caleb, at least not in the way he wants us to be. They don’t know that I’m a horrible friend who keeps life-changing secrets and doesn’t deserve either of them. But I don’t even know how to begin to explain any of it. Every time I think about the conversation, it makes my stomach turn. Because they won’t understand. And then once I tell them, I’d have to tell Caleb, and the thought of doing that…
I squeeze my eyes closed as a wave of nausea rolls through me.
I’ve screwed everything up and I’m the only one who knows it.
I give them a placating smile and slightly toss my head, as if I could dislodge the fear and pain as it claws at me. “Can we do something else, I need a real distraction.”
They share a look, but then Casey, our always shining ray of sun, curls her lips into a smile. “Cake time!”
CHAPTER 34
people like us
Rosie
“Thank you for your time, Mr. Prescott. But I don’t believe we are the perfect fit.” I stand and shake the man’s hand, forcing myself to be the mature adult and not flip him the bird or toss his papers to the ground. Another meeting down the drain, another delay to the beginning of my solo career. It has been almost a whole month since I walked out the door of Andersen Schulz and Meyers, and I wasn’t anywhere closer to opening Vixen Publishing.
That’s what I decided to go with. I was going to open my own publishing house focused mainly on female romance authors, especially highlighting the voices of BIPOC authors. I wanted a safe, judgment-free, and supportive environment for these authors to reach the audiences that want to read them. I had a whole plan on how to get more indie authors out there in bigger stores, to connect them with a wider reader base so their stories could be shared. And yet, there is another man standing in my way saying,But what about hiring a CEO,because apparently me running it myself is a laughable topic. Or their response is,Only having female authors won’t sustain a company.After that hiccup, I went home and did the numbers again and confirmed that, in fact, yes, I could sustain a company with only female authors. Not that I was secluding male authors, I wasn’t at all, I was just going to work harder to promote the minority before the majority. I care that the people who are always overturned get a shot at living their dreams.
But Mr. Prescott was just another penis telling me to hire a penis to tell me what to do. I was having absolutely none of it.
The only silver lining for this day, is that it is Monday, which means the crew is getting together at Pucks. My stomach flips and I fight the smile spreading across my face as my phone buzzes in my pocket. I swipe to answer and hold it to my ear. “I’m no longer meeting with your shit finance bros, Caleb.” I grumble at him despite the stupid smile on my face.