Seriously, these couches sucked so much. They were way too fucking tall, and I couldn’t find a comfortable spot to snuggle into. Yeah, they had tall arms like a chaise or a divan or some shit, but they were hard under my ass, even with the pink blankets I’d spread over the seat. I missed big plush couches that basically ate you when you sat down. I yanked my oversized hoodie closer and pulled my legs up to sit cross-legged.
Nope, still annoying. My ass was going to be numb eventually.
“Not sucking Mindy’s face today?” I rejoined, picking at my peeling pink nail polish, and Teddy grunted with the slightest flush on his cheeks.
I hadn’t felt like leaving my room today, and with the food dispensers, I didn’t have to. Honestly, I hadn’t felt like doing anything besides holding a pillow to my oddly hollow chest and drinking as much booze as I could to drown whatever these pesky emotions were. But I didn’t want that. I’d seen friends give into the bottle, and I refused to be that person, yet the temptation to forget was so damn strong. So I called Teddy on the glowing, touchstone thing. I’d had to say his full name. Bartholomew Reginald Lucian Cavendish-Wallingford. How ridiculous was that? Like the good friend that he was, Teddy had immediately agreed to come and hang out.
We sat there in awkward silence. I didn’t know why things were so strained between us. Teddy and I had been through literal hell together, and I was closer to him than almost anyone. Why were we fumbling to find our rhythm?
Trying to be a functioning adult, I asked, “Are you mad at me?”
Teddy cocked his head. “Why would you think that?”
I motioned between us.
“I’m always quiet.”
“That’s not what I meant,” I replied.
He sighed, then chewed on his bottom lip for a moment. “I was… hurt when you ran toward Seth, not caring I was there.”
“Fuck, I didn’t mean to hurt you.” I’d just been overwhelmed with seeing Seth.
“I know that,” Teddy said, reaching for me but stopped when I flinched from his sudden movement. “I also don’t know where we stand. Everything feels different.”
I nodded. “I want us to be close still.”
His serious eyes ran over my huddled form. “I do too.”
I was keeping things from Teddy, but I couldn’t get the words out about what happened. It was too real. Besides, what was the point? I was going to forget it all eventually.
Teddy said, motioning to me, “I see you are finally embracing your style again.”
Chuckling, I smoothed my skirt over my legs and the rest of the tension in my body slid away. “How many times did I complain about the jumpsuits on Xome?”
“Too many times to count.”
“Fair, but fuck, they were the ugliest brown and so thin and unflattering.”
“Yep.”
“Now,” I said, “I can finally wear everything that I want to.”
He nodded.
Something inside of me uncoiled. It was like the past. I would talk—rant, more accurately—and Teddy would listen while nodding along.
“Mindy is good to you, right?” I asked. I hadn’t been as good a friend as Teddy had been; I’d been more focused on Seth and his stupid husband. However, I was concerned about Teddy.
“He is. Mindy loves me.”
“He feeds you and doesn’t hurt you?” I pressed, unable to stop the protective urges coursing through me.
“Vince, Serlotminden is obsessed with making sure I eat and that I’m happy. I promise I’m doing okay.”
“Good,” I said, though part of me wanted to keep bugging him for the details. Instead, I demanded, “So tell me how he stole your heart so I can tease you.”
Teddy laughed, but didn’t deny me. His smooth, even voice soothed me further as he told me about him and Mindy crash landing on an ice planet and Mindy courting Teddy with a caveman routine that seemed to work for my friend.
