Lo pushed out a deep breath and gently escaped the comfort of Bria’s arms. Ambling into the ensuite, he shut the door and sat on the edge of the bathtub. Rubbing his eyes, he hoped to at least get enough sleep to fuel his day. Lo thought about praying but he hadn’t done that in years. It hadn’t helped him during his crisis, so he saw no need to start now.
Fuck, I need to get my mind right…
The problem with that was Lo didn’t know how. There was no ridding himself of this. It would always be a part of him, and Lo couldn’t fathom having to carry this baggage through his existence. He took a moment for himself before going back in the room. Getting in bed, Bria laid close to him, making his overactive nerves settle.
“Are you going to be able to go back to sleep?”
“Probably not.”
“Do you want me to stay up with you?”
Even though he couldn’t see her, Lo looked her way. “Nah, you don’t got to.”
“I will. We can talk or just be silent. Whatever you wanna do.”
Lo thought her gesture was sweet, but he couldn’t help but tease her.
“You always wanna talk.”
“Well, we still don't know a lot about each other. I enjoy talking to you even though you don't give me much.”
He smirked at her dig. Lo had never been a talker. Not even when he was with his parents. He preferred being inside his head where it was safer. There were no judgements against him there. No one called him weirdos or demon spawn.
“What do you wanna know?” He tried his luck, hoping Bria didn’t make him regret opening up.
“Everything.” She turned on her side, resting her hand on his bare chest. Her touch was everything he didn’t know he needed. It soothed his nerves when he was in distress. She could calm a hurricane with just a touch from her fingertips.
“What scares you? Why are you so reserved? Why are you so mean? What makes you happy? Do you see yourself falling in love with me? Things like that. I really wanna get in your head.”
He rubbed his aching eyes, trying to decipher what he wanted to answer and the ones he didn’t want to elaborate on.
“I already told you what scares me earlier.”
Silence proceeded until she replied, “You were being serious when you said me?”
“Yeah.”
Lo assumed she would have a rebuttal, but she said nothing. Ever since he had exposed her infidelity, he noticed Bria had been avoiding him. Even after he expressed that he’d extended forgiveness to her, she still placed distance between them.
“Listen, Lo,” she uttered, “I shouldn’t have done what I did. I’m really not that kind of person. I just felt so unfulfilled with you. So ignored. You're not an easy person to be married to. And please don't confuse this with me blaming you. I’m just telling you that I require a certain kind of love and affection. A part of me think you won’t measure up to the man I’ve created inmy head. I just hope we can come to an agreement, and you can forgive me completely.”
Lo was terrified of falling in love with Bria. His heart couldn’t take another betrayal. It hadn’t recovered from the last one. Love had never been an emotion that he encountered. In fact, he ran away from it because he knew it wouldn’t suit him. Watching Meco fall in love with Kaylona changed his mind about the sentiment. Their love story was so organic. She didn’t chase him for money, and Meco didn’t pursue her with any ill intentions. Their bond had been authentic. Witnessing how happy his brother was made him play with the idea of finding his person.
Despite Bria rubbing him the wrong way, they were married. This was now an obligation, which was why he would forgive her. It didn’t mean her infidelity didn’t puncture his ego. She had given another man free reigns to brag about having her while her last name was Crown. If anything hurt Lo, it was that aspect.
“You don’t like me, do you?” she asked.
“You straight,” he kidded.
Smacking her lips, Bria hit his chest. “I’m serious, Lo. Do you even like me?”
“Yeah.”
“Yeah what?”
“Yeah, I like you.”
“What do you need from me to ensure that this marriage works?”
