Page 15 of Beyond Repair: Part Two
Chapter 10
Nina
"Sweetheart?"
I don't look up from the closed laptop on the bed beside me. It's been two days—maybe three, I can't remember—since I got home, and I've barely left my bedroom. Therapy, as required by my dad, has taken place with me snuggled under a pile of blankets and pillows that are barely propping me up to have a normal conversation.
"Nina, you need to eat."
"I'm okay, Dad," I mumble and let my eyelids flutter closed for a minute. No matter how much sleep I get, I can't kick this exhaustion. Whether it be my brain using all its energy to heal or the nightmares, I have no idea.
Mr. M visits me every time I lose consciousness. Each time I feel like I lose a little piece of myself all over again.
Fear shoots through my body when a hand covers my forehead. With wide eyes, I see my dad hovering over me with a concerned expression. "Are you not feeling well?"
I shrug in response. "I'm fine. I promise."
He narrows his gaze like he caught me in a lie. "If you aren't sick, then you can eat. I'll send Trevor up with your grilled cheese and fries."
My mouth waters, but my gut clenches with anxiety. I want to scarf down a hot meal so badly, but my body is acting like we need to prepare ourselves to starve again soon.
Once Mr. M catches me, I'll need to be ready to function on little to nothing.
I must have zoned out because the next thing I know, a plate is replacing my laptop in front of my nose. The scent of seasoned fries and tartar sauce has me licking my lips, but my arms feel so darn heavy.
The bed dips. "Hi, baby girl."
God. The emotion in Trevor's scratchy voice makes my bottom lip tremble.Help me, I want to yell, but my throat is closed over with so much sadness. A pained sob rips from me.I need help.
"Oh, baby," Trevor whispers thickly. He's moving before I can even register his arms moving me and him sliding behind me like he's replacing the pillows. "I'm so, so sorry, Nina. I should have come up here sooner."
I give his chest and stomach my weight without much thought. It's like second nature to depend on this man when he's near, which is why I asked my dad to ask them to give me some space. I needed time to get used to what our new normal is going to be. I'm a mess.
Curling into a ball, I tell him, "I-It's not your fault."
His arms wrap around me as he nuzzles the top of my head. "It is. I'm in charge of your health and safety."What?"No more space for you, baby. I'll help you."
Letting out a shaky breath releases weight off my chest.That's exactly what I need. "Please?" I whisper, not even feeling embarrassed about how needy I am.
I don'twantto be this low, but I am, and I'm struggling to have the energy or motivation to crawl my way out of this new ditch.
"Look at me, Nina. Please."
Doing as he asks, I tilt my head back and allow him to see just how truly lost I feel. Tingles race down my jaw to my neck as he rubs his thumb across my cheek. "I love you. I'm here for you," he promises. "You'll let me help you?"
I know Trev doesn't really mean that as a question since now that he's set his mind on building me back up, he won't stop. But still, because he's giving the illusion of a choice, I nod, partially grateful for the independence he's offering and the obvious guidance he's giving.
"Good girl."
I swear the sky opens up and lights up my soul when he praises me. The brightness of his wonderful words makes me feel giddy. "I think—I think I'm hungry."
Swallowing, I choke a little when he grins so wide his eyes crinkle. "So proud of you," he murmurs before gently pressing a kiss to my parted lips.
He maneuvers me so I'm sitting on my butt between his legs facing him. While he feeds me half my sandwich and a handful of fries, my brain feels a little jumbled from his kiss. Remembering the time he had his mouthdown theremakes me feel a little squirmy.
Between sweet words, Trevor eyes me like he knows exactly what's going through my head.If I just leaned forward, I could?—
"Baby," he rumbles gruffly. "Stop looking at my cock before he gets ideas he shouldn't."
