Page 81 of Eye of the Beholder
Always one more, I guess. It’s another wedding invitation from my dad. I can almost paper my room with them by now. This one has a sticky note on it.
“Cohen,” I read under my breath. “I love you. I understand that you’re angry. If you want to come to the wedding, I’d love to see you. If not, I’ll be here when you’re ready to talk to me again. Love, Dad.”
I look at the picture on the invitation. His fiancée is soyoung. I examine my dad’s face staring blankly up at me from the cardstock. He looks so…happy.
I don’t know how long I just stand there, staring at my dad’s face. I snap out of it when my mom says, “Cohen?”
“Huh?” I say, jerking my head around to look at her. “Sorry. Yeah?”
“Sweetie, what’s going on with you and your father?”
“Nothing is going on.”
“I think that’s the problem,” she says, her voice gentle again. “He loves you, Cohen. And he wants to be part of your life.”
“He left,” I say. But the words aren’t angry this time; they’re just tired. Tired of being angry. Mina was right; it’s making me miserable.
My mom sighs, looking sad and just as tired as I feel. “He did. But that was a decision we both made. We thought it would be better if he left. He didn’t do anything wrong, sweetie. No more than I did.”
“He stopped trying,” I say, my jaw clenching. “He gave up.”
My mom shakes her head. “He did try. We both did. And we eventually decided to move forward without each other. If you’re angry with him about that, you need to be angry with me too. And none of this means he doesn’t love you. It doesn’t even mean he doesn’t love me. We will always be a family—your father, me, Ian, Lydia, and you. We’re just different now. I know you’re angry at him. And that’s okay. But please recognize that he’s trying. He deserves forgiveness. We all do.”
“That’s what Mina says,” I say, and for some reason my mind flashes back to the picture of Jesus in her room. I stare back down at the invitation still clasped in my hand. “I’ll think about it” is all I can say.
25
Mina
When winter break rolls around, everyone is ready for it. I set a rigorous study schedule for myself and stick to it, but that doesn’t mean I don’t still stress about my tests. Senioritis has taken over the senior class, and though I’m not usually one to experience stuff like that, I have to admit that I get the senioritis thing. We’ve already applied to colleges; what’s the point of stressing about tests?
But, because I’m me, I stress anyway. I stress about tests, but I also stress about the winter dance that, as of a few days ago, I am officially attending with Jack. The dance is in January, which means I still have time to find a dress. I’m going to have to take Lydia with me. I don’t tell Cohen that Jack has asked me, but he probably knows.
The weekend that the winter break starts, I hear about a lot of parties. That sounds like a terrible way to spend the first free weekend of break—I prefer my work schedule. Outside of work, I am fully staying home and reading as many books as I can. I’m also doing more research about the upcoming meteor shower, just for fun. It should be incredible, even though it’s a smaller shower. The peak time is only a few hours, so I’ll have to do my best not to miss it.
I might try to hang out with Cohen, although I don’t know what we’ll do; I’m not tutoring him anymore. I guess I’ll probably see Jack too. He’s been hinting about us spending time together, and my feelings about that are oddly confused. We’re going to the dance together though, so I probably should.
On Christmas Eve, Jack gives me a single red rose. We’ve been walking in the snow. I’m freezing, even with a hat and gloves on, and I’m excited to get back inside. But Jack wanted to walk, so we do. When we’ve circled back around to my house, he runs to his car and comes back with the rose. I want to tell him that you really shouldn’t keep fresh flowers just lying in your car, but I don’t. I also don’t tell him that this move isn’t that romantic, considering I’m the one who suggested it in the first place back when he was trying to woo Virginia.
I shiver as the wind whips around me. The weather is spot on for Christmas Eve; it’s less spot on for standing around. But I wait patiently as Jack looks down at me, the little dimple creasing his cheek as he smiles at me. He slowly passes me the rose, and taking it feels significant in some way that makes me uncomfortable.
“You’re gorgeous, Mina,” he says, his smile spreading wider.
I will be less gorgeous if all my fingers fall off from frostbite, but I don’t say that. “Thank you,” I say. I’m suddenly annoyed for a reason I can’t put a name to. Then, before I can think, I say, “What else?”
Jack blinks as a snowflake makes its way to his eyelashes. “What?” he says, looking slightly confused.
“What else?” I repeat. I can’t say why I need the answer to this question, but I do. Maybe it’s stupid. I don’t care. “What else do you like about me?”
Jack laughs, and it’s a warm, genuine sound. “Gorgeous isn’t enough for you?” He steps closer to me, and my heart thrums.
I smile. “Humor me.”
“All right,” he says, returning my smile. “I’ll humor you.” He pauses for a second, thinking. “You’re nice.”
Nice? That’s it? I try not to let my impatience show. “Okay,” I say, my tone indicating for him to go on.
He shrugs. “And you’re beautiful, Mina. You’re not annoying.” He places his hands on my shoulders and tugs me closer, smiling down at me.
