Page 26 of Heidi Lucy Loses Her Mind
“Wait,” I say before I can stop myself. “Do you have someone you callhoney? Are you—do you have a girlfriend?”
I’ve never actually asked him this question. It never even occurred to me. He’s at my bookshop every day. When would he be with a woman?
“It’s fine if you do, obviously,” I say quickly. “It’s actually none of my business. I just—was surprised.” Crap. I sound flustered.
I’m always easily flustered with him, and I hate it. But he’s my favorite author, and he’s stupidly handsome, and he pushes my buttons in such a distracting way—
“I didn’t say I have a girlfriend,” he says, pulling me back to our conversation. He gives me a little smile. “I don’t. But you don’t need to worry about my love life right now.” He points up the stairs. “Go rest. Take care of yourself.”
I arch one brow at him. “According to Eric,you’resupposed to take care of me.” My brother is a grand total of twenty-one minutes older than me, and he thinks he can pull the overprotective card.
Although…I swallow, my cheeks heating slightly. What would that even look like, Soren taking care of me?
Soren hums. “Are you gonna let me take care of you?”
I blink, surprised. “No.” I’m a grown woman. I’ll take care of myself.
He nods. “I didn’t think so. Do it yourself, then. Take a bath. Watch a movie. Cry. Scream. Stare at the wall. Whatever you need to do.”
“Yeah,” I say faintly. “I’ll do that.” I back up slowly, and I can’t quite stop myself from staring at him, cataloging the features I’ve seen a million times before.
Has his hair always had that many shades of gold?
I blink a few times, shaking my head. I’m being stupid. “Okay,” I say. I thumb awkwardly over my shoulder. “I’m going.”
He smiles, nods, and then disappears back into the rows of bookshelves.
It’s only when I’m neck-deep in a coconut-scented bubble bath that I realize he never answered my original question.
* * *
When I emergefrom my bath a solid two hours later—don’t judge, and don’t ask how pruney my fingers and toes are—it’s to find Mel and Gemma sitting on my couch, booing as they chuck popcorn at my TV.
“Are you gonna pick that up?” I say, watching as kernel after kernel bounces off the little screen. I’m glad they’re making use of it; I rarely use my actual TV to watch anything. I’ve been thinking about getting rid of it, in fact, because I mostly use my laptop.
“Of course, sweetie. But I do have to point out,” Mel says, “she started it.” She jerks her thumb at Gemma. “I got swept along against my will.”
Gemma reaches over and nudges Mel in the arm. “What do you mean, against your will—we were both talking about how much we hate him. Besides, I bet you haven’t felt this young in years.”
Mel laughs, and I glance at the screen more closely.
“Hate who?” But it only takes me a second to recognizeA Walk to Remember. “Oh,” I say with a nod. “The bully popular friend?”
“The bully popular friend,” Gemma repeats, and she nods too. “He’s the worst. But enough about this.” She scrambles for the remote and turns the TV off, looking at me. “Let’s talk about you.”
The look she and Mel pin me with has me suddenly fidgeting, picking at my short, bitten-down fingernails.
“Are you okay?” Gemma says, tilting her head as she eyes me carefully.
When I hesitate, Mel jumps in.
“Do you not want to talk about it?” she says.
“I…” I think for a second, poking and prodding at my emotions. “I think I don’t know how to talk about it right now,” I say honestly. I don’t have words yet for the things I’m feeling or the things that have happened.
“That’s valid,” Gemma says, and Mel nods. Gemma’s voice softens as she goes on, “We’re here if you change your mind. You know that?”
“I know,” I say, my voice cracking. “I’ll let you know.”
