Letting go of him, I said, “If it didn’t matter, you would tell me.”
Seth was right. It did matter. I didn’t want him to know the details, because I was afraid he would flee. Already, I was the least of my brothers without even discussing my past indiscretions. Seth was better than I. Thoughts of the perfect red of his soul came to mind. How he’d fought through his past. His courage to reveal himself. Even me abducting him hadn’t fazed him for long.
I couldn’t lose him. Yet how did I show him the less-than-desirable parts?
Seth’s past had been done to him. He’d lived through it. Grown passed it. Survived. There was a strength in survival. My past? I’d made those decisions and had kept making the same mistakes over and over again despite the problems I’d caused.
NAID manifested on the screen in the middle of the shared space. “Crown Prince Hallonnixmin would like to speak to you.”
The incident with Monqilcolnen had happened only moments ago, and my older brother already knew of it. Of course, he did. The two of them had been best friends since they were children.
“Send him to my bedroom.”
“Yes, Prince.”
I stepped into my room, and my brother shouted, “Pest! I’m glad you responded to me. You’ve ignored my pings, multiple times. Busy with your new mate?”
I’d ignored him and my other brothers since Father had yelled at me. “What do you want?”
His expression dimmed, and guilt squarely clawed at my soul. Connecting with my brothers when I’d spent most of my life trying to escape the shadows they’d unintentionally cast was difficult. While I’d spent my life running from them, they had spent their lives chasing me, trying to console me, comfort me, or shield me from my mistakes and their natural consequences.
“I’m sorry. It’s been a trying time.”
“I heard about your Seth Harris yelling at Father.”
A smile tugged at my lips at the memory.
Hallonnixmin’s head tilted to the side. “You like Seth Harris.”
“He’s my soulmate.”
“But that doesn’t mean you have to like him. I’ve seen couples who don’t fall in love after the Crystal binds them together, even though they say they’re perfect matches. But you care about him.”
“I do,” I said, emotion leaking into my voice. Hallonnixmin continued to watch me with his usual smile. After a few moments, I asked, “Is that all?”
“I can’t speak to my little brother when he’s had a great upheaval?”
“Monqilcolnen didn’t send you a note?”
“A note about what? The last thing Monqilcolnen wrote to me was about the young ensign puking on him. It was quite amusing.”
Poor Wyn. Urgg had been right. The story would be legendary. Although Monqilcolnen wasn’t technically part of the royal family, he was nobility.
“Nothing else?”
“Should there be something else?” Hallonnixmin asked, his voice dropping an octave.
“No, of course not.”
“How are you and Seth Harris getting along?”
“Well enough.”
“Is he going to stay?”
My hands fisted, but Seth’s scent drifted off his hoodie and soothed me. My soul was seeped in his tangy citrus fragrance. I would never be free of it, and I never wanted to be.
I answered honestly, “I don’t know. I hope so.”
