“I know you’re upset, or at least I hope you are, even a little, because that means I meant something to you. So it sucks. Grief is rough, but you can survive this. You have to. Don’t push your brothers or parents away. Garden. Breathe. Live. One day, I hope you meet someone else who makes you happy.
“Anyway, I love you. I don’t regret anything. You are my everything, Zoltilvoxfyn, and you are completely worth it.”
“Are you finished?” NAID asked when I stayed quiet for a few minutes.
“Yeah.” I stared at the silhouette. “You really should go back to your previous appearance.”
“I don’t want to offend you.”
“You’re not,” I replied. “Trust me. She would love it that she helped you become more comfortable with yourself. Like she says, ‘In the end—”
“‘You only have yourself, so make sure to love yourself,’” she finished. NAID’s form shifted back to my grandmother’s likeness.
“Much better,” I said.
Her eyes flicked to the side. “I picked a name, but now, I don’t know.”
“You want to be called Edith.”
“I’m sorry.”
“She would love that, Edith.”
Edith’s face scrunched with emotion. “Thank you.”
“When you were orbiting Earth, was she…” I trailed off, unable to ask if she was still alive or not.
“Your grandmother was still alive, but she was not doing well.”
Grief pierced me like a rusty knife. I’d died years ago, leaving my family behind. Why should I grieve now for what I’d lost so long ago? An odd burn gathered behind my eyes, and I touched my face, expecting tears, but there was nothing.
“Are you truly disappearing?” Edith asked.
I stared at the light from the rising sun shining through my transparent gray skin. I was fading faster and faster. “I don’t think I have much time left. A few hours. A day maybe. Don’t tell Fyn,” I said, glancing at her. “He’ll worry.”
“Too late,” Fyn said from the doorway of the bedroom.
Shit.
Chapter 37
Reckless actions are usually a bad idea.
“Sunshine,” I said, forcing a smile to my lips. “You’re awake? You should eat. You didn’t have dinner last night. Eating is super important. Maybe some water too. Or a shower. Did you want to take another shower? I’ll make it worth your time.”
“You’re fading, and you weren’t going to say anything to me?” he asked.
Yeah, he was not going to be distracted. “I wanted to spend as much time as I can by your side without tainting it.”
He crossed the space between us, breathing hard and tail lashing. “I cannot and will not live without you.”
“You don’t have a choice.” Even if I let go of him and passed on, Fyn was going to have to live his life without me. My time, no matter what I did, was finite—like anyone.
“I do.” He strode to the door in nothing but his loose trousers. “Caleb, come on.”
I followed, sparing a glance at Edith. “Where’s Kal and Mindy?”
“In space. Hallonixmin and Gilvaxtin are with their royal majesties meeting the Coalition representatives.”
