Maya and Erasmus. The perfect couple.
I sense how strong the invisible string connects them, putting pressure in the atmosphere. Putting pressure against me.
My heart collapses every time I see them, falling from my chest and smashing into my stomach. The sight stiffens my face and aches my eyes that want to turn away from the painful reminder of what I’ll miss.
Why couldn't Grandmother give me a soulmate? Why couldn’t Grandmother grant me the promise that I'll find true love? That I'll find someone that's meant for me just as I am for them? I want to adore someone. I want to hold someone intimately. I want to be called someone's. I want to call someone mine.
I want my life to be whole and complete, just like every soulmate bond I've seen. I want that joy. That special connection that makes birds sing and stars burn bright. That special connection makes the world seem so much more ethereal.
Cosmo created love for a reason. He gifted humans Grandmother to make the world more special. He deemed soulmates a grand enough gift to the humans who prayed and showed appreciation for his creations. He wouldn't make it a gift if it wasn't so important and valuable.
A knife twists in my heart when I remember I'll never have that. But of course, Erasmus has. He's the child that gets all of the achievements. No one worries about him because he gets everything he wants. He lives all of my dreams. It's easy for him to brush off everything because hehaseverything. I'm left with nothing.
There's not even a chance I'll find a soulmate. I'm forever soulmateless and denied Grandmother’s gift.
As people cheerfully chatter about the new couple, they smile my way. I flinch, realizing my eyes are straining, reflecting a green glow when I look at my hands.
Shit!
I hop in the backseat of the car before they can walk over. My chauffeur comes in as a buzz starts against my hands. I look down at the Invidia flowers, star shaped and in a sickly green, thorns pricking my skin as it snakes up my arms.
I should be happy for him. Not jealous. I shouldn't have to keep running whenever I see Maya.
It's childish. Yet, every time, my feet can't help but hurry me away.
“Amias?” my chauffeur asks.
“Just go.” I look down at the floor of the car, increasingly ashamed of my jealousy. My chauffeur doesn't say another word as he drives us towards home.
Chapter 6
Amias
She'll ask about last night.
I look anywhere but at Mother, taking in details of furniture instead. Tucked under the long oak wood table are six chairs carved with swirls on the edges of the back. It pairs nicely with the blood red walls adorned with paintings of knights and Grandmother.
Maybe if I pretend like she's not there, she won't bring it up.
“Wasn't it wonderful last night?” Mother croons as she snatches her next baked good to devour.
Great. There it is.
Mother sits across from me, taking a bite of a flos cruentus. Under the crystal chandelier, the melted sugar-coating glistens. The blood-like filling drips on her chin as she bites the flower shaped pastry. She tucks her long wavy hair, in a color between my sandy blonde and white, behind an ear before inspecting her ends that had dabbled in the filling.
I bite my own flos cruentus, savoring the sweet buttery pastry with its strawberry cherry filling. No other breakfast can top its flavor.
“It was fun,” I mutter.
She brushes her pink floral dress down. “Indeed, and those cream cakes were splendid! Did you try some?”
Pastry flakes fall onto my jeans, and I imitate Mother. “Unfortunately, I didn't have the chance.” I shrug before taking another bite of food. My eyes sweep over the gratuitous amount of food between us, with bowls of grapes and apples, alongside the platter of cheese and crackers. A beaker of milk and another of orange juice stand on the side. I think I'd throw up if I only got a quick bite of everything. “I'm sure it was good, though.”
“I have some left over. You just have to try. The chefs were actually from Lluvia too!”
I didn't have a chance to try a cake last night. Not after letting my date go or trying to help Clara.
Clara. I still have no idea how to help her.
