Page 60 of Finding Cheer
As she watched the river, Sofia felt as connected to her mom as she had when the hummingbirds had paid their visit, as if the flickering flame slowly making its way across the water was her mom’s presence waving a soft “I love you.”Is this how I should feel when I do the memorial hike for Mom on New Year’s Eve? Is this what it feels like to have a tradition of remembrance I can look to with hope instead of dread?
“What are you thinking about?” Isaiah asked gently, coming up by her side.
“I was thinking that my mom would like me honoring her this way. We did the hike on New Year’s Day when she was alive because she enjoyed getting out in the crisp winter air for someexercise, but I’ve never enjoyed it the way she did. And whenever I do the hike now, it’s just so apparent how she isn’t there with me. I wonder…”
Isaiah surprised her by picking up on her line of thought. “You wonder if she would be okay with your forming a new tradition and leaving behind one that you shared with her?”
Sofia swallowed the lump that had formed in her throat and nodded.
“I didn’t know your mom, but I’m fairly sure she would have wanted whatever way you choose to remember her to be one that brings you comfort. If that’s lighting a candle and sending it down the river rather than hiking a trail, wouldn’t that be okay?”
Sofia didn’t have to think about it for long. Isaiah was right. Her mom had always wanted her to be happy and to blaze her own trail. Maybe she didn’t have to hold on to traditions for the sake of tradition but could forge new ones for the true sense of peace and remembrance they gave her.
The soft winking colors continued to dance in the corners of her vision as more flower boats were placed in the river. Isaiah placed a candle in a yellow flower and sent it down the gently flowing water.
“What did you wish for?” she asked once she was able to look away from the glistening water.
He mimed zipping his lips. “Isn’t it like birthday wishes? If you say it aloud, it won’t come true?”
“Oh, come ooon,” Sofia moaned, though she was smiling. “Is it really that embarrassing?”
“Nope. I’m not breaking the magic. The wish stays in here.” He tapped the side of his head.
Sofia threw her head back and dropped her shoulders slightly in defeat. “Fiiine. But you’re not getting any of my tulip ice cream tomorrow.”
Isaiah raised an eyebrow. “Tulip ice cream?”
“Okay, it’s just sherbet, but you know, we’re still leaning into the theme.”
“So whatisthe plan for tomorrow?”
“Vendors are selling for only half a day on Sunday, so I’ll only be doing that until about one. Then I’m serving ice cream at the Emerald House booth for an hour, then I clean everything up and go home.”
“I can’t believe you still have inventory after today. That was intense.”
“Yeah, I’ve been making the jewelry in every free moment since Ash decided to host this thing.”
Instead of responding, Isaiah took her hand and tugged her back from the riverbank into the trees, where they were out of sight of the other festival-goers. “Hey, there’s something I’ve been wanting to talk to you about.”
Sofia met his eyes and was surprised to see that he looked serious, all his usual playfulness gone. “What is it?”
“Before, when we were at the rental house in Ashland, you said you thought if I got my memories back, you would realize I didn’t deserve someone like you. That’s been bothering me ever since. Don’t you know how amazing you are? Who… Did someone… tell you otherwise?”
Sofia inhaled sharply and looked up at the sky. She hadn’t been planning to ever tell Isaiah about it, but since he’d asked, and she’d committed to trying things out with him, she realized she wanted to share.
“There was… someone. Noah. He was my superior officer when I was stationed in Germany. I told you I was enlisted right?”
Isaiah nodded, and Sofia thought she saw a strained tick in his neck. She hurried on. “We started dating. It was against all advisement, but he was the most romantic person ever, told me he loved me, blah, blah, blah. The classic cliché.” She let out amirthless laugh, remembering how naive she’d been. “We’d been together for nearly a year when I found out he had a fiancé back home.”
Sofia thought she could hear Isaiah grinding his teeth, and his eyes were dark. She looked away, to where she could still see lights glistening as the flower boats drifted down the river with their lanterns. “Of course, somehow, everyone in the squadron knew about it but me. So I turned out looking like a real peach. It was all a scandal. I ended up getting a phone call from a screaming fiancé I hadn’t known existed. You can imagine how that felt.” Sofia sighed, remembering the embarrassment and heartache.
“Then Noah put all the blame on me, convincing me I’d been some irresistible enchantress, and it was all my fault his engagement was nearly ruined. Yep, I said nearly. They still ended up getting married. It was easy to decide to separate from the military when my mom got sick. There wasn’t much for me to leave behind.”
Isaiah was quiet for several moments. Then he tugged her firmly to him and cupped her face in his hands. “None of that was your fault, and he lost out on the best woman he’s ever been lucky enough to lay eyes on.” His voice was fierce, and Sofia nearly stepped back at the fire she saw swirling in his eyes.
But he pulled her closer, tucked a hand under her chin, and slowly lifted her face to his. After they kissed, he let out a deep breath and ran a hand through his hair. All the anger was gone, and his mischievous grin was back.
“What?” she asked, pulling back slightly and feeling a hundred pounds lighter than she had in years.
