Page 34 of Cosmic Soul


Font Size:

Hallonnixmin (or Hal as Seth called him) had come several times to check on Fyn, as had Kal. He’d ignored them both, which made both of the brothers frown. They’d both asked about his appointments with his doctor, and Fyn had told them he wasn’t going. I wasn’t sure why he saw a doctor, but it was probably important.

Even when Seth came to see him, Fyn had sent him away.

I’d hung around him most of the time, chattering about nothing, though I’d left a few times to explore the palace. Every time, he would tense and ask me to come back soon, which I always did. I wasn’t going to leave Sunshine for long. When I returned, Fyn would crowd me, checking to make sure I was alright. I didn’t know what he thought was going to happen to me.

Something was wrong with him, and I wasn’t sure what.

Today, I was going to convince Fyn to leave his greenhouse in any way possible. He needed it, and so did I. I hated staying in one place, but I felt hella guilty leaving him for long when something was clearly bothering him.

Fyn was meticulously removing wilting blooms from a few of the bushes and pruning the branches back. His white hair hung around his face, obscuring it. His tail was limp near his leg—a definite sign he was upset.

I sidled up to him and hopped onto the table, giving him a wide smile, which he didn’t return.

Tough crowd.

“Do you want to see Wyn, Seth, and NAID today?” I asked. Maybe Wyn and the other scientists needed to run more experiments or maybe Urgg was there, and I couldfinallymeet the barbarus.

“Do you?”

“Yeah, and I can’t talk to them without you.”

He moved to another plant without responding.

“It might be fun, and we don’t have to stay long, because I know you have your combat-class-thing.”

“I’m not going.”

“Ah.” I couldn’t make him go, but I thought he should. Drawing my legs up and crossing them, I said, “Wyn might have an update on getting NAID’s sensors to perceive me.”

“Possibly.”

So this was going well. I had no idea what was wrong. It had started right after I came back from Tinlorray’s and told him about my mistake. My knees paused in their bouncing. Was that the issue? My mistake?

Fyn was probably mad at me for my stupid-ass mistake. I’d caused Tinlorray more suffering. I hadn’t even seen her in a couple of days, which probably upset her even more, but I didn’t know what to do. I was hurting her no matter what I did.

Or was it about how close I kept getting? Fyn wasn’t a physically affectionate person, even with his siblings, though he allowed them to hug him or grab his tail occasionally. I needed to stop crowding him, but I couldn’t help myself. Everything inside screamed for me to snuggle right against him.

“Sunshine,” I said, my voice quiet, “I’m sorry.”

Turning in my direction, he asked, “What?”

“I messed up.” I kept my eyes on my lap, so I didn’t have to see the frustration in his expression. I never wanted to do anything to upset him—not ever.

A thud, like a pot being set down, sounded, and footsteps came toward me. His hands rested on either side of the table, bracketing me. “You didn’t make a mistake, Caleb. You had no way of knowing she would think you were her brother.”

“Then why are you mad at me?” I hated the needy tone in my voice, but fucking hell, Ineededhim.

“I’m not.” He leaned over me, his hair forming a curtain around us. “This has nothing to do with you. I have a mental health condition, Caleb, and sometimes it makes it hard for me to connect or express myself. This was never about you. My apologies.”

“You don’t have to apologize.”

“I never meant to upset you.”

“It’s alright,” I said. “Can I ask what condition you have?” When he looked away, I continued, “You don’t have to tell me. Imean, fuck, that was probably a rude question. I’m sorry. I won’t ask again.”

“It’s fine, Caleb. I’m not mad. I don’t enjoy discussing it.”

“You don’t have to.”