Page 32 of Beyond Repair: Part Two
Chapter 20
Nina
Ihaven't said much in the past twenty-four hours and I'm really starting to get frustrated with myself. Even the officer who took my statement, which was literally nothing noteworthy, looked like he pitied me.
There was a shadow. Obviously I know I have neighbors, but that didn't really register until after I woke up this morning. All I knew yesterday was something felt horribly wrong and the presence stealing my sunlight felt like a threat. One I know all too well.
It felt like Mr. M was hovering over me, taunting me. Showing me he could steal the light from my life when I don't even know he's there. Trevor looked ready to kill something as I recounted a whole lot ofnothing.
Gosh...Sometimes I don't think I'm worth all the turmoil I put them through. Ridge looks like he hasn't slept in years.I can't believe I triggered him.
Mom also looks like she's seen a ghost, but it's not Mr. M...it's me. I terrified everyone yesterday, and the guilt has stolen my voice.
"Nina, you need to eat."
It's like déjà vu. Honestly, I didn't realize I was hungry until now. With a BBQ chicken wing waving in front of my nose, my stomach comes rumbling back to life.
"Put it down, then I'll eat it. Please." Apparently manners are the last thing on my mind, but there's no way I'll be eating a messy wing out of Trevor's hand.Gross.
"Fix the sassy look and I'll set it down."
Sheesh.Relaxing my features, I look up from the yummy goodness being plopped back onto my plate. Trev's eyebrows are raised in what looks like surprise, and his lips twitch with barely masked amusement.
"Thank you," I rush out and dive into my dinner.Goodness it's like waking up to the scent of, well, BBQ wings.
With only the soft sound of music playing in the kitchen, we eat our meal in silence. Actually,Ieat my meal in silence. "Why aren't you eating?" I ask, wiping my mouth and looking around at the guys.
Mom and Dad are at the store. They've taken to staying in Ridge's room again since I effed everything up again yesterday. We're all on edge considering I'm on lockdown and Mr. M is out there somewhere. He's close.
How did he find me?My thoughts jumble together and before the guys can form a response, I blurt out the realization that just shoved my starvation into hibernation. "Do you think it was that kid at the coffee shop? Maybe he posted something about seeing me, you know, as afan."
Something in me snaps when they all glance at each other. Muted Nina has left the building. "Don't do that. Don't communicate with each other like I'm some child who needs you to hide things. Or did you forget there was no hiding from him? I couldn't then and I can't now. So whatever you're about to sugarcoat...DON'T! I've known pain farfuckingworse thanwhatever words you're thinking about keeping from me! Tell me. PLEASE!"
Silence.
Then horror.
And completely suffocating guilt.
My hands fly up to my mouth as I choke on the realization of what I just said.HowI said it. Mean. Inappropriate. I cussed and accused. That's not me...
That's not me. IT CAN'T BE ME!
Don't let it be me!
Before I know it, I'm sprinting from the room like the child I accused them of treating me like. I sure as heck can't hide from my problems, but maybe if I run fast enough, I can ignore them nipping at my heels and taking chunks out of my calves.
If only.
I've had some time to calm down, curiously of the four men giving me space. They each came up to say sweet things outside my bedroom door, but they didn't ask to come in and I didn't offer. When Ridge told me through the door that Mom and Dad went home for the night and would be back tomorrow, I felt so much relief.
I've stressed them out enough.
I'm not sure what came over me down there, or at least I wasn't sure until I had an hour to be alone. And that's the thing. I don't think I've actually had alone time in weeks.
Except for the bathroom. Much to Trevor's dismay.
Even when I sit out on the front step or on the patio, they're checking on me every few minutes,andthe security cameras in my house give me the heebie jeebies.
