Page 49 of Chasing Cheer
She wasn’t sure what she’d been expecting, but it wasn’t what she saw. Instead of a hotel room or even a suite, it looked like the inside of a small house or apartment. It had a full kitchen and a spacious living and dining area, and she glimpsed a hallway to her left, where she imagined the bedroom and bathroom were. The place was sparsely decorated but very warm and inviting. Holly smiled, and Ash noticed her looking.
“Oh yeah, forgot you hadn’t been here yet. There’s a private patio out that door over there with a barbeque and a hot tub for when I need some time away from the rest of the house. But honestly, I don’t spend a ton of time here.”
“It’s great,” Holly said as Ash pulled on his coat.
They returned to the hallway, and Comet trotted ahead of them, wagging his tail at the prospect of going outside.
“How is everything going with the vineyard deal?”
“It’s making progress. I was trying to close the deal before the holidays, but it looks like it’s going to have to extend into January. Speaking of the holidays…” Ash pushed open the door, and they all walked outside. He took a ball out of his pocket and threw it for Comet, who went tearing through the grass to chase it. “Are you still planning to go home on Christmas Eve?”
“Yes. Obligations. You know how it is,” Holly said, thinkingobligationswas a severe underestimation of the task of delivering Dreams around the world. Still, the idea of leaving caused her to feel a slight sense of panic.
“I do. My dad skips most of the festivities in town these days, but he comes to the house on Christmas morning, and we have breakfast together. It’s the one day of the year that the restaurant and café are closed so that all our employees can be with their families. We like to feel as if we’ve rented out the whole restaurant, and we cook everything in the commercial kitchen together.”
Holly could picture it, even though she didn’t know Ash’s dad.
“That sounds really special.” She thought of all the elves having Christmas dinner together in the giant hall at the North Pole. She usually missed it because she was so tired from the Christmas Eve deliveries, and she tended to have a meal at home by herself. Comet nudged her thigh, his ball in his mouth. She took it from him and threw it.
“Wow, Comet. You’re just gonna ditch me like that?”
Holly laughed.
“Seriously, you’ve really hit it off with him. Normally, he sticks to my side like glue.”
“The feeling is mutual,” Holly said, laughing again as Comet performed a roll in the grass. He reminded her so much of the young reindeer, and he had firmly worked his way into her heart in her time in Emerald Hollow.
“You know how I told you Comet is named after the cosmic snowball, not the reindeer?”
“Yeees,” she said slowly. “What about it?”
“When I was a kid, I wanted to be an astronomer. I was pretty into stargazing. I would stay up and watch them for hours, until my parents forced me to go to bed.”
“That sounds like me with the northern lights. I can never get enough of them.”
Ash’s eyes widened. “The northern lights? You can see them from where you live?”
Though she panicked for a second, she was pretty sure the northern lights could be seen from Canada, so she tried to relax, which was getting easier to do around Ash by the day. “Yep. They’re amazing. It’s like this sea of green that streaks and swirls in unpredictable ways. I think of it like Van Gogh’sStarry Nightsbut better.” Holly had learned about famous works of art in her human studies classes.
“That was one of my mom’s favorite paintings,” Ash said, turning from her to look up at the sky. “Maybe a love of the stars was something we had in common.”
Holly simply waited rather than responding. Her parents had left her, but it had been in a different way. It had been their time. Ash’s mom had left when he was a child, and she couldn’t imagine what that would be like for a little boy.
“It was hard for a long time, but I’m happy with how things are going in my life now. We can only control ourselves and how we react to things, you know?” His voice was quiet and contemplative. He almost sounded like he was trying to convince himself. They stood side by side, and Holly thought she could hear his heart beating if she listened closely enough.
All the years Holly had been Ms. Claus, she had been in control of collecting Cheer. She’d felt competent and sometimes even powerful. But she hadn’t really been in control. She’d always been at the mercy of other people’s emotions. What would it feel like to know that you could control your reactions without running away at the first sign of discomfort?She leaned down to pick up the ball again and chucked it for Comet.
“Sorry, that was probably a lot. If I’m talking too much, just tell me to shut up.”
“Not at all. Your words got me thinking. With my… work, I haven’t really been in control of my reactions. It’s hard to explain. But here in Emerald Hollow, I’ve been able to slow down for a while. I don’t think I’ve been able to be fully in the moment for a long time, and I didn’t realize how nice it would be.”
“I’m glad this place has had that effect on you. That’s how I see it too. And I hope you know that you’re always welcome here. Short-term. Long-term. Maybe you don’t have to go back to the grind.”
Holly could hear the sincerity—and the question—in Ash’s voice, but she pushed it aside, staring at the night sky. He would never understand why she couldn’t stay. It wasn’t like with his mom. Holly didn’t have a choice. Her responsibilities were beyond her. They affected the entire world, and he could never know about it. She was a Claus, and Clauses always put Christmas first.
“Maybe,” she said softly, though she knew it was a lie.
“All right, buddy. Time to go back inside,” Ash said after a few more minutes, looking at his watch then up at the dark storm clouds.
