Page 106 of Soulmateless
I tilt my head back. “What?”
She becomes silent, crossing her arms as her eyes shift. “Lily flower, we need to talk.”
My heart plummets. What do we possibly have to talk about? Is this about Clara?
“It's nothing to be afraid of,” Grandmother smiles a second before dropping it. “I'm not mad at you.”
I force my tapping foot down and straighten my posture to look more confident. “What is it?”
“So…” She puts a finger to her cheek. “I've heard about what happened at that lecture you went to a few weeks ago.”
I narrow my eyes. Not this. “Yeah…”
“Everything I heard you had said during the lecture was quite concerning.”
“Yeah…”
She lowers her head. “It's not because of this girl, is it?”
“No.” Even if she was the one that pointed out the flaws, it was because they couldn't prove their ideas that I spoke out, so I'm telling the truth. “It has nothing to do with her. I never told her about the incident.”
She raises her brows. “Are you sure?”
“Yes!”
She sucks in a sharp breath. “I'm sorry. I'm just a bit concerned. I just… I don't understand why you would lash out at the professors. Did you not believe Godusa made those dreamscreechers evil?” The gloss in her eyes seems to intensify, as if she would start to cry if I said the wrong answer.
“No, it's not that,” I murmur, putting a hand to her arm. “It's just that… they didn't use any concrete evidence-”
“They shouldn't need to,” Her voice gains firmness. I flinch back at the tone. “You know the truth. You know why Godusa made those creatures. You know what they've done to me and all the Amarians. Why do you need evidence?”
I narrow my eyes. How come evidence seems to be so offensive to ask for? “I’m not saying it isn't true, I just think there should be real evidence to prove what they’re saying.”
She scowls. “Is my word not enough?”
My heart shrivels up in immediate guilt. “It's not that! I just… I just want to know how they've come to their scientific conclusions.”
She takes a deep breath, seemingly relaxing her shoulders. “I’m sorry Lily Flower. I just… I just don't want you to end up brainwashed. This is how Lydia started falling for the Great Beast. She started to lose reality, and question things we already know are true.”
“But I'm not falling in love with a dreamscreecher.” Even then, is it still so wrong to question things? “I just want-”
“But this is just how it starts. Then you get a dreamscreecher to take advantage of your delusions and hurt you.”
I glance away. Our situations are nothing alike. I haven't been manipulated or assaulted. I'm questioning things with a clear mind. The dreamscreecher I've met hasn't even talked to me.
“I always want you to keep our people in mind and help protect them.” She shakes her head. “When you talked about making that wish, I thought it was a sign that you understood.” Her eyes continue to water as she stares off distantly
Guilt makes my body hunch. “I do want to help our people. I just hoped…” I take a deep breath. I don't want to say something that will freak her out. “You don't think there could've been a chance it was a misunderstanding?”
Grandmother makes eye contact with me and chuckles. The tone of her chuckle is anything but happy. “That’s a sweet fantasy, Amias, but I wouldn't have done what I have if there was a chance of a misunderstanding. Godusa had plenty of chancesto prove that it was, but she used her creatures to destroy us instead.”
I nod as I think over the information. I can understand why she feels the way she does, from all the violence she's witnessed and the Great Beast’s assault and manipulation of Lydia. Of course she would be upset if I tried to defend them.
But she hasn’t seen what I've seen. She hasn't seen the dreamscreecher that saved my life three times now. She had never debated the topic with anyone outside of the kingdom besides Godusa. All of these reasons are why I can't make that wish to kill them all.
Even though it will upset her.
“Okay…” I murmur, just to reassure her.
