Page 61 of The Riviera House Swap
‘Are you OK?’ she said.
‘Ah, yes,’ nodded Sabine, flicking the tears from her eyes as if they were a nuisance. ‘It is strange for me, as I enjoy travelling but I also hate to say goodbye to people, to places. So I am feeling sad to leave even if I am excited to go.’
Nina nodded. ‘I understand,’ she said. ‘Sometimes, you want to be in two places.’
‘Yes,’ Sabine agreed, putting the T-shirt she was folding back on the bed. ‘I am happy to travel, very happy and lucky. But sometimes I think, am I doing the right thing? Should I be somewhere else? Should I be with my brothers… my friends? Am I selfish to do this all the time?’
‘I understand.’ Nina nodded. ‘But it’s not selfish to live your life the way you want – after all, it’s what they’re all doing!’
Sabine looked at her. ‘You are not much older than me,’ she said. ‘But you are certainly wise. What you say – it makes me feel better.’
‘Well, I’m glad,’ Nina smiled.
The pair locked eyes for a moment.
‘You have already become a good friend to me,’ Sabine said. ‘I hope we can stay in touch.’
‘Of course!’
Sabine’s lip wobbled again. ‘Ohmince!’ she said. ‘Why must my eyes rain all the time? I am just a little overwhelmed, I think. And it will be difficult perhaps on my own without my friend. But we will see.’
They fell into silence, each of their faces stretched into a sad smile. Nina felt a little awkward to have come to Sabine with such a seemingly insignificant problem and made to leave.
‘But wait, why have you come to see me?’ Sabine said.
‘Oh it’s nothing. Just… well, not sure what to wear,’ Nina said. ‘But I’ll figure it out.’ She gave what she hoped was a confident smile.
‘Are you OK?’ Sabine said, her voice concerned. ‘Your face has gone a little strange.’
‘Yes. Yes, I’m fine.’
‘Good. Anyway, you mustnotgo. Because I want to help you. In fact, I was about to come to your room. I have found a dress in my bag that I think will look better on you than me.’ She lifted out a summer dress from the seemingly too-small bag. It was three quarter length, black with a red floral pattern, a nipped-in waist and scooped front. It was, indeed, beautiful.
‘Oh,’ said Nina. ‘I mean, it’s lovely. But are you sure?’
‘Pah, it is just a dress,’ Sabine smiled. ‘Try it!’
Whether it was the new outfit choice or simply Sabine’s enthusiasm when she stepped out of her room a few minutes later, the soft material swinging perfectly at her calves, Ninawasn’t sure. But suddenly, her feelings of self-loathing vanished and she was able to meet the eye of the woman in the mirror with confidence.
‘You look beautiful,’ Sabine told her.
And for once, rather than deflect the compliment, Nina simply thanked her.
Twenty minutes later, her taxi arrived. She had been going to walk, but the weather had had other ideas. Light rain was falling – the first proper rain since she’d arrived almost two weeks ago now – and the pavements glistened in the fading evening light. Sabine had invited Antoine around for drinks and had offered to ask him to give her a lift, but she’d smilingly turned him down. She hadn’t been 100 per cent sure whether Sabine had been joking, or whether she hadn’t considered just how Nina’s hair and outfit would fare in the combination of rain and the turns and sway of an impromptu bike ride. Plus, it seemed cruel to ask Antoine to transport her to a date with Pierre after what he’d said.
Sitting in the back of the taxi as it made its way to the restaurant, she felt sick with nerves. Somehow, this was more daunting than trying to meet Pierre on false pretences at pétanque. Because this time, she didn’t have a backup plan, perhaps. Or because she knew that whatever spark they’d felt might brighten or dull depending on how the evening went.
Neither of them knew how the other had fared over the past two decades. What had passed. Marriages, children, jobs, illnesses, family – they had so much to find out about each other. She wasn’t the same person Pierre had fallen in love with – how could she be? Nobody could stay seventeen forever. And she wouldn’twantto be that person either, she realised.
Life had dealt her a few curveballs and a few ‘boring’ balls (if that was a thing; she wasn’t up on her sport analogies), but each one had shaped her, changed her. Even the bad thingsthat had happened had sometimes made her better in some way – sometimes stronger, more emotionally resilient, or more respectful of others’ feelings. She still had her moments, but essentially, she liked herself now; was comfortable with herself in a way that would have seemed impossible back then.
How had Pierre changed? Had he become a better, stronger version of the boy she’d known? Had life shaped his personality, likes and dislikes?
If she’d got on the plane years ago and they’d married, perhaps they’d still be together – against all odds. But the difference would be that they’d have grown together; had shared experiences that bound them to one another. And they’d have witnessed the changes first-hand, as they happened.
By the time the taxi pulled up against the kerb ten minutes later, she was practically a nervous wreck. She tried to give herself a good talking to (in her head at least).Come on Nina; this is Pierre! Your bond goes way deeper than that. The inner core of him would still be the same – they’d find the connection; she was almost sure.
The restaurant Pierre had chosen was a brasserie – not his habitual lunchtime one, but another, tucked away down a side street so narrow, the taxi had to drop her at the top of the road. ‘I am sorry,’ her driver told her. ‘But I am worried I will not be able to turn.’
