Pember sucked in a breath. “Because of the medication? I heard it’s not all sunshine and rainbows, but?—”
“No. I’ve had arrhythmia since I was a kid, but breaking the bite made my blood pressure skyrocket. Before I knew it I was having severe heart palpitations multiple times a day. I remember being out at a job, talking to a little old lady about her deceased son, when all of a sudden I was doubled over her kitchen table in absolute agony.”
Blake let out a sharp laugh, and Pember stared up at him in disbelief.
“And you… you do allthis—” he waved an arm towards the police station. “—despite everything? You work ridiculously long days, get barely any sleep andtotallyneglect your own well-being in the process?” He grabbed Blake’s arms and shook him back and forth, as though doing so might knock some sense into his head.
“It’s not good, Blake. Not good at all. You can act as blasé as you like, but itmusthurt, and I can tell it isn’t just the beta blockers keeping you up at night.”
The alpha’s nostrils flared, and before Pember could react he was being backed towards the hedgeline. His spine hit the fence, sending a rush of air straight out of his mouth. His hand flew out to brace against Blake’s chest, the shape of the monitor pressing into his palm.
Blake bore down on him, eyes ablaze as he gripped Pember’s face between his massive hands. “And what about you?” he growled, pressing their faces together. “What keeps you up at night, Pember?”
Pember suddenly felt giddy, the alpha’s scent making his toes curl in his boots. Reaching up, he gripped Blake’s wrists, realising that the alpha’s hands were no longer cold, but so very,verywarm.
Pember smiled, but it did not reach his eyes. “A dead sister. And the crippling guilt that it was all my fault.”
CHAPTER 11
UNWELCOME VISITOR
Pember
It waslike a pendulum had been strung up in Pember’s chest, making him dangle helplessly between Blake’s hands. His body told him to press up into Blake’s arms, whilst his brain shrieked at him to step away.Not the alpha. Don’t trust the alpha.But Blake’s mismatched eyes kept him rooted to the spot.
“Pember,” Blake’s voice rumbled, the pitch so low it vibrated deep in his belly. His inner wolf hunkered down before rolling onto its back and baring its throat.
In that moment, Pember couldn’t have said whether they were inside or out. Up or down, or even on planet earth. But his body was certain of one thing—it was warm and safe in Blake’s orbit, in his hands, his eyes, and the alpha’s steady breaths were enough to settle his hammering heart.
“Blake…” he whispered, eyes wide as he squeezed the alpha’s forearms. George barked, making him jump. “S-sorry,” he uttered, snapping out of whatever trance he had just been in. He peeled Blake’s hands away from his face. “That was depressing…reallydepressing, and I shouldn’t have said it.”
He was about to step away when Blake slid a hand across his cheek and hooked it around the nape of his neck, tugging him into his arms.
“Never apologise,” he whispered. “Never for that.”
He nudged his nose through Pember’s messy hair, breath warming his scalp. Pember whimpered, but let his face be pulled against the lapel of the alpha’s coat, his arms hanging awkwardly at his sides.
“You smell like you need to shift,” Blake whispered, drawing in another deep breath. “Your body… The tension is pouring out of you.”
Pember squeezed his eyes shut, the clean scent of Blake’s cotton shirt, paired with his deep natural musk, uncoiling the knot in the base of his skull. His fingers twitched, unsure of where to go or what to grab, but eventually they balled into the front of Blake’s coat.
It was more than a hug, but not quite an embrace, and the birds, the breeze and George were their only witnesses. It was over as quickly as it started, the siren of a police car cutting through the calm. Pember pulled away, running his hands up and down the front of Blake’s coat as though pulling it back into place might erase the last five seconds.
“Sorry,” he said again, smoothing the material. “I… Shifting’s not at the top of my priority list right now.”
Blake pushed his glasses into his hair and sighed. “Do you want to? We have time, and there’s?—”
“Please,” Pember replied, giving him a tight-lipped smile. “Can we just drop it?”
Blake sighed and took a step back. “Call me,” he murmured. “If you ever feel overwhelmed. Day or night, it doesn’t matter, just call me.”
Pember’s mouth opened and closed before he huffed out a mirthless laugh. “If I did that you’d never have time for anyoneelse. It’s just a feeling… Depression, probably. It’s always with me. I don’t think it’ll ever go away.” The words came out stilted as he swallowed back the lump in his throat.
“What about your family? Your friends? Surely there’s someone you can talk to?”
Pember shook his head, a slight breeze catching his hair. “My family is what you might call…fucked.Absolutely, catastrophically fucked. My dad and sister are dead, and my mum is—” He cut himself off before any more buried truths slipped out. “Anyway.” He pulled back, opening up the space between them. “What flavour cheesecake would you like?”
The alpha stared at him for several seconds, the intensity of his gaze making Pember cough and look away. Eventually, Blake straightened and held up a hand. “I was only joking about dessert. In fact, why don’t I make it?”
