Page 69 of The Little Provence Book Shop
Once they’d settled and Adeline had handed Lili a colouring pad and a new pack of pencils, she drew a book from her bag and tried to lose herself in its pages. But it was impossible; her mind kept pulling her back to the present – the purpose of their trip, the number of hours left between now and the moment she’d meet Sophia. Opposite, Monique also held a book, but when Adeline glanced at her, her eyes didn’t seem to be following the words but remained fixed, as if Monique’s mind were elsewhere.
Monique had been strangely quiet in the taxi, listening and nodding to Lili as she prattled away, but barely meeting Adeline’s eye. Adeline wondered whether she was thinking of her own prospective meeting, of whether she’d come any closer to finding the baby she’d given up for lost; or perhaps Monique was thinking of what would happen later, worrying on Adeline’s behalf about how it would go.
With Lili there, it was impossible to ask, and something about Monique’s manner made her sure she wouldn’t get a straight answer even if she was to enquire. She popped her bookmark in between the pages ofTant que le café est encore chaudand lay it on the table between them, then, leaning her head back against the headrest, watched the scenery flash by – predominantly green, peppered with the odd fields of cows, stone barns, or the shock of a vibrant field of sunflowers. Every little while, the houses would build slightly as they passed a village and she’d see streets and cars and lights on in windows, then they’d emerge back into the countryside. She’d watch as the land dipped away to reveal a river, then rose gently again, the sunlight playing on the fields, making the scenery sparkle.
Eventually her attention was broken by a man trundling past with a drinks trolley, and twenty minutes after that, she felt a heavy head rest against her arm and realised that Lili had fallen asleep. Gently, she prised the pencil from the little girl’s hand and slipped the colouring pad back into her bag. As she did so, she noticed that Monique had set her own book down and was looking at her, an expression on her face that Adeline couldn’t read.
‘Seems a long way, doesn’t it?’ she said, smiling.
The journey was set to be three hours and they were less than halfway into it. She hoped Monique wasn’t thinking about the shop, regretting her offer to join Adeline on this quest. Hoped, too, that Monique wasn’t sensing that things wouldn’t go well once they reached their destination.
‘Oui,’ Monique said, her voice slightly distracted. She smoothed her black skirt – a neater, more fitted style than the one she’d ordinarily wear. Adeline noticed, as if for the first time, that she was wearing a little more make-up than usual, that her nails had been polished in a gentle pink colour. Shereached into her bag and drew out a small bottle, its inside a mixture of powders in burnt orange and beige, a green dried leaf, some moisture or oil. Green candle wax formed a seal around its glass throat and as she passed it to Adeline, there was a scent of ginger and cinnamon, and another scent she didn’t recognise.
‘What is this?’ Adeline said, holding the tiny bottle and turning it in her hands.
‘It is for good luck.’
Adeline nodded. ‘Thank you.’
‘Keep it on you. If you want.’
Adeline slipped it into her bag.
‘And this, too,’ Monique said, sliding something into her hand. It was a crystal, this time in a dark red.
‘For luck?’
Monique shook her head. ‘No, this is for strength, resilience. To help you be strong for what is to come.’
Adeline felt a shiver. ‘Thanks,’ she said, her voice cracking a little.
‘Ah, do not worry. There is nothing terrible ahead. But these times are difficult, it is good to be strong.’
‘Thank you.’
Monique smiled. ‘Once, I would have been afraid to give you this.’
‘Afraid?’
‘Yes, when you came from England, I think you disliked the idea of magic. Of charms and crystals. The stone I gave Lili. But now, perhaps you feel differently.’
Adeline turned the stone over in her hands. ‘To be honest, I don’t know how I feel. About anything.’
Monique leaned forward, held the hand with the crystalwithin her own. ‘But that is good. It is good not to know. Not to be fixed. To be open to possibilities.’
They looked at one another for a moment. Adeline gave a brief nod. ‘OK,’ she said.
It was enough. Monique smiled, leaned back in her seat. ‘And I am very open to the possibility of coffee,’ she chuckled as they heard the rattle of the refreshment cart. ‘Would you like one?’
Adeline grinned. ‘You read my mind.’
After they’d had something to drink, Adeline tried to distract herself with the scenery again, watching the fields and houses and roads and small industrial areas whip past the window. She wondered whether Sophia would look as she did in her photo – glamorous and well put-together – or whether, like most people, her social media portrait showed the glossiest version of a more normal reality. What would Sophia think ofher? She’d brought a white blouse and some cotton trousers to wear for their meeting, but had chosen a more casual outfit for the train – her familiar jeans and T-shirt ensemble, with trainers. Would she be a disappointment to her mother? What had Sophia thought of the photo she’d displayed on the DNA site – an ordinary selfie she’d snapped quickly with her phone? She leaned slightly against the window, feeling it cool against her forehead.
There was a jolt and, sitting up, she realised she must have drifted into sleep. Her neck ached and her back felt sticky. Monique was leaning forward saying something. Feeling her consciousness return, finding her bearings, she looked out of the window and realised the station sign read ‘Toulouse.’ Abruptly, her senses flooded back and she heard Monique’s sharp ‘Quick!’ and got up from her seat, almost banging her head in the process.
Lili was rubbing her eyes, still a little out of it too, so instead of trying to rally her, Adeline picked her backpack up, then grabbed her child, lifting her out of her seat and rushing towards the open door.
They needn’t have hurried. Once they emerged, dazed, onto the platform, she remembered that was the last stop on the journey. People poured from the carriages and others waited patiently to step aboard. She put Lili down, holding onto her a little in case her legs were wobbly, and took a moment to centre herself.
