Seth had tried to speak to me, multiple times, and I would talk, but my thoughts had kept going back to his smiling face in Kal’s arms. I’d never seen Seth so at ease. Not when we were kids. Not when he lived with my family after his grandparents kicked him out. Not when we were adults. Never. He’d always hunched and shied away or stayed quiet, eyes wary.
He was still the Seth I knew and loved, but it was like he was finally comfortable in his own skin. Unfortunately, I knew Kal was probably part of that reason, if not the whole damn reason. I wanted to chuck the blue alien into a ravine with an anchor tied around his ankles, but at the same time, I could begrudgingly admit that Kal had been good for Seth. In some way, at least. Some very small insignificant way.
That night after the experience, I hadn’t asked for Don’s help, embarrassed at the way I’d snuggled against him, attracted to the burning heat coming off him and the soothing way it comforted me, and had paid the price. Nightmares had assaulted me all night long, making me start awake until I finally gave up sleeping and washed the sweat-drenched terror off of me.
Now, I was sitting in an atrium full of weird-colored plants. Everywhere I looked I found a different color from the vines to flowers to trees. There was no break from it. Trees that had deep red with gold striations in their trunks. Purple trees with wisteria-esque flowers. Green ferns. Red Ferns. Pink ferns. Blue. Yellow. Orange.
The atrium was truly lovely, and there was a reverent peace to it that calmed my soul in a way I didn’t understand.
Seth was seated against a wall covered in dark green vines with tiny light blue flowers, staring at me.
I smiled, leaning back on my elbows. “What? I’m suddenly so gorgeous you can’t look away? I will admit I do look rather nice today.” My crop top and skinny jeans looked like all the others I’d worn.
“You and Don have been spending a lot of time together.”
I groaned, flopping back and covering my face. “Do not try to set me up with your alien brother-in-law.” God, that was the last thing either of us needed. Don was nice, and that was why he was helping me, but I was in love with my idiot friend.
There was nothing between Don and me.
Seth laughed. “Fine. I thought I’d ask.”
I looked over at him and a smile tugged at my own lips. “You look good.”
He flushed. “I am good. Did I like how I got here? No, but I’m glad I’m with Kal. I like Tamkolvanloknol, and I can even say its name now. It did take a minute, though.”
I sat up and grabbed my knees as nerves plucked at me like an over-taut string. “I don’t want to upset you, but…” I licked my lips. “What happened with Travis all those years ago?”
His face instantly paled, and I wanted to smack myself. Why couldn’t I leave well enough alone? But… I needed to know. The last time I saw Seth was at a party that I’d thrown. Travis had been an ass as usual, but when he’d backhanded Seth, sending him to the ground, I’d lost it. I’d punched him. I’d told Seth to stay with me and Travis to get the hell out, but Seth had gotten up and followed Travis, head down, shoulders hunched, making apologies.
Seth had refused to leave him and kept making excuses, then he started bailing on seeing me until he stopped talking to me at all. Travis had made him choose, and Seth had chosen his boyfriend over me.
I’d never gotten over it.
Yes, logically, I knew there was more to it and Seth was a victim, but it had hurt worse than a punch to the dick. When Seth tried to restart our friendship after Travis dumped him, I’d told him no. I’d had to keep myself safe, and I’d refused to wait around for some other person to make Seth give me up.
With a sigh, Seth leaned his head back against the vines, his brown hair brushing a flower, which released a light scent. “Long story short, Travis isolated me. I couldn’t go anywhere without him, do anything without his permission, or wear clothes that he hadn’t approved of. Every little mistake was my fault and he would take it out on me, and I just took it.” He shrugged, meeting my gaze. “I felt like that’s all I was worth.”
“You’re not,” I said, rushing to his side and gripping his hands before I’d even thought about it. “You’re worth everything.”
Didn’t he see that?
“Kal says the same thing.” Seth squeezed my hand. “In the end, Travis made me pay for the move to Washington, then dumped me. Best thing that ever happened to me.”
I swallowed, releasing his hands. “Do you have nightmares?”
“Sometimes, yeah. More panic attacks with my anxiety, or freaking out when people suddenly touch me. Or yelling. I can’t handle yelling.” Seth stared at me and shifted to his knees. “Vince, are you okay?”
I hadn’t told him or Teddy anything. Both of them would listen; I knew that, and Seth was here and waiting. He wouldn’t judge or blame. He would let me say what I needed. Or at least, I thought he would. But I felt… dirty. I felt used. I felt like what happened must somehow be my fault, though I’d been taken. But I could’ve fought more. I could’ve resisted. I’d made a token effort, then just gave up. Hadn’t I?
Seth simply stared at me, and I wanted to say something, but I couldn’t get the words out. I trusted him. I did. But saying what happened would make it real, and all I wanted was for it to disappear. I needed to forget. I needed to push it away, bury it. Thinking about what happened was pointless. I needed to move on and let it go.
“Yeah, of course. I mean, for being abducted by aliens, I’m doing fantastic,” I teased.
He touched my arm, and I flinched, hugging myself.
“You can tell me anything,” he said in a soft voice. “Whenever you want. I’m always available. I love you, Vinnie. You know that, right?”
“Yeah,” I said, voice barely audible. He loved me, but not like I loved him.
