Page 108 of Eye of the Beholder
I shrug and settle more comfortably into my seat. The air between us is charged, but Cohen’s calm tone is helping me calm down a bit, too, which I’m grateful for.
We take a few back roads, riding in silence, although every now and then Cohen looks over at me and smiles. He finally slows down when we reach a large field. He takes a deep breath. “My parents used to bring us here to look at the stars. I thought you might like to catch whatever’s left of your meteor shower.”
My eyes widen, and I smile. “Really?” I say.
He laughs at the look on my face. “Well, yeah. I didn’t bring you out here to murder you.”
I grin and scramble out of the car. My heels are unsteady on the grass, and I’m tempted to pull them off, but I don’t want my toes to fall off from the cold. I shiver in the January air, but I’m too busy looking at the sky to care much. I lean back against the car, my arms folded across my chest, and stare up. I stand up straight again immediately; the metal of the car against my back is highly unpleasant.
“Here,” Cohen says as he gets out on his side. I crane my neck around to look at him, and I’m just in time to catch his suit coat, which he’s just launched over the car at me.
“Don’t you want it?” I say, but I’m already pulling it on.
“Nah,” he says, walking around the car. “And besides, you’ve got all that—” He breaks off, gesturing vaguely at my shoulders. “All that uncovered.” He loosens his tie as he speaks. “Why didn’t you wear a coat?”
“Lydia’s dress was too pretty to cover up. Thank you for this,” I say, subtly smelling the jacket. It smells like him.
“Yep,” he says, leaning next to me against the car.
I want to look at him, but I keep my eyes on the sky instead. I don’t know if I can look at him right now. Not when we’re about to have a conversation that will change our relationship completely.
Unless I’ve completely misread this situation. I guess he could be wanting to talk about something else.
I see a meteor shoot across the sky, then another, and then another. I can’t help it; I laugh out loud. It’s not funny, but there’s something so exhilarating about seeing the stars. I rest my head back against the car, smiling. Then, finally, I look at Cohen.
“So?” I say, and he looks at me. “Talk.”
The corner of his mouth quirks, and he looks back at the sky. “No beating around the bush, I see.”
“None,” I say. I sound much calmer than I feel. My whole body is jittery with a kind of frenetic energy I’ve rarely felt before.
He looks at me again, his eyes intense. “You first.”
I snort. “I don’t think so. You wanted to have this talk.”
His eyes narrow slightly, and he angles his body toward me, folding his arms. “I don’t think I’m the only one with something to say.”
I swallow. “You’re not.”
He runs one hand through his hair. “All right. I’ll go first.” He takes a deep breath, looking resolutely at the stars above us. “I want to hold your hand, Mina. And I want to dance with you.” His voice cracks, and he cranes his head back even further, as though it will help him see the stars better—but I know it’s just so he won’t have to look at me. “And I know—”
“Stop,” I say. My heart is pounding out of my chest, and this whole experience is quickly becoming surreal. “If you’re going to say this, you have to look at me. Not the sky.”
Slowly, he lowers his chin and meets my eyes. The pain and hurt I see in his gaze almost make my jaw drop.
“I know you’re with Jack. And I’m not going to interfere if you’re not interested. But if there’s any part of you that wants me instead—”
“Wait,” I say, holding one hand up, and he stops talking. My mind reels.
Jack? This is aboutJack?
I’m an idiot.
“All right,” I say. I’ll tell him in a minute. I want to hear what he says first. “Go on.”
I see him swallow, but his eyes stay on mine. “When you told me Jack had kissed you, I felt like my heart was being ripped out. And I know he’s my friend. But you—” He gives a frustrated sigh and runs his hand through his hair again. “Somewhere along the way, you became mybestfriend. Maybe it’s scummy, but I just need to know. How serious are you guys? Do I have any chance at all?”
My thoughts tumble all over the place, but they come to rest on one thing: Jack. This is about Jack. He thinks Jack and I are still together.
