I blinked back tears. Was he going to break up with me? Had I scared him off? I couldn’t handle that. Everything was too much, and Zoltilvoxfyn was the glue keeping me together. If he wasn’t here, I would shatter.
Kal laughed. “You hate the thought of being separated from the time you agree to bond and when the ceremony actually takes place.”
“If I don’t outright agree, then we can stay together,” he said.
The hurt vanished in an instant. “What?”
Seth explained, “You’re not allowed to see each other in between. I don’t know why.”
“It’s a leftover tradition from when we were warring clans. It was so the fated mate wouldn’t run away when they saw who the Crystal had chosen. It’s the same reason why the genetic link exists and doesn’t allow us to travel too far apart from each other. Though the distance has increased from what it used to be,” Fyn commented. “But I shall stay right here, beside you, for the foreseeable future.”
Something feral roiled inside of me, and without thought, I grabbed his cheeks to haul him closer to me, kissing him. Fyn started, but he didn’t pull away. Our lips molded together as a gentle symphony started in my chest, growing louder and louder, drowning everything else out.
I forced my tongue into his mouth, swiping his, and he groaned into me. Fuck. Nothing was better than that sound. My movements grew more frantic, desperate. He tasted so damn sweet. His scaled tongue curled around mine as he slid a handbeneath my shirt, tracing the line of my back all the way from the top of my tail to my wings, which made me moan.
Someone cleared their throat, and I jerked back, breath jagged.
Seth was cherry-red, and Kal was shaking his head, but he was grinning.
I wiggled, embarrassed. “Sorry.”
“Instinct,” Kal said, sliding his fingers over Seth’s neck. “You can’t help but desire your mate.”
“I suppose,” I replied, and Fyn raised his eyebrows. “Yes,” I begrudgingly added, crossing my arms.
He pressed a kiss to my cheek before tugging me into his arms. I settled partly on his lap and marveled at how large I was. I didn’t suffer from issues with my center of gravity. Yolkeltod’s body was used to this size. I wasn’t. I expected things and people to be taller and I smaller. My different size was throwing me off.
A strong panic seeped into me. I tried to breathe through it. I didn’t understand the fear or the urge to move away, even though I liked Fyn touching me. How did I want to be touched and not touched at the same time?
Tail flicking, I smothered a growl growing in my chest. I growled now. God, everything was so different. My wings started to slide through the slits in the back of my sleeveless tunic, but one got caught on the light fabric, succeeding in dragging a snarl from my lips as I turned around pointlessly.
Calm hands rested on my shoulders, and I stilled. Fyn’s earthy scent enveloped me, soothing the tension. “It’s alright,” he said. Carefully, he directed my wing out of the slit. Immediately, I hugged myself.
Shame burned me as I glanced at Seth and Kal who watched me. The first tear escaped, and I scoffed. I was fucking crying again, like a giant, pathetic baby. I needed to get a hold of myself.
“Maybe we should go?” Seth offered.
“We’ll see you both later,” Fyn said.
The moment the door closed behind them, Sunshine helped me lay down on the rug before rolling me onto my side. His arms came about me as he hooked a leg over my hip and curled his tail up my calf. The instant I was surrounded by him, I felt better.
Breathing in his perfect fragrance, I nuzzled his neck. The tears wouldn’t stop falling, and I had no idea why. I wrapped my tail around Fyn while I continued to nuzzle him, almost frantically.
Chapter 45
Grief is weird.
Caleb sat in the center of the medbay. The palace’s was fairly large with several beds and monitors, and it was fully staffed as well as equipped for our basic needs. Doctors and technicians bustled around him while he remained as still as the mountain, which was odd.
In the short time since Caleb had returned to me, he did not shout or bounce around as he once did. Pain was probably the reason, and it destroyed my soul that he was hurting so badly. But at the same time, his stillness separated this Caleb before me from my Caleb. I didn’t want such a distinction, and yet, it existed.
I caught a glimpse of Edith popping in on a monitor behind him, and I started. Apparently, she was expanding from Kalvoxrencol’s system. Seth had probably asked her to check on Caleb, or she was being nosy. It was hard to tell with Edith. She was an interesting person.
I wanted to wrap my arms around Caleb and ease the tension in his body, but I would get in the way of the technicians or the doctor if I did. We needed to know exactly what was going on with him so I could better take care of him. Nothing would happen to my mateeveragain.
The doctor pressed a vial against Caleb’s neck, and he jumped, making me snarl. The woman offered her throat but continued to take blood from Caleb’s neck before covering the mark with a plaster. Instinct demanded I lick the injury clean, but I remained where I was. If Caleb was open to it, I would bathe the wound later.
My mate trembled when someone grabbed his tail, trying to unwind it. Tails were sensitive for drakcol, Caleb’s even more so, and I didn’t like the idea of anyone but me touching his. Caleb’s eyes turned glassy. I stalked forward, snarling at the technician, who yanked away, throat bared.
