Page 25 of The Obvious Check
I take a couple of tentative steps forward, reminding myself of the conversation I had with Chloe last night. She said that Luke was always going to take them if he found out, and it wasn’t my fault.
Take. Take. Take.
It’s like a mantra at this point. There’s no getting away from him. Nothing is truly mine anymore. The only pathetic secret I’ve managed to keep is that my car has become my bedroom. And Cade… Luke has no idea that I’m crushing hard on Cade. I shiver at the thought of what he’d do to him if he found that out.
Students push past me, making their way into the lecture hall, but I can’t force my feet up the stairs over the crushing weight of my pitiful reality.
Cade will never be mine. He can’t be. All he’ll ever be is a fantasy in my head who helps me survive the soul-crushing moments on that stage when strange men’s eyes crawl over my body.
His eyes…
His smile…
His dimples…
I’m going to have to pretend he means nothing even though he means everything. How else can I explain selling his tickets? How can I possibly make him understand that I didn’t have a choice? That Luke simply took what he wanted like he always does.
How am I going to explain Luke got them in the first place? Will he start to connect the dots and realize I work atBehind Closed Doors?The second he realizes, he’ll see what I’ve been trying to hide from everyone at Covey U. The anxiety. The willingness to be degraded. The desperation.
“Are you going to join us, Miss Barnett?” Kinsey, the TA, asks as she marks papers with her red pen of doom, only serving to remind me that I’m nearly failing the class. I only just got the last assignment in on time, and I’m behind on all my other classes.
I’m never going to be able to catch up. Not with school. Not with money. Not with life. I’m going to keep circling the drain until I have no choice but to give up.
“Sorry,” I mumble before shuffling up the stairs to my seat. I have to slide past Cade, but he barely acknowledges me, if at all.
As I sit, I say, “Hey,” testing the water. He doesn’t speak immediately, so I pull my notepad and pen out. It takes Cade a while to turn his head, but when he does, his green eyes narrow and he tips his chin in acknowledgment as he looks back at his laptop, typing away.
That’s it?
A chin tip?
Wow. I guess I always took for granted Cade’s demeanor with me before. Normally, he’s friendly, and the only person I look forward to seeing. Now he’s cold and disinterested.
I drop my head in embarrassment and shuffle through the pages of my notepad, pretending to busy myself with that in hopes it stops my cheeks from reddening.
He ignored me. In front of everyone. But hadn’t I done the same thing? He doesn’t know I had no choice but to leave him high and dry at his hockey game. It wasn’t like I had his number to tell him I wasn’t coming.
He ignores me the entire class, and by the time it ends, he hasn’t looked in my direction once, too focused on typing his notes to care. I can’t leave it, though. I can’t let the only person who’s gotten me through this last year think I hate him.
“I’m sorry.” My voice crackles at the end.
He shuts his laptop and turns to me.
I swallow, feeling his heavy glare. “I really wanted to come. I had my friend lined up and everything. It’s just, I couldn’t get time off work. My boss wouldn’t let me, so I had to sell the tickets.” The sting in my throat I feel at the mere mention of Luke isn’t lost on me. I despise that man more than anyone else in this world.
Cade’s silent for a minute, his eyes assessing me, and I’m not sure what he’s expecting. Does he want me to elaborate? What more is there to say?
“Where do you work again?”
My eyes grow wide, and I try to stop myself from showing too much. I don’t want him to know. “I’m a server at a diner,” I answer, almost mechanically.
“A diner? And there was no one around to fill your spot?”
I shake my head, shifting in my seat a little. Cade might be his usual distance from me, but
his glare makes me feel claustrophobic. “My boss is very particular.”
He lets out a low chuckle, his demeanor changing. “That’s one way to put it. Surprised he wouldn’t let a girl like you off for one night. I’m sure you’re just as dedicated at work as you are here. Maybe I should speak to him about it.”
