Page 48 of Arseni
“Yes.”
“How?”
“The same way I trust you, boss,” I say with a heavy shrug.“You say shit, I believe it.I say shit, you believe it.That’s how these things work.”
Lowering his hand, he nods, but it isn’t in agreement.“You say a lot of things, Arseni.”He blows a breath through his nose and looks away.“How are we supposed to trust each other if we keep secrets like this?”
“It’s not a secret.”I shake my head.“I just didn’t want it to worsen your already bad mood.”
“Ah, you lie to protect me.Thank you, son.”
My teeth grind as I look up at the ceiling.I remember the first time he called me son.We were in the back of the Lincoln, Oleg taking a walk as Nikita ordered.He said he wanted only my ears, and at the time, that had me beaming with pride.
I listened to the job he wanted me to do, one he claimed too important for anyone else to fuck up.He spoke to me in a way no one in the Bratva ever had, not even Luka.He spoke to me like I was not only intelligent, but essential.He saw things in me I didn’t see,nobodyhadeverseen.
And when the moniker slipped off his tongue, his hand on my shoulder, I nodded sharply,obediently, but I am ashamed,humiliatedto admit that I wanted to cry.
It doesn’t have the same effect now.Now it just sounds condescending.
“What do you want me to do?”I deadpan.
“I want you to be loyal,” Nikita says, his voice dropping like he’s wounded.But it’s fake.I don’t even look at him, and I know it’s fake.
“Iamloyal.”
Seconds pass, enough that I get tired of staring at the ceiling and look at him instead.His chin rests atop interlaced fingers.When he perks up, his palms flattening on the table, he sucks in air to speak.“I want you to block his number… I trust you, but I don’t trust him.He’ll never get the message if you keep leaving the door open for him like this.”
Luka isn’t a heartbroken ex-girlfriend.He’s a fucking annoying gnat who won’t buzz off.
“Fine.”I pull out my phone and wag it.“I’ll block him.”
Murderous contempt pools in Nikita’s eyes, making his upper lip twitch like he wants to sneer.But it only lasts a moment.His lips pull into a small smile as he lowers his chin.“Thank you, son.”
I turn to leave, already unlocking my phone to go to Luka’s contact, but Nikita isn’t quite finished.
“Have the whore ready by tomorrow evening… I’m throwing a party in her honor.And yours, too.”
My shoulders bunch, my steps faltering.
Yes sir.
That’s what I should say.It should slip off my tongue as easily as it has a thousand times before, but this time, my vocal cords are pulled too tight with some fiery force.I’m walking away before I realize it’s jealousy.
I leave without another word, even as protest stacks on my tongue.I couldn’t voice it even if I wanted to, even if I was currently capable.Any protest would only make me fail the inevitable test he’s giving me.I knew it would come.I knew it before Margot arrived.
Just don’t get attached.
When he spoke those words, I shrugged them away.I welcomed his tests,knowingI would come out favorable.
Don’t get attached?I’ve had more siblings than I’ve had friends.I’ve broken more friendships than I have hearts.I’ve fucked more women than all of the above.
I lost the only person I ever believed was family.
I have no attachment to anyone or anything.I could pack a trash bag full of shit tonight and live the same life in another city without a moment of discomfort.
All of this is true.And still, I feel uneasy heading for the basement.Like I’m somehow going to fail this test I’ve studied my whole goddamn life for.
I pull up Luka’s contact when I make it to the basement door and hit block.When my phone asks if I’m sure, I hover my thumb above the confirmation.
