Atlas studied her. “You really are worried about your dreams, aren’t you? I mean, you could be using it as a convenient excuse, but that doesn’t seem your style.”
Convenientusually wasn’t a word anyone would use to describe her, no. Not for anything, probably. “No. I wouldn’t. I’m only concerned because they haven’t been this bad in some time.” The last time she’d noticed them being this intense had been when she and Aleks Akti, her father’s husband and submissive, had gone looking for a death cult in the desert. Before that, they hadn’t been so vivid and intense since she had gone through puberty, barely aware of what was happening to her and what those urges evenwere.
“Since that mess with the cultists?” Atlas leaned forward, reaching like he might take her hand, but then didn’t. She’d never been one for casual touches, even before she’d ended their relationship.
She nodded, trying to ignore the spike of adrenaline as she thought about it, the warmth pooling in her stomach when she remembered the battle, the way the sword had felt when she’d slid it deep in that man’s throat. The smell of copper, the sight of crimson blood on silver–
No. Stop it.“You should have someone who appreciates you.” She did mean that. He really was a kind man, and would make an excellent submissive for a dominant with sadistic tendencies. Maybe just slightly less…intrusive ones.
“So do you,” Atlas said. He gave her a wry smile. “I did really like you. I do. I hope we can still be friends, and if you need to blow off a little steam sometime, let me know, yeah? You’re still better with a whip than anyone I’ve ever met.”
She smiled at that, just a bit. “Thank you.” They both knew she wouldn’t ask. She never did when she ended any sort ofarrangement,either attempts at an actual relationship, like she’d had with Atlas, or more casual encounters, like the one she’d had for a few weeks with another soldier in her regiment, Chloe. It was just easier when you were done with something, to bedonewith it.
Her father would be disappointed about Atlas, though he’d pretend he’d had no idea they were together. He likely thought an older, more established soldier would be good for her–he thought the same thing about Theron, too. Her father didn’t seem to remember that his own true loves were an adventurer from across the sea, and a ferryman andeventual successor to the god of death.
“Dad says everyone needs an older, established soldier because that’s whatheis,” Theron had joked once, and Kataida had laughed but also had to agree he was right. She and Theron wondered all the time how the two of them were the children of the most responsible man in Arktos, if not all of Iperios. Irene and Lyra, too, weren’t the kind to let their children run aboutlike absolute wild creatures—they were as Arkoudai as Evander, both women content with the world and their place in it. Irene always said Kataida’s restlessness was due to the storm in which she’d been born and for which she’d been named, as storms were rare in Aktos. Thunder, less so now that the god of death was a more frequent visitor, but the kind that brought rain? Rare enough that for many, it was the first—and last—storm they’d see in their lifetime.
“What’s Theron’s excuse?” Kataida had asked her mother. Her older brother was just as restless, but less inclined to follow rules.
“His name meanshunter,” Lyra had answered. “Storms and hunters, they’re always on the move.”
Always on the movewas one way to put it.Causing destruction and killing thingswas another, but she couldn’t think about that right now. Instead, she and Atlas finished their tea, she gave him an awkward hug, and they went their separate ways when they left the tea house. That part she was sad about. She did like going to his house in the evening, letting him make dinner to satisfy his slight service bent before they went to bed to satisfy other urges. That part was too dangerous now, but the dinner and talking to another person, she hadn’t minded so much. She had a reputation for being serious to a fault, but she could be friendly enough with the right person.
“Kat-kat!”
She heard the excited, babyish voice of her little brother, Malik, and turned to find him toddling down the street with her older brother, Theron. Malik, Evander’s son with Elena,lovedTheron more than anyone in the world. Theron had been somewhat bemused at first, but it turned out he was actually very good with children, and liked babysitting more than he probably wanted anyone to know.
Kataida loved her little brother–he was exceptionally cute, for one, with light brown skin and Elena’s light blue eyes, with her father’s dark hair and, if it were possible to tell such things at a young age, his dominance and serious demeanor. But she was never sure how to behave around children, even back when she’d been one.
“Hello,” she said, going to her haunches when Malik approached, moving with his usual careful, measured steps and his usual sweet smile. He reached for her and she gathered him up, rising to her feet as she did so. “Did you have a nice day with Theron, dragonling?” Malik had been obsessed with the fire ribbon dragons since he’d been born.
“Uh-huh.” Malik settled against her, yawning. “I made a picture for the baby in Mama’s belly.”
“He asked me if I’d been excited to beyourbig brother,” Theron said as they headed toward their father’s house, a block from the small home they shared now that their childhood home was a bitcrowded.“I said no.”
Kataida shot her brother a look known to big brothers the world over, and pointed out a sleeping lizard to Malik, who clapped his hands excitedly but didn’t want to get any closer in case theybotheredit during its nap. Malik told her about the picture he’d drawn for Elena’s baby, then asked to be put down so he could walk between them, holding one of each of their hands.
She wondered why, as she looked at Malik, that she had no real desire to have any kids of her own. Her parents had all assured her that sometimes that desire manifested later in life, but if it didn’t, that was perfectly fine too. Maybe they all thought she would put aside a family for her duties as Strategos someday, and maybe up until that incident with the cultists, she would have even agreed. But after that, she’d known she’d never be Strategos, and it had been areliefto realize that, too.
She’d finally confessed it to Theron one night after they’d moved into the smaller house near their father’s residence, shortly after he and Elena had officially taken Aleks as their husband. Elena had never been quiet about wanting a lot of kids, and Theron and Kataida had both been recently appointed to regiments inside the capital city, so it only made sense to pool their credits and get a smaller house together. Theron never brought any of hisactivitieshome, except the Athenero, which had led to the conversation, and maybe a few contraband comics, which he’d probably gotten fromAleks.Kataida kept her own interests firmly out of the house as well, but she’d found that it was nice, to get to know her brother as an adult.
As much of one that he could be, though she kept that to herself.
Aleks was home, smiling at them both and opening his arms wide with a grin for Malik, who dropped their hands to dash off to his daddy. Growing up with two mothers and a father had been complicated for her, and she was sure Theron probably felt similar, being the oldest. But Malik seemed to love it, bossy and adorable andsafe, and the joy on his little face when Aleks caught him up in a hug made her and Theronbothsmile.
“Hi! Yes, you can tell me all about your afternoon when you’ve kissed your mom and had a bath,” Aleks said to his son, smiling fondly. Aleks, with his long blond hair casually tied back and his warm, honey-gold eyes bright and alert, was one of the most attractive people Kataida had ever met. She’d been a little embarrassed at first, having a bit of a crush on someone who was with her father and hiswife,but it turned out she was mostly drawn to hisotherness,a feeling she knew well herself.
“How was he?” Aleks asked Theron, with his easygoing smile.
“He was fine,” Theron said, which was Theron-speak forhe was an angel and I love him. “Drew a picture for the new baby,asked if I was excited about Kat when she was born. Obviously I said I wasn’t.”
Aleks laughed, clapping Theron on the shoulder. “You were nervous, huh?”
Theron’s face went hot, and Kataida didn’t even bother to hide her grin. Aleks could cut through bullshit like a newly-sharpened sword cut through leather. Maybethatwaswhy she liked him so much.
Elena was napping and their father was stuck in another long meeting, so Kataida and Theron gave Malik his requisite hundred goodbye hugs and headed back to their house. As they reached the small, stucco structure, Theron glanced at her and said, in an awful attempt to sound casual, “Don’t you usually have dinner with Atlas?”
“We aren’t seeing each other anymore,” Kataida said, as they went inside. No one locked their doors in Axon. Why would they? “Don’t make it a thing,” she said immediately. “It just wasn’t working.”
