When they left, Teddy hung back. His hands were buried in his pockets, and his eyes were looking anywhere beside me. He asked, “Are you okay?”
“No,” I said, finally being somewhat honest.
He came to my side and bumped my arm with his. “Want to talk about it?”
I closed my eyes, then glanced around the cafeteria. There were a few people, but no one close by, but their presence was enough to have me nodding toward the door. We stepped outside, and I turned toward the elevator. After the door closed, I didn’t ask NAID to send the elevator to a floor. I leaned back against the vines covering the walls. There was literally no escape from the plants, but I didn’t mind it. Not really.
Teddy didn’t talk either. He rested against the wall and simply breathed with me. It was… soothing.
“It was a lot, huh?” I finally broke the silence.
“What?”
“Xome.”
He nodded and confessed, “I have nightmares.”
“Me too.”
“I see them,” Teddy whispered.
“Who?” I looked at him, but he was staring at the floor, shoulders shaking.
“Everyone I killed. All of the people I locked in that damn incinerator. Their ghosts haunt me.”
Fighting through any unease I had about touching, I snagged Teddy and hauled him into my arms. “It was not your fault,” I growled. “Do you hear me, Bartholomew? What happened on Xome wasn’t your fault.”
“I locked the door.”
“And I didn’t fight.”
Teddy backed up. “What? I didn’t give you a choice.”
“That’s not what I’m talking about.” I sank to the floor, and Teddy was right behind me. I drew my knees to my chest and said, “I was sold to a brothel after you were abducted.”
“Fuck.”
“Yep.”
“That’s why you want to go home,” Teddy said baldly, and I chuckled. He always shot straight to the heart of the matter.
“Yep,” I repeated.
“Fuck,” he repeated as well and pushed his fingers through the short amount of black hair he had. “I’m sorry I was an ass about you going home.”
“You didn’t know.”
“And you didn’t tell me.”
I looked at him. “I couldn’t get the words out.”
“That, I understand.”
“It wasn’t your fault,” I said, resting my head on his shoulder.
“It wasn't yours either.”
Tears welled in my eyes, and I fought them, but they slipped out. Teddy didn’t say anything, letting me weep, and I wasn’t alone. He cried silently, his tears dripping onto me.
