Page 23 of Beyond Repair: Part Two
Chapter 14
Trevor
Ihave the most amazing woman. Concussed, exhausted, scared, and straight up struggling, Nina still has the capacity to be here for us too.
I'm not stupid, well maybe Iwas, but I've now realized where I've gone wrong with Kai. Even though I never once thought Kai was below me, I still feel like shit because I made him feel that way.
If there's one thing I've learned with all the shit we've been through is feelings matter. Another thing I learned, which was when we first started hanging out with Nina a long ass time ago, is how to apologize. I don't mean just the wordsI'm sorry, but taking accountability for the shit I've done or didn't do. Neen taught me as a teenager to never apologize the wrong way. Boy was she pissed when I would sayI'm sorry if I made you feel...insert dumbass comment here. No. Just fucking apologize for your mistake.
So after everyone's gone to bed, and it's just Kai and me sitting out by the fire, I man up and take responsibility for my part in our issues. "Kai..."
My friend sighs and looks up from his laptop. I kind of feel bad for interrupting him while he's editing his newest vlog, but this is important. Only, he takes the conversation in a different direction right off the bat.
"I'm sorry for offending you, Trev. I really shouldn't have put my insecurities on you like that, especially not now." He looks ready to cry and fuck if it doesn't make me feel worse.
I lean forward and look him dead in the eyes so there's no mistaking my remorse. "Kai, I appreciate the apology for how this came about. I did feel blindsided and would have liked to know how you felt sooner. I forgive you. I have to make my own apology too."
Kai cocks his head, and I take a deep breath. Then I apologize. "I'm sorry for not taking you into account when I behave in certain ways. I understand my personality feels different to each individual and not once have I realized that these past few years as we've grown up."
And damn have we had to grow up.
"I don't think you're dumb or lesser. It's because of how highly I think of you that I so desperately want to preserve everything that makes you good and...well, fuckingepic."
Kai snorts. "You think I'm epic?"
"Fuck yeah I do." No hesitation. "A beautiful lady prompted some self-reflection yesterday and I've come to realize that there are many things I admire about all of you that I don't acknowledge enough. For that, I am sorry. My goal is never to make you question just how awesome I think you are. You're my brother in all matters that count."
"I forgive you, Trev. Thank you for that." He nods at me with a wide smile. I swear Kai has the biggest, cheesiest smile out of all of us. "We all could use some lessons in communication, huh?"
Grinning, I think of Nina's gentle reminder to consider Kai's point of view yesterday. "I think I know just the woman."
"Nina?"
My girl sits on her bench seat staring out her bedroom window. I wouldn't really be concerned about her relaxing, but the deep frown between her eyes has alarm bells going off in my head. That, and she hasn't given any indication that she's heard me.
"Baby, you good?" I touch her bare shoulder, and the small jump that follows makes me feel terrible. "Shh, it's just me."
Nina takes half a second to glance back at me. "Hi," she whispers and goes back to glaring out the window.
My fingers trail along her scarred skin. The chills that follow my touch soothe the rage that flares to life whenever I focus on her poor backside.That bastardwhippedher.
Swallowing, I sit behind Neen and draw her into my arms so her back is to my front. "What are you looking at?" I don't see anything but green grass and a setting sun.
"Swore I saw a dog," she mutters, distracted.
Interesting. "I didn't think the new neighbors had a dog though."
"Me neither."
Still, she doesn't stop searching. I’m not sure what to say so I sit with her quietly. I'd rather not leave her alone if she sees something that scares her. It would really fucking suck if the neighbors have a dog, but maybe it will help with Nina's fear. Like some sort of exposure therapy shit.
"Trev?" Nina mutters some time later.
"Yeah, baby?"
She tilts her head back and meets my curious gaze. "Can you tickle me?"
"Where?" Damn, my voice drops like five octaves with a single innocent question.
