She snorted. “That’s what you’re for.”
Sasha grinned up at her. “Damn right, baby.” His smile faded. “Do you think he really doesn’t want to stay with us?”
Viv was careful when she answered. “I think he does, but it might… take him some time to admit it. And if he chooses to leave in the spring, we have to let him.”
Sasha’s dark gray eyes glinted. “But if he wants to stay, and we want him to stay, why would he leave?”
She thought for a bit, petting his hair and then reaching once more for her tea while she tried to put into words what she meant. “Your heart is as big as you are, Sasha Black, and that’s why I love you. But people like Micah, like me, it… sometimes it’s hard to believe we can have what we want. Sometimes we don’t trust it.”
“Is that why you turned me down the first three times I asked you to marry me?”
“You asked three times on the fifth day you were courting me,” Viv pointed out. “I thought you’d been hit in the head in the fighting ring too many times, honestly.”
Sasha, unbothered as ever, knocked the side of his head with his fist. “Sasha Skull-Crusher, baby.”
“More like, Sasha Too Stubborn to Let a Crushed Skull Stop Him.”
“That’s a mouthful, baby.” Sasha leered at her. “Know what else is a—”
She clapped her hand over his mouth and laughed despite herself. “I know. If we do get to keep him, Micah, I’d love to see if he could take all of you.”
“Bet you guys could if you took turns. Mmm, nowthatis… not what you wanna talk about, huh.”
She’d rathertalk about that, but no, they needed to talk less about the sex and more about the emotions. “I don’t know if Micah considers us mates or not. I would think someone who lives apart from the villagers might not follow all their customs. Either way, of course I’d like him to stay. But you need to understand that he might not want to.”
“We want him to, though, right?” Sasha glanced up at her. “I mean, I do, if that’s what you’re asking.”
Viv nodded. “I figured, but it’s good to hear. I do, too. I suppose what I really wanted to tell you was that he might not want to. And I know, if he leaves, that will hurt you.”
Sasha could take any amount of physical pain you dished out, but the thought of losing someone he loved inflicted mental anguish that had nothing to do with his biological need for submission. He lowered his gaze and turned his head, the same way he did whenever she tried to talk to him about her illness.
Sasha could handle her episodic relapses. He did so with love and affection, for which she was forever grateful, but he couldn’t handle any discussion of her death. Every time she brought it up, he did the same thing: shut down, tried to change the subject. Losing Micah would hurt like that, in the way that made him afraid.
“He wants to stay, though,” Sasha said after a moment. “I know he does.”
Viv sighed. Sasha was as stubborn as any Lukoi. “I think so, yes, but that’s not… it may not be that simple.”
“Well, yeah, but…” Sasha shook his head. “I guess we’ll have to convince him, that’s all.”
“He was hurt like I was hurt, Sasha. Someone—maybe more than one person—treated him like he was broken. It takes time, after something like that, to understand that not everyone sees you that way. It took me time, with you.”
“Not nearly as much time as we have until spring,” Sasha said, indomitable as ever.
“You were very persuasive,” she agreed, petting him again. “But even if he loves us, he might still want to leave. This might be too much for him. My point is, it’s up to him to decide, and we have to respect his answer.”
“Sure. I’d never want someone with us who doesn’t want to be, but Viv, he’s… It’s like he was always supposed to be here, you know?”
She nodded. “I do.” She took longer to fall in love than Sasha, but she could feel the stirring of it, deep down. “I hope he stays with us. Part of that, too, is that… as I told you before, I’d like you to have someone, wh—if I don’t recover from the fever, one day.”
“You got better so much faster this time, though. See, that’s another reason why Micah should stay—”
“Micah has to want to stay forhim,” she interrupted. “Not because you like the pain he gives you, or because I like his magic and his healing drinks, or even because it helps to think you’ll have someone to love when I’m gone.” She reached out to turn his face toward hers. “He’s more than that, and I think if he knows how we feel about him, he’ll want to stay. People like to be useful, appreciated… but we should love him for more than what he gives us.”
“Well, yeah, but that’s just how he is. And I told you, no one could replace you, not ever,” Sasha said, brows drawing down.
She rubbed her thumb over the lines on his forehead, smoothing them—a frown looked as out of place on Sasha’s face as a snowstorm in summer. “I would want you to be happy, Sasha. If you can’t accept that you’d have someone else to love when… when I’m gone, then I don’t know that Micahshouldstay. Because losing me will hurt you both, and if you couldn’t find comfort and love in each other, it’d just make him feel abandoned all over again.”
“I wouldn’t do that, but I don’t—I don’t want to think about it, because you’re not gonna die. You’re gonna be just as badass as you always are.” He turned, pressing his face into her shoulder. “I hate when you talk like that.”
