Page 36 of Arseni
Leaned back in a patio chair, I stare at the pink flesh, shadowed by Margot’s skirt that bunches above her waist.Her knees are pulled up and spread on the glass tabletop to bare herself for me like a good little whore.
I think I’m having too much fun.
Roscoe’s whine pulls my eyes beside the chair, and I grab the tennis ball from his mouth to toss it.He’s slower than normal but lucky to be alive.If Nikita finds out I’m keeping him here, he might not be as lucky.Nikita won’t be back tonight, though.It’s Thanksgiving night, and as ill-fitting as it seems, the guy is a family man.He left after his big lunch for the annual three-day camping trip he takes with his nephews.
That just leaves me and Margot… And Roscoe, for now.Fox and Zinovy think the guy who trashed our place is an old friend turned enemy of Fox’s.They’re out searching for him now, and until they take care of the guy, Roscoe is with me.
I throw the ball once more then pull out a cigarette and light it up, the flame giving just the tiniest bit of extra light.Enough to see Margot flinch, her erratic breaths skating with a sob she fights.
She looks pissed, her eyes staring off into the dark of the garden, anywhere but on me.She’sproud.But smart.I like her fight.It’s cute.
Pulling the cigarette from my mouth, I puff out smoke and stare at the orange glow on the tip of the stick.
“Did you know the foster dad you booted me to put a cigarette out on my stomach?”I finger my shirt.I can’t feel the marred flesh beneath my touch, but the phantom burn could never let me forget its exact location.
The guy’s image coming into my mind makes my gut twist.With what, I don’t know.He’s dead.I killed him years ago, so I don’t think I can say it’s fear.More like … shame, maybe.Shame I let a pussy hold me down.Shame I was weak enough to sneak food to begin with.I should’ve let the fucker starve me.
“Am I supposed to feel sorry for you?”Margot deadpans.
I blink.For a moment, I forgot she was even here.Forgot my point.
“Feel sorry for me?”I pause as if I’m pondering that.“No.But you should know the consequences of your actions.”
I take a drag of the cigarette and lean forward to put my lips close to Margot’s pussy.The baby pink ripples as she clenches, and if I leaned any closer, I could feel it.It’s chilly outside, but I bet she’s warm.
I blow smoke against her hole, watching it dissipate against her.Her thighs quake, but she doesn’t close them.She’s been especially obedient since I told her I’d kill Roscoe if she acted up.I’m a little offended that she believed me so easily.“Truth is, it was so long ago, I hardly remember what it felt like,” I lie, lifting my gaze to her face.She doesn’t look at me, just keeps her head turned watching nothing.Roscoe whines again, but I ignore him.
I flick hot ash against Margot’s thigh, watching her face as she gasps and twitches.“Doyouknow what it feels like?”
Her chest shakes, but she doesn’t look at me nor say anything.I don’t want to burn her.Not really.
But I want her to beg.My face feels harder than it did, my shoulders wound with tension.I don’t want her to feel sorry for me.That would be pathetic, especially under these circumstances.
But I do want her to be sorry.
“You think I don’t know what pain feels like?”she asks, her voice wobbly.“You talk like you’re the only person in the world who's ever been wronged.”
I lounge back and lift my feet onto the table, my shoe close enough to Margot’s pussy, I could nudge it with a light stretch.“Are you gonna give the ‘I was in the system too’ speech?Because frankly, you overdo it.It doesn’t make people feel connected to you.It makes them think you’re delusional.”
“Delusional.”She stutters out a laugh.“Okay.”
“You didn’t go in at birth, and you said you were adopted in what?Like two years?”
“Yeah, Arseni.You’re totally right.It shouldn’t count at all.”
“I’m just saying…” I shrug as if this conversation is relaxed, but I feel anything but.“You don’t know what it’s like to be unwanted.You have two sets of parents who passed away, and I’m sure that was very hard.But at least youhadthem.You can’t relate to the unpicked litter.You should stop trying.”
“Okay.”She nods, a little too fervently.Her voice holds anger, or maybe just frustration, but either way I watch bravery bubble out of her.“You’re right, I had parents, and most of them loved me.I feel grateful to have been adopted and was heartbroken when Sam and Georgia passed.Sure, I’m a thirty-five-year-old woman who’s never been married, but you’re right, I can’t relate to your terrible,terriblemisfortune of being unwanted.I can’timaginewhat that must feel like.”
I flick ash and prod my tongue against my cheek.I don’t like how sarcastic she sounds, but I’m trying not to let it charge me.
I should just let it go.She isn’t trying to be insulting.She just doesn’t fucking get it, and that’s okay.No one does.
“What university did you go to, Margot?”I ask when I can’t stop myself.
She scoots back on the table and closes her legs.I don’t even protest.Her pussy isn’t as appealing right now.
“Berkeley.Where’d you go, Arseni?Harvard?Yale?”
