As he stared at her openly, he could see all the little features he’d forgotten over the years—the slightly upturned nose and the long, light lashes. He inhaled sharply.
Lia moved her hand, and the snow around them began to swirl. He watched in awe as, just like with Auryn and Isaiah in the woods, Lia seemed to form a tunnel of snow that swirled around his mother. After a few seconds that felt like a lifetime, the snow calmed, and Helena opened her eyes.
For a moment, she just stood there, her body stiff. Then she looked at Ash and ran to him as she said, “Oh, Ash, my boy!”
Chapter Seventy-Four
SOFIA
“You’re taking me to an Italian restaurant on St. Patrick’s Day?” Sofia asked skeptically as Isaiah climbed into her passenger seat. Isaiah and Henry had been crowned the winners of the first annual Emerald Hollow St. Patrick’s Day Treasure Hunt, then Sofia had gone home to change out of her barmaid costume.
She hadn’t hesitated when Isaiah asked her to dinner. Yes, he’d left with very little explanation after an overwhelming experience of getting all his memories back. But while she’d been hurt by the abrupt way he’d left things, what he had done was nothing like what Noah had done. He deserved a chance to explain, and she craved an explanation. After months of only knowing the limited-memory Isaiah, she was desperate to know what he was like with his history back.
And seeing him there, under the rainbow in Jewel’s Meadow, had sparked a feeling in her like the one she’d felt when they were wrapped up in the kites together or when the hummingbirds visited her porch, as if some magical essence she’d never encountered before was nudging things along. Sofia wondered if those feelings were what people meant when theyspoke of fate. But no matter what had led him to that meadow, it had been too magical of a moment to say anything but yes.
Before dinner, she’d changed into a sleek black dress and heeled boots but left the shamrock earrings on. Some traditions, she preferred to keep.
“Don’t you worry. The owner was advertising some kind of Italian-style corned beef special.” He winked at her then ran his eyes over her outfit. “You look stunning.”
“Don’t start flattering me now,” she said, though she glanced over and gave an appreciative look at the svelte suit he had donned. “Though you do clean up all right.”
“Just all right? I broke out the big guns for tonight. I don’t usually wear this unless I’m going to a wedding or a funeral.”
His voice changed on the last word, and silence rang throughout the vehicle for a few moments. Sofia kept her eyes straight ahead as she drove to the restaurant. She was suddenly uncharacteristically nervous to have dinner with him.
They parked on Main Street then entered the Italian restaurant together, Isaiah holding the door open for her. As she passed by, she noticed he smelled like expensive cologne, something he’d never worn in Emerald Hollow before, and it had the desired effect. Part of her wanted to pause and kiss him right then, but she wasn’t sure if they would ever be kissing again or if Isaiah had come to give her an explanation then say goodbye for good.
They made small talk about the treasure hunt until they ordered, then they both seemed to sense that it was time to get down to business.
“Okay, let’s do this,” Sofia said, after taking a gulp of her wine. “Why did you leave like that?”
Isaiah nodded as if he had anticipated her question. “Things were… strange when I got my memories back. It was good atfirst. I was excited to share everything with you. Then as I started to remember more and more, I just sort of… panicked.”
Sofia watched him closely but didn’t speak. She resisted reaching into the bread basket to give her something to do with her hands.
“The truth is a lot different from how I made it seem at first. Yes, all my memories came rushing back, but there were many things about my life that I hadn’t processed yet.” He took a deep breath, and Sofia watched him carefully.
“The reason I was hiking the Pacific Crest Trail this spring was in memory of a fallen comrade. A good friend from my hometown who joined the army around when I did. He was killed in action a year ago and?—”
Sofia sucked in a deep breath and reached across the table to put her hand on his. “I’m so sorry, Isaiah.” She knew the pain of losing someone, and she couldn’t imagine what it would be like to have that memory come crashing down on you suddenly.
Isaiah squeezed her hand. “I was doing the hike as a memorial to him. I was his commanding officer, and I felt responsible and useless when he died. It was like everything about my identity disappeared in an instant, and nothing felt right anymore. His death was the reason I got out of the military. Too many constant reminders. But I’d been struggling with my next steps. That’s why I went to stay with my sister until I could figure out where I wanted to settle down. I figured I would decide all that after I hiked the PCT.”
“That makes a lot of sense, Isaiah.”
“The truth was I’d been trying to make the pain disappear. I couldn’t work through it, as much as I tried. It was so hard to carry?—”
His voice caught, and Sofia wanted to walk around the side of the table and put her arms around him. But she didn’t. She wanted to let him get it out.
“I think I would have done anything to forget it all. I tried lots of things, none of them healthy. Hiking the PCT was kind of a last resort. But then all this happened. I lost my memory, and Iactuallyforgot about my friend’s death. I forgot my friend completely. When it all came back… it felt like an anvil smacking into my chest.”
He paused and took a sip of his wine, and Sofia mirrored him, a thick lump in her throat.
“But when I went back to San Francisco, I realized something. I couldn’t forget my friend’s death. I couldn’t block out what had happened. And I didn’t want to, because forgetting the things you cared about—the things that make you who you are—I realize now that that is worse than anything.”
“Oh, Isaiah,” Sofia began, but he continued.
“But something good came out of it. Two things, actually. I realized that having those memories, even the ones that hurt, are better than having none at all. It means I’ve lived and loved, you know?”
