“Oh my God,” he yelled. “Did I just — I just — It’s so cold!”
I cackled. Spoken like a true city boy. “It’s official. You’re one of us now.” I wanted to make a joke at his expense, but my brain replayed the flailing bear. Wait, was he naked?
“This is hazing,” he said. “I can’t believe I did that.”
“Maybe you have a little country in you.”
“Payback for putting a little city in you?”
I nearly choked. Even the cold water couldn’t stop my little friend from jumping upright. With miles between us and the town and not another soul in sight, I gathered the bravery to ask the question that had been pounding away at my brain since our day in the backroom.
“What was the other day?” I blurted it out with no finesse. This moment played out in my head a thousand times. I needed the answer for my sanity. However, the moment the words left my mouth, I feared the answer wouldn’t live up to my fantasy.
“I’m going to need more information.”
With a couple of strokes, he tread water in front of me. The two glow sticks created a soft green glow in the water. It was impossible to see the white stripe through his chest hair, but it was there. I knew it, but I also remembered feeling it against the palm of my hand.
I could have changed the subject without him knowing. However, I owed it to myself to get to the bottom of it. “In the comic shop. You might find this hard to believe, but it’s not often I hook up with a hot bear in the backroom.”
“No? I’d assume you were beating them off with a stick.”
I refrained from making a ‘beating them off’ joke. “My life isn’t that exciting.”
Other than the slight sloshing of water and symphony of crickets, the quarry grew quiet. I wanted to kiss him. My lungs wanted to fill with his cologne and have it burned into my memory. I could lie to myself and blame the environment. Every inch between us felt like an eternity, and I wanted to close the space.
“Honestly, I don’t know what came over me. I just…” His voice trailed off. Had Simon never considered the possibility he liked men? I hadn’t been part of somebody’s coming-out story since college. None of them had been through a divorce.
“It’s okay. You don’t owe me an explanation.” I wanted one, but it didn’t entitle me to an answer. I had come storming out of the closest in a burst of glitter. Not everybody had the luxury of being their authentic selves.
“It wasn’t my first time.” The words were almost a whisper. “My roommate in college, we sort of had a thing.”
I had watched plenty of porn with that exact plot. I’d file that away for masturbatory fantasies later. “That explains why it was so damned good.”
“I’ve thought about it plenty, but it’s hard to explain. I mean, you’re sexy on your own. But when you offered to help with Lucas… I don’t know. Can paternal instincts be sexy?”
I hadn’t thought of it like that. Did my love for comics and desire to help his kid read get me laid? If that were the case, I’d be giving Simon more comics as soon as we got dry.
“Maybe I’m gay.” He gave a slight shrug, his face dipping into the water. “Bi? Would it be cheating to say I’ve never given it a label?”
I had heard the statement before. After all the changes in his life, this might not be at the top of his priority list. I wasn’t in a rush to slap a label on him. This was his journey, and I’d follow him as he walked it. I hoped his path to self-discovery included me.
Moving closer, I gave him a peck on the lips. “Not cheating at all.”
His smile said I made the right decision. If Simon needed time, I’d gladly give it to him. It might result in our connection being nothing more than a friendship. I’d be sad we didn’t have a repeat performance. I don’t know if it’d ever be quite enough for me. That was my baggage to sort through.
“So, I heard from Dorothy, who talked to Gladys, who mentioned?—”
“I can’t believe any of them. Is nothing sacred?”
He laughed. “Abraham said you didn’t think this was a date.”
I’d have to move if I ever wanted privacy. I suspected that Abraham knew his comment would travel across town. My wingman’s duties didn’t end when Simon asked me to hang out.
He swam close, his belly pressed against mine.
“I assure you,” he whispered. “It’s a date.”
It had been almost an hour of lying on our backs staring at the stars. Despite this canopy of awe above us, I could only think of his pointer finger running along my knuckles. With every rise and fall, I waited to see if it’d come to an end. I breathed a sigh of relief as he continued in the other direction.
