I watched Tyler’s face as Chris continued his story. There were some handsome men at this table, but only one caught my attention. Thinking about the treehouse as I dozed on his shoulder or the heart-to-heart at the drive-in, I wrestled with the conflict. I wanted to know more about him, but the more thisthingbetween us grew, the harder it’d be when I said farewell. Perhaps I spent too much time letting the outcome ruin the moment? I’m sure Mimi would have a pithy saying that mentioned throwing caution to the wind. For her… forhim… I’d try.
“Thanks for having us,” I said.
“Don’t mention it,” Jason replied. “I’m glad you could finally make it.” He held his arms, pulling me in for a hug. Jason gave the best hugs. It might have been why I had such a big crush on him as a kid. He always hugged just a little longer than a straight man. I loved those few extra seconds.
“Same to you.” He let go, doing the same for Evie. I couldn’t help but giggle as she stiffened. As kids, she tolerated Jason and me with our sleepovers. When we got loud, she’d complain to Mimi, asking if she’d make us camp in the backyard.
“I’m glad you’re here, Evie.” She didn’t bat an eyelash at him using her nickname. He was just as close to a brother as me. “Take care of each other.”
He stood in the doorway as we walked back to the car. I had hoped for a few minutes alone with Tyler, but Simon had put him to work washing the dishes. I’d have to settle for sending him goofy selfies.
“Ready to head back to Mimi’s?”
She nodded. There had been laughter and more inside jokes than I could keep up with. As dinner moved into dessert, Evie had grown quiet. I wanted to ask what was going through her mind, but I didn’t dare pry. We had a good night together, and the last thing I wanted to do was upset a small victory.
We walked to the car, and I watched as she kept her eyes fixated on her feet. As we climbed into the car, I couldn’t ignore it anymore. Did I ask what was wrong? Would I be intruding? What’s the worst that happened? We go back to not talking?
“Did you have a good time?” Subtle. Get her talking before sorting through our emotional baggage.
“Yeah.” She buckled her seatbelt and clasped her hands in her lap. “Yeah. Your friends are great.”
“Seemed like you and Lucy hit it off? Jason says she doesn’t warm up to people very fast.”
Awkward small talk. She wasn’t a stranger. At least then we could discuss the weather or the farmer’s market. I turned the key, the engine breaking the silence between us. Ipulled back, wondering how fast I could drive the one-point-six miles? Did Firefly even have cops?
“She’s not what I expected. Lucy, I mean.”
“Think she was going to be a bearded woman?”
“Actually, yes.” She whistled. “And she’d be a good-looking one, let me tell you.”
“Her and Simon could share trimmers.” I had to give a soft laugh. “Well, that got weird.” She grew quiet. “I don’t want to be nosey, but is everything okay?” We had been under the same roof for over a week, and it still felt as if we were strangers staying in the same bed-and-breakfast.
“Yeah. I mean…” She trailed off. I held my tongue, letting her decide how much she wanted to share. “This all has been a lot. It’s weird being in Firefly and not having Mimi around. It’s just bringing up a lot of stuff.”
I wanted to say she could talk to me if she needed to. The words should be easy. Vocal cords should vibrate until my lips formed the words. But they didn’t have the frequency to cut through years of pain. Instead of filling the silence with concern, I let the sound of wheels on gravel hide my cowardice.
“Thanks for inviting me.” She kept her eyes forward as I stole glances. “You have a wonderful group of friends.”
“We’ll have to do this again.”
I owed Evie an honest conversation about what created this void between us. I knew what Ishoulddo, and yet I bit my tongue. It’d mean admitting all the ways things went wrong. It’d be the antithesis of the conversations I had withTyler. I preached radical love, but my heart hung heavy as I found myself unable to follow through.
I glanced in the rearview mirror, expecting to see Mimi shaking her head.
We pulled into the driveway, and my hand hovered over the key. As soon as I flicked it to the right, the engine died, and the silence came rushing in. It highlighted the lack of my voice and the words I should be saying. Evie opened her door while I lingered.
“You coming?”
“Give me a minute. I need to text Jason.”
She shut the door and headed toward the porch. Despite our city ways, we honored Mimi’s open-door policy. Evie gave me one last glance before shutting the door. I let out a long sigh, trying to wrap my head around the situation.
“I’m sorry,” I whispered.
Two words, and yet they conjured years of pain. Some people might say they didn’t know when they fell out of touch with a friend. For us, I could pinpoint it. When Mimi told us about Mom and Dad, she tried to hold a stoic face. Our grandmother hugged us tightly for what seemed like an eternity. While Evie confronted her grief, I shut down. That hug. It had been the last time I acted like the brother she deserved.
I glanced at the rearview mirror, convinced Mimi remained buckled in the center seat. Wiping the tears from the corners of my eyes, I sucked in a ragged breath, steadying myself. I accepted Mimi’s death. As I learnedabout the rich life she lived, the grief diminished. She had lived… adventured.
