My soul dropped to the soles of my feet. “What?”
“I don’t remember.”
“No, Caleb. You vanished?”
Eyes unfocused, he answered, “I extended myself too far. When I focus to the extent I can touch something, it stresses my soul.”
“You shouldn’t have kissed me. Why would you do that?”
Caleb, my Caleb, finally looked at me, seeming like himself. “Because I wanted to, at least once. I deserve to kiss you, Fyn. I want you so bad. It kills me. I needed to be with you, even for a moment,” he snapped, hand on his chest. “I want this, even if I can’t actually have it.”
His words gutted me. I longed to touch him too, but I couldn’t risk him for that, for anything.
Caleb glanced around. “Where are we?”
“Dontilvynsan’s ship.”
“Space? I’m in space. How did I get here?”
I had no answer to give him because I was as confused as he was. Reaching out, I touched him and yanked back. “Why are you so cold?”
He shrugged. “Who knows, but it hurts.”
“What?” Spirits did not experience pain. They didn’t experience physical sensations whatsoever, according to Caleb.
He didn’t answer, and tremors continued to shake him. The edges of his soul were more blurred than usual, which allowed me to see through him. Normally, Caleb appeared solid, but now, his aspect was wispy. And gray. His fingers, ankles, and shoes were gray, and I saw the blue moss floor through him.
I shifted closer, ignoring the burn of the intense cold. “Put your hands on me, Mate.”
Caleb snuggled close, almost disappearing inside of me, and I swallowed a hiss. For once, I wished I had Kalvoxrencol’s inner fire. He could banish the cold plaguing Caleb with ease. Even Serlotminden with his ability to craft fire would be helpful, though the fire suppression systems would be triggered.
My mate stayed against me, and the chill slowly dimmed until he reached his normal frigid temperature. I kissed the top of his head, relishing the tingling. It was perfect. He was perfect.
“Don’t leave me.”
“I won’t. I didn’t mean to. I came back. I will always come back. I promise, Sunshine.”
I looked down and swallowed. The edges of his hair were going gray. It was like the color or life was bleeding out of him. Caleb was coming apart. I wrapped my wings around him. I would not let him go. We would figure something out. We had to.
Chapter 30
An unfortunate plan.
Pain. Actual pain. God. This was new. Years had passed since the last time I’d experienced this. I hated and loved the sensation. Feeling anything was a miracle, but why did it have to be pain? From the tip of my toes to the top of my head, everything ached and I was oddly heavy. Like this non-existent body had actual weight.
Fyn kept his wings around me as he huddled close. I slid my hands over his chest and froze, then moved to his back in my usual pattern. I felt warmth. A true, real heat. No second-guessing, no wondering. I felt Sunshine, and the sensation didn’t disappear after the barest moment.
“You’re warm.” I shifted nearer, to the point I started to slip inside of him, but I didn’t care. He wassodamn warm.
“Can you perceive my body?”
“Distantly, but it’s there, Sunshine. You’re there. You’re here. I’m here,” I answered. His hands slid up my back, and a tremor went through me. “Don’t stop.”
Without a word, he continued to stroke my back until I was groaning. I felt him. It was faint like a breeze, but dammit, it was there. It was miraculous. Every stroke was perfect and made me fight back sobs and groans at the same time.
“Fyn,” I moaned. I tilted toward him, wanting another kiss, but he stayed well out of reach, not that I would have focused to the point of resistance. “Sunshine? What’s wrong?” His glassy eyes turned to the ceiling, and my pleasure vanished. “What’s going on? Are you hurt? Did something happen? Is it Seth?” When he didn’t say anything, I snapped, “Zoltilvoxfyn, what is wrong? I need you to talk to me.”
“Nothing is wrong, my Caleb.”
