He was the youngest of us, but he often charged in front of us all so as not to be outdone. A habit he hadn’t outgrown. I didn’t mind in most circumstances, yet in this situation, it annoyed me to no end. They acted as if me befriending someone was odd.
Maybe it was. I had no friends outside of my family. Vince was special. Very special.
I motioned for them to sit while I took a seat on the floor, my wings slipping out of the slits in the back of my shirt. I kept them at a relaxed position, but the fact I couldn’t retract them alerted me to how upset I was.
“I’m allowed to make friends,” I said in a preemptive strike.
Serlotminden scoffed. “You are, but you don’t.”
“What is Vince to you?” Zoltilvoxfyn asked, the calmest of this horde—unlike my youngest brother.
Kalvoxrencol vibrated in excitement, his thoughts and emotions practically stabbing my brain. He wanted me to be interested in Vince partly for me, but mostly because he wanted Vince to stop pursuing Seth.
“A person who needs help. He is amusing. Nothing more, nothing less.”
“Are you sure?” Kalvoxrencol asked, his tail wagging to the point that Zoltilvoxfyn caught and held it with his own so it wouldn’t smack him in the face. “You never smile or laugh like that. You seek him out, Captain. All the time.”
I leveled each of them with a glare. “Just because you each have decided to take a human mate, does not mean I will. Vince is not interested in me. I’m not interested in Vince. We are nothing but two people who enjoy time together.”
“If you say so,” Kalvoxrencol said.
“Yes,” I said, though I wasn’t sure. Vince was special. What that meant to me or the future, I wasn’t sure. Nonetheless, I wasn’t going to admit anything to this rabble.
Chapter 14
What are you looking at?
“You have an appointment with Physician Klars today,” NAID announced not long after I’d woken up. I’d actually slept, with Don’s help, and for the first time in I don’t know how long, I felt rested. However, I didn’t want to leave my room. I found as time passed that I wanted to do nothing more than curl into a ball and sleep or pretend I didn’t exist.
So NAID’s proclamation about my appointment was met with deep loathing. I had to get more treatment for the disease that… that I’d gotten. I swallowed the sudden bile that was climbing my throat in a burning wave. I stood and went straight to the bathroom. Mechanically, I stripped out of my sweats andclimbed into the shower and turned the pouring water up to the highest temperature I could stand.
The burning water made my pale skin redden, but I didn’t care. I scrubbed and scrubbed and scrubbed with a cloth like it could rid me of the imaginary fingers grasping my arms or erase the filth that had clung to me.
Dropping the cloth, I sank to the stone floor of the shower and hugged my knees to my chest. I simply breathed under the scalding hot waterfall. The rocks in the shower had little plants and moss growing on them and the rough, jutting stone bench on one end of the shower both added to the outdoors feel. It was almost like I wasn’t shoved into a metal box hurtling through foreign space but was rather on a vacation somewhere on Earth.
I could pretend, even for a moment, that I was home, that nothing had happened, that I was safe.
My head pressed against my knees, and I pretended. Fuck, how I pretended.
But there was only so long I could sit under the burning water before I had to move forward. Actually, I would’ve sat there all day, but NAID reminded me once again of my appointment and stirred me into action. My every movement was precise as a numbness filled me. I yanked on ripped black leggings, then pulled on a short pleated black skirt, another band crop top, and finished the outfit with a fishnet shrug.
I glanced at my reflection, and my bruised eyes were the first thing I noticed. My eyes had always been so dark brown that they appeared black, but now, they looked bleak, wounded, broken.
A growl built in my chest, and I lashed out, punching the glass. It shattered; my image fractured and the screen shorted in lines of color. Panting, I stared at my destroyed reflection and hatred swelled in my chest like a balloon, pushing everything else out.
Screaming, I punched the screen again and again and again. Images flashed before my eyes. My burnt hands helping Teddy throw groaning people into the flames of the incinerator; their screams rang in my ears. The stinging thwack of Agk hitting me with a baton. My nose bleeding. Agk selling me to Tryk and being pushed into a small dark cell. My stomach eating itself. The snap of my finger after I’d smacked someone. A person on top of me. My tears dripping down my cheeks. Dark. So much darkness. It never ended. There was no light. I would never see the light.
“Stop,” a deep voice said.
I couldn’t, though. There were still fragments of my face covered in red. The screams kept escaping my lips as my fists connected with the broken, winking screen. It was mocking me.
Bands of iron surrounded me and drew me into a soothing warmth. My breath sawed in and out as I trembled. Head bowed, I sobbed. The tears wouldn’t stop pouring down my cheeks.
“I am here,” Don whispered, his forehead resting on the back of my head. “I am here. You are not alone, Little Warrior.”
More tears slid down my cheeks, and my blurry gaze refused to move from my broken reflection. “Please.”
“What?”
