“Maybe that’s what I need, a chance to live a little.”
“Next time I go to visit my parents, why not join me?” Before I could narrow my eyes, he shook his head. “You getyourhotel room. I’ll get myveryseparate hotel room. I can take you out and see if it’s something you’d like.”
“Thanks. That’s nice of you.” I’m pretty sure this is how my tell-all kidnapping memoir started. “I think I just need… a change?”
“For what it’s worth, I think you’re doing a fine job changing things up around here.”
I looked around. Did he mean the dozen patrons doing something that looked like drunken line dancing? The alcohol had taken its toll, and anything that came out of my mouth from here on out wasn’t in my control.
“Your comic thing.” He took the beer from my hand and replaced it with a glass of water. “I’ve seen the fliers. I’ll be showing up with my little sister. She’s been working on her Hellcat costume for weeks.”
“Aww, that’s adorable.”
“Speaking of adorable… flag me down if you need me.”
Had he ditched me mid— Somebody pulled out the stool to my side? I prepared for the horrific pickup line. Though, at this point, even a lame line about being handsome would do wonders for my ego. When I glanced at the bar and saw his forearms, I spotted the tattoos.
My heart made a drunken leap.
“I know when I’ve done something wrong.”
I gawked at his hairy forearms. It took willpower not to reach out and begin tracing them anew. I’d start at the frying pan and move my way to the crossed knives. Eventually, I’d reach for the arm of his shirt and need him to take it off so I could continue mapping his body.
“I don’t know what you mean.”
“Responding to a text message with ‘k’ is the universal sign somebody is pissed at you.”
My memory might be hazy, but I clearly remember him suggesting we should get together. The conversation with Lucy continued taunting me. There were so many mixed signals I couldn’t navigate. I tried to be pleasant, but after a while, my bad mood reared its ugly head.
“Sorry about that.” I was too intoxicated to get into it. “I’ve got a lot on my mind with the convention.” It might be cowardly of me, but as long as I didn’t flat-out ask him, I wouldn’t have a definitive answer. I tortured myself to avoid rejection.
“This is because of Lucy, isn’t it?”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” I wasn’t any better at lying while drunk. “Maybe.”
Matt did a pass, wiping down the counter. He caught my eye, looking for that universal plea for help. Much like the people in the Bistro, I had support should I need it. I gave him a slight wave. Knowing I had a sidekick bolstered what little courage I had.
“I was perfectly happy before you showed up.” It cameout angrier than I intended, but I didn’t apologize. “After we fucked in the store—” Matt’s eyes went wide before he scurried further down the bar. “—I was okay with it being a cum and go. I didn’t expect anything. Some hot daddy bear needed to get his rocks off.”
“Jason—”
He put a hand on my shoulder. “No.” I shrugged it off. “Then you asked me out.”
I should have paid my tab and walked away. Simon had come to check in on me. That made it worse. It kicked up all the feelings, and the alcohol didn’t help as I tried to process my feelings. Once my mouth gained momentum, it didn’t stop.
“You..you…” I turned to face him. “You askedmeout. I didn’t believe it at first. I would have been content living my life, but you walked into it like a hurricane. You made me want something more. That’s on you.”
Simon didn’t shy away from my words. He locked eyes, giving a slight nod. They were beautiful, and even now, I thought about him on the couch, suffering his way through superhero movies to impress me. It took me a while to get there, but there was no mistaking the signs. He knocked down my walls and stormed the castle.
“I was already considering packing up and moving to the city. Maybe I put much stock into this.” The convention gave me the slightest sliver of hope that I could make peace with living in Firefly. The day in the park when Simon asked me out, I found another thread, a life line.
“There’s no reason to stay.”
Simon said nothing as I got up. He had his opening. With a few words, he could put me out of my misery. I wanted to be angry. At least then, I could push the sadness outward. Realizing I couldn’t be mad at Simon, I left.
I walked to the other side of the bar and exited. My feet dragged across the gravel, the only sound in an otherwise silent night. Driving wasn’t an option, and as I reached for the keys in my pocket, I remembered Matt had taken them after the fourth beer. Crawling into the cab wasn’t an option, either.
“Great,” I growled. I couldn’t leave, and I certainly wasn’t going inside after making a dramatic exit. These days, it seemed if not for bad luck, I wouldn’t have any luck at all. I could call Amanda or Jon, but then I’d have to answer questions.
